


Like it or not

by LouBearLove85



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Actor Louis, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Singer Harry, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-09
Updated: 2014-08-18
Packaged: 2018-02-12 11:13:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 79
Words: 64,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2107683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LouBearLove85/pseuds/LouBearLove85
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis and Harry broke up 2 years ago after a horrible fight. Louis went back to Doncaster to work on his acting.<br/>Harry stayed in London, moved on and is in a steady relationship, but what will happen once Louis gets a part in a new movie and moves back to London?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story for another fandom years ago, it's not my best I know.  
> Am changing it into a Larry fic, cause I love these boys with all my heart.
> 
> This fic contains smut. BoyxBoy.  
> Don't like it, don't read it.
> 
> English is not my first language so please tell me if I make major errors, but please do it kindly.
> 
> All characters in this fic are made up by me and my twisted mind. I don't own Louis or Harry or any of the other people in this fic.  
> Enjoy!

1.

2014.

Harry stood in the supermarket.  
Shelves full of healthy food were right in front of him. He stared at the supplies and before he knew it, he found himself walking again. He ended up at the Indian food section.  
He was craving a good curry. Just as he was filling his basket he remembered he wasn’t eating alone and started to put the items he just put into his basket, back on the shelves.

Jeremy just recently moved in with him, and sometimes, he just forgot.  
He’d gotten used to the fact of living alone for so long, this was all very new to him. He liked it though.

He’d met Jeremy seven months ago at a party. He already knew who he was, him being an actor who starred in several movies; and the moment they met, it just clicked. After a couple of dates, they fell in love and only a week ago, he asked Jeremy to move in with him.

Now here he stood, knowing Jeremy couldn’t stand Indian food, not knowing what to buy.  
Then it hit him! He was going to take his boyfriend out tonight, he’d take him to a restaurant where he could enjoy his beloved curry, and Jeremy could have whatever it was he wanted. Satisfied with his thoughts, he put the basket back at the entrance and made his way home.

It was there where he found Jeremy all stressed out.

‘Does that mean you didn’t get the part?’ Harry asked and kissed him.

‘Hiya hun. No, it means it’s between me and another guy…’

‘Oh, do you have to do another audition, or do you just have wait and see?’

‘We have to do a scene with Julia. They want to see which one of us has the best chemistry with her…’

‘That must be nerve wrecking! When do you have to do that?’

‘Tomorrow…’

‘Who is your opponent? Is he good?’

‘I don’t know him, think he’s from up north. He never did anything big before…’

‘Oh well, then that will be a piece of cake for you!’

Harry walked towards his boyfriend and planted a kiss on his lips.  
Jeremy still looked a bit upset.

‘I wouldn’t say that… After all, the boy in the movie is supposed to have a northern accent as well…’

Harry shrugged his shoulders.

‘But he doesn’t have your fantastic looks!’

Jeremy smiled.

‘Thanks love…’

‘Now go get your coat, I’m taking you out for dinner!’

‘I’m not going to celebrate a part I don’t have yet!’  
‘Who was saying anything about celebrating? It’s just dinner. And you shouldn’t worry. Whoever he is, he’s nothing compared to you!’

If Harry only knew…


	2. Chapter 2

2.

2014.

Louis lay on his bed with his eyes closed.  
He’d never been any more nervous for an audition. He needed this part badly.  
He needed an excuse to move to London.

He had had some big parts in all the local TV shows and the local newspapers were battering him for thinking he felt too good for his small town.  
It was indeed true that he needed a new challenge, but that wasn’t the main reason for wanting to move to London.  
It’s been over two years now since the last time he’d been here. And God had he missed being here…

He left having an enormous fight with the man he loved. He knew it had been two years and that they didn’t had any contact what so ever during those two years, but he felt that there was some unfinished business left to talk about, before he could go on with his life.  
Louis wanted to call him, but not knowing if he still had the same number, or that he would even wanted to speak with him; he decided to write him a letter.

Louis got off of his bed and went downstairs to the hotel lobby.  
He asked for a piece of paper, and went back to his room.  
He sat down in the chair near the desk and stared at the blank sheet in front of him. Louis sighed. What was he going to write?  
How could he ever make up for the last two years…?


	3. Chapter 3

3.

_2011_

 

_Louis was sitting in the hotel bar. He just got to London and checked himself in to a fancy, very expensive, hotel in the Chelsea area._

_He was going to ‘live’ in this hotel for the next 8 weeks, while taking an acting course at the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Arts._

_He had just finished drama school back in Doncaster and instead of joining a theatre company there, he wanted to learn more. He always thought that the best education was given at LAMDA, and so, he decided right after he’d graduated, to take up on a course in London. The course would take place the entire summer vacation. Eight weeks to be exactly._

_They would be studying Shakespeare, Marlow and many other great English play writers. There were singing and dance lessons, and they would get the Alexander technique. A well-known breathing/moving technique for actors._

_He took a sip of his tea and gazed out the window. What did he get himself into? The moment he graduated local agencies stood in line for him. But he said ‘no’ to everybody and went to London. He was preparing himself for eight tough weeks._

_While he sat there, enjoying his cup of tea, a tall slim man walked into the bar. He glanced around and smiled at him._

_Louis swallowed hard. Never had he seen a man as gorgeous as he. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of him. Embarrassed with his own thoughts, Louis decided to leave the bar and go up to his room. He stood up and went over to the bar to pay for his drink._

_As he was paying Louis noticed the man gazing right back at him. Louis felt the blood go to his cheeks and he quickly turned his head around._

_In the elevator he sighed again. ‘This man better not be staying in this hotel as well, or else I won’t be able to concentrate…’ he thought out loud._

_Back in his room Louis decided to take a bath and go to bed afterwards. After all, he had a very busy time laid ahead of him…_


	4. Chapter 4

4.

2014.

It was raining and bloody cold. Harry had settled himself at the couch and was about to watch a movie when he heard Jeremy entering the room.

‘Hey love. How did it go?’ 

Jeremy sat down beside him and rested his head on Harry’s shoulder. 

‘It went well. But I don’t know if it went well enough… They told me that they were going to give me a call later this evening…’ 

‘I’m sure you’ll get the part babe.’

‘I hope so… what are we watching?’

Harry smiled briefly. 

‘I was going to watch “Caught on a train” but if you want to watch something else…’ 

‘No!’ Jeremy interrupted. ‘That’s fine by me. I can use a bit of drama…’

Jeremy stood up and went to the kitchen. 

‘Shall I make us some tea?’ He said loudly.

‘Yeah, thanks!’ Harry yelled back. 

‘By the way, you had mail… I put it on the table!’ 

Harry got up and made his way through the living room. He looked at the envelopes to see if there was anything important. Bills and advertisement… nothing interesting at all.   
But then he noticed a letter in between the bills. It was handwritten and for a moment he thought he’d recognised the handwriting. That couldn’t be, could it?

‘Tea’s ready love. Are you coming?’ 

Jeremy placed his arms around Harry’s waist and planted a kiss on his back. 

‘Yeah, sure!’ Harry answered. 

If it was really a letter from who he thought it was, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what it said.  
He tossed the letter back on the table and walked over to the couch.  
They were going to watch the movie and that letter just didn’t exist… Or at least, that was what he kept trying to tell himself.


	5. Chapter 5

5.

2014.

Louis was completely exhausted. He had given his all during the last audition. Julia had been amazing. She supported him throughout it all. He really liked her and found it a pleasure to play with her.  
Louis was just on his way out of the studio when the director of the movie, Sam Breckett, came towards him and asked him to get back in.

‘Of course…’ Louis said, and he followed the director back into the studio.  
He sat down and tried to stay calm. He glimpsed at Julia, hoping she would tell him what was going to happen but she just smiled back.

‘Louis. Well, I won’t keep you in suspense any longer. The reason I wanted another chat with you is because we all thought you’re really good. Perfect actually for this part…’

Louis felt relieved and let out a gasp of air. Then he started smiling.

‘However…’

His smile disappeared, he had celebrated too early.

‘The other candidate for the part is amazing as well. I have a hard time choosing, so I want you to tell me why I should pick you…’

His mouth fell open. What was he going to reply to this?

‘Erm… I don’t know what to say really. I can tell you how much I want this part and how much it will mean to me, but I guess the other guy will tell you exactly the same… The only thing I can reassure you is that, if you will choose me, I promise I will give it my all and I will do whatever it takes to make this movie a success…’

Sam smiled back at him.

‘I told you Jools… he’s the one!’

Julia laughed.

‘Do you mean I got the part?’ Louis asked, his body trembling with nerves.

‘That’s exactly what I’m saying. Welcome on board!’

Louis didn’t know how to react. Part of him wanted to jump for joy, and part of him wanted to burst out in tears.  
Julia came towards him and kissed him on the cheek.

‘I’m looking forward to our co-operation!’

‘Me too…’ Louis said softly. ‘Me too…’

Back in the hotel he called his family and closest friends to let them in on the big news. Louis was so excited, he wanted to scream.  
He picked up the phone and dialled the number of Dana, a girl he met when he was in London the first time ‘round.

‘Hello?’

‘Dana? It’s Louis… Remember? From the LAMDA course?’

‘LOUIS?! Oh my God. Lou… how are you sweetheart? I haven’t heard from you in ages…’

‘I know, I know… I’m really sorry for all of that. But listen up. I’m in London right now, and it seems like I’ll be staying for a while. Do you have time to meet up?’

‘Well… I have to perform tonight in the King’s Head… Do you want to come and see? We can catch up afterwards!’

‘I’d love that. Just give me the time and I’ll be there, there’s so much I need to tell you!’

‘I’ve missed you, you know… Can I ask you one thing before we meet up?’

‘Sure, anything…’

‘Why did you come back?’

‘I just got a part in the new Sam Breckett movie…’

‘Gosh… that’s amazing! Congrats! Is that just it?’

‘I don’t know what you mean Dana…’

‘Yes you do… are you back here because of Haz?’


	6. Chapter 6

_6_

_2011_

_Harry knew it the moment he saw him sitting in the corner of the hotel bar. He just had to get to know him. There was something about that man… He was stunning. A bit shorter than him, feathery brown hair, sharp features and amazingly blue eyes._

_He found himself staring at the guy. The moment the guy noticed, he blushed, and then quickly got up and left._

_Harry sighed. Why did he stare like that? Now the guy had left, not knowing if he would ever see him again. He looked back at table the guy had just been sitting at. He saw something lying under the chair and got up to see what it was._

_It was the guy’s diary. ‘It must have fallen out of his bag when he took off in such a hurry…’ Harry thought._

_He opened it to see if there was a name in it._

_Louis Tomlinson. He smirked; the man of his dreams was called Louis._

_Harry and Louis… Sounded perfect to him._

_‘Excuse me?’ he asked the receptionist. ‘Can I leave a message here for Mister Tomlinson?’_

_‘Of course Mister Styles.’_

_‘Thanks’ he replied and started to scribble something down._

_‘There you go. Thanks mate!’ He said, giving the receptionist the paper back and added a five pound note, just to be sure the receptionist would really give it to Louis._

_Now all he had to do was wait and he went back to his room._

_Back in his room Louis had enjoyed his bath more than ever._

_He crawled into bed and reached for his bag. He searched for his diary and when he couldn’t find it, he panicked._

_All the dates and timetables of the course he was taking were in his diary. Louis jumped up and started to tear the place apart. No luck. He couldn’t find the damn thing anywhere…_

_He grabbed the hotel phone and called the lobby._

_‘Hi there, this is Mister Tomlinson speaking, room 38. I was wondering if I left my diary behind somewhere… can’t seem to find it…’_

_‘I’ll have a look sir, just a moment.’_

_‘Thank you.’_

_Impatiently she waited for a reply._

_‘Sir?’_

_‘Yes?’_

_‘There’s no sign of a diary here, I’m sorry…’_

_‘Fuck… I’m sorry sir, I didn’t mean to curse… it’s just that I really need my diary…’_

_‘I understand sir, but before you hang up, someone did leave you a message, maybe that can be of any help…’_

_‘Really? Thank you. I’ll come down then to get it. Thanks again.’_

_‘You’re welcome sir.’_

_As fast as he could he grabbed some clothes out of the closet and put them on._

_He hurried downstairs and was completely out of breath when he reached the lobby._

_‘Mister Tomlinson?’ The receptionist smiled friendly._

_‘Uh-uh… Just need to catch my breath, sorry…’_

_‘Here’s the message. I hope it’s about the diary. I told everyone who works here to keep an eye out for it.’_

_‘Thank you so much, that’s very nice of you!’_

_Louis opened the letter._

**_“Dear Mister Tomlinson,_ **

**_You left your diary behind this afternoon… I’m keeping it safe._ **

**_You can come pick it up at room 25, or else… meet me in the bar tonight._ **

**_Harry (a.k.a. the man who was staring at you earlier)”_ **

_Louis started laughing._

_‘Everything alright sir?’_

_‘Well, I found out where my diary is…’_

_‘That’s good to hear sir.’_

_‘Yeah, indeed… God that guy’s got some nerve, who does he think he is?’_

_‘I’m sorry sir?’_

_He shook his head._

_‘I was thinking out loud, sorry.’_

_He made his way to the elevators when a thought crossed his mind and turned back._

_‘Could I ask you one thing?’_

_‘Of course sir.’_

_‘Do you know the man who’s staying in room 25? Harry…?’_

_‘Mr Styles? Yes of course sir, what about him?’_

_‘Well, he seems to be the man who took my diary. And I just wondered who he was, if I can trust him to keep it safe…’_

_‘He’s a really nice man sir. You can trust him.’_

_‘Thank you once again.’_

_‘You’re welcome sir.’_

_Louis took the elevator back to his room and sat down on the side of his bed._

_He didn’t want to go up to this man’s room. A part of him did, he even found himself imagining ending up in his arms but embarrassed with his own thoughts he shook his head and decided not to go to his room. What did the message say again?_

_He opened the letter and read it again._

**_“Or else… meet me in the bar tonight…”_ **

_That was it. He just had to go downstairs, into the bar, get his diary and go straight back up to his room!_

_Before he went downstairs, he changed her clothes. After all, a part of him wanted to make a good impression._

_He wore tight black pants combined with a tight white tank top, it wasn’t too much, but did work on his good aspects._

_Satisfied with the way he looked he went downstairs and into the bar._

_He wasn’t hard to miss. Harry sat at the same spot Louis left him that afternoon. The moment Louis entered the bar Harry’s eyes lit up and a huge dimpled smile appeared on his face. ‘This man thinks way too highly of himself’ Louis thought._

_Louis walked towards him and sat down on the bar stool next to his. ‘So…’ he said. ‘Harry… right?’ Harry had this sparkle in his green eyes and Louis found himself lost. ‘Louis… right?’ he said softly. His voice gave Louis butterflies. He had trouble concentrating._

_‘I believe you have something that belongs to me…’_

_‘Yeah, I have.’_

_‘Can I have it back?’_

_Harry had this cheeky grin and looked at him intriguingly._

_‘How badly do you want it back?’_


	7. Chapter 7

7

2014

 

‘I’m so sorry baby…’ Harry put his arms around Jeremy.

‘It’s okay… I mean, it’s not, but hey, at least I get to play another part… maybe not the leading man, but it’s something…’

 

Harry tried to cheer him up but it didn’t work.

‘Do you know what? I think I head to bed… Tomorrow everything will look a bit better, or so I hope…’

‘Alright babe. I’m here if you need me…’

‘Are you coming up soon?’

‘In a bit!’

 

Jeremy leaned in and kissed him before he went upstairs to the bedroom.

Harry waited until he didn’t hear him anymore, then got up and walked towards the table. He picked up the letter and held it in his hands.

 

He was sure he recognised the handwriting. He brought the letter up to his nose and smelt it, as if he hoped to find the scent he knew so well…

He was afraid to open it. What if he’d just imagined the whole handwriting… what if he would open the letter and it would be from someone else?

Slowly he walked back to the couch, holding the letter still firmly in his hand.

Then quickly, like taking a plaster off, he tore the letter open and started to read.

 

**_“My dearest Harry,_ **

**_Don’t know where to start really…_ **

**_I want to apologize but I know that saying ‘I’m sorry’ would never be enough._ **

**_Why am I writing this letter? You must be thinking that right now._ **

**_Well, to be honest: I’m in London. And I’ll be staying here for a while._ **

**_We left things real bad and I’m so sorry for all the things I did and didn’t do…_ **

**_Even though it has been two years, I still think about you a lot._ **

**_There are so many things left unsaid…_ **

**_I know I hurt you terribly, and I know that it’s too late to ask for a second chance… but I think it would do us both good if we talked it out…_ **

**_If you want to that is… Well, just see… If you don’t ever want to see me again, I understand, I won’t contact you anymore._ **

**_You can reach me at the place where we’ve met… or just my mobile number, it’s still the same. Don’t contact me just because you think you have to. You’ve probably moved on, I understand, I really do…_ **

**_So, well, I can’t tell you how sorry I am for everything. Don’t ever think that I didn’t love you, I did and I still do…_ **

**_You’ve been the best friend and lover anyone could ever wish for._ **

**_Take care Harry, I hope you’re happy, you deserve to be happy._ **

****

**_Love always, Lou xxx”_ **

 

‘Harry, love, are you coming?’

As quickly as he could he wiped away his tears.

‘I’ll be right there!’

He heard the tremble in his voice, and hoped Jeremy hadn’t heard it. He looked at the letter again. Why did Louis had to do this? Why now? He finally got his life back again…


	8. Chapter 8

8.

 

_2011_

_‘I’m so not going up with you!’_

_Louis stood in front of the elevators together with Harry._

_‘Hey, you don’t have to. All I’m saying is, that your precious diary is in my room, so if you want it, we can go get it, if not, then not and I’ll keep it.’_

_Louis gave him an angry look._

_‘Alright, alright. But I’m just getting my diary and then I’ll be off to my own room!’_

_‘I wasn’t implying anything else, was I?’_

_Harry just stood there, grinning, looking incredibly sexy. While going up to his room, Louis observed him closely._

_The way he looked, the way he walked, the way he smelled… Louis felt his cheeks burning up again._

_Harry opened the door and made a gesture that he could go in first._

_‘Thanks’ Louis said, his head down, hoping that Harry wouldn’t notice his blush._

_‘Here you are…’ Harry said and he handed him the diary. Their fingers touched when Louis took the diary out of his hands. He swallowed hard._

_‘I thought you were going…’ Harry said sarcastically. ‘I-I am…’_

_He got his legs to move and reached for the door. Louis felt him standing close behind him._

_‘You don’t have to, you know. If you want to, you can stay a bit…’_

_Harry touched his arm. His skin felt like it was on fire._

_But he wasn’t going to give in. He had his dignity…_

_‘I’m going!’ he said._

_‘Alright… I’ll see you around then…’_

_Harry let go of his arm. Louis looked over his shoulder and his eyes met with Harry’s._

_‘I guess I will…’_

_Then he left and quickly made his way back to his room._

_The next day he found it hard to concentrate at his first course day._

_One of the girls he met, Dana, was walking with him to the cafeteria during their break._

_‘What’s up with you? You’re here, but you’re not really here… if that makes any sense…’_

_Louis smiled vaguely._

_‘Nothing…’_

_‘Then where are you with your thoughts?’_

_‘Alright, promise me not to tell the whole group, okay?’ Dana nodded._

_‘There’s this guy staying at the same hotel as I am…’_

_‘Ooh… tell me more, I love a good romance…’_

_‘Who was saying anything about a romance?’_

_‘Your eyes did!’ She laughed._

_‘Okay, well… to make a long story very short: I want him…’_

_Dana burst out laughing again._

_‘Don’t laugh at me!’_

_‘Sorry Louis… don’t take this wrongly… I mean, we’ve just met, so who am I to judge you… but you don’t look like the kind of guy who just wants men…’_

_‘What do you mean by that?’ Louis asked, not knowing whether to be flattered or angry._

_‘You look like the guy who waits for prince charming to come along, not the one who wants someone for a one-night-stand…’_

_‘I didn’t say I wanted that?! God… I don’t know what’s gotten into me… really… but that man… from the first moment I saw him sitting in the bar, I’ve been wondering about what it’s like to be with him… Gosh I’m helpless… I need help!’_

_Dana tried really hard not to laugh again._

_‘Who knows? He could turn out to be your prince charming, right? And what’s the last time you had… well you know… a good night…’_

_She winked and Louis knew all too well what she meant by that._

_‘Stop it! Seriously…’_

_‘What? Don’t tell me you’re still a virgin…’_

_‘NO!’ Louis shouted, and then looked across the room to look if anyone heard what Dana just said._

_Softly he spoke again._

_‘I’m not a virgin… but that’s not the issue. I’ve never had these feelings of… lust? Is that what you call it? I don’t know… it’s driving me crazy!’_

_‘What’s his name?’_

_‘Harry…’_

_‘What else do you know of him?’_

_‘Nothing… oh, wait, his last name was Styles, yeah, that’s what the receptionist said…’_

_Dana looked shocked._

_‘What?’ Louis asked._

_‘Please tell me he’s not your brother or anything like that!’_

_‘No, no! You don’t know that name? Harry Styles… it doesn’t ring a bell?’_

_Louis thought for a moment and shook his head._

_‘Should it?’_

_‘Duh!’_

_She stood up and dragged Louis along._

_‘Where are you taking me? We have to get back to class…’_

_‘We have some time… we’re going to find a computer!’_

_They went downstairs where they found a computer and Dana started to type away._

_‘There you go… is that your lust object?’_

_Louis’ mouth fell open while he watched the screen._

_‘Holy shit!’ he said._

_‘Indeed it is…’ Dana smirked._

_‘You’ve fallen for a former pop star!’_

_‘I didn’t know… I mean, now I see it, I remember him… how could I’ve not seen that?’_

_‘Well, it has been a while since One Direction broke up… and he wasn’t the most popular one…’_

_‘What do I do now?’ Louis asked._

_‘It doesn’t make any difference to the fact that you want him, does it?’_

_‘I guess not…’_

_‘In that case, go for it and have fun. Just fill me in on all the details afterwards!’_

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

 9

 2014

 

‘Dana!’

 

Louis fell into the arms of his dear old friend.

‘Lou! Oh my gosh it’s so good to see you again… look at you… you look amazing!’

‘Thanks Danes, so do you! And you were amazing as well… you got me crying near the end of the play!’

 

Dana looked real proud and smiled. ‘Thanks hun, now let’s sit and talk, we have a lot of catching up to do!’

 

They sat down in a bar across the King’s Head Theatre. They started chatting like old times and Louis realised how much he had missed Dana.

 

‘I still can’t believe you’re really here… When you left so suddenly, I thought you were never coming back again…’

‘That was the plan, but something in me made me come back…’

 

‘Have you spoken to him at all?’

Louis shook his head.

 

‘I think there have been a thousand times where I wanted to call him, but I didn’t…’ ‘Why not?’

 

‘He said he didn’t want to speak to me again, he meant it… I didn’t want to ruin his live even more then I already had…’

‘I believe that if you’d called him, you could have worked things out and…’

 

Louis shook his head and tears started falling down.

‘Oh sweetie… you still love him don’t you?’

 

Dana put her arm around her friend and wiped his tears away with a napkin.

‘He’s probably moved on, and that’s good…’ he sobbed.

‘He deserves that… but I miss him so much it hurts…’

 

‘Prince Charming…’ Dana spoke softly.

 

‘What?’ Louis asked.

 

‘Prince Charming. He was your Prince Charming after all… Is that why you came back? To tell him that?’

 

He shook his head again.

‘I got the audition for The Gift, that’s why I came back. But truthfully, I do want to talk things out with him. Just so I can move on…’

 

‘How are you going to handle it if he’s married and has kids by now?’

‘What? Is he married?!’ Louis was in shock.

 

‘No, not that I know… I’m just preparing you for the worst…’

Louis sighed. ‘Not married… that’s good’ he thought.

 

‘As long as he’s happy, I’ll be happy too, really. But I need to do this so I can move forward as well…’

‘In that case, what are you waiting for; give the guy a call…’

‘No, I already wrote him a letter, if he doesn’t reply in any way, I know what he wants and I’ll respect that…’

 

‘He’ll answer it, I’m sure!’

‘I hope so Danes… I really do…’

 


	10. Chapter 10

 10

 

2014

 

Harry didn’t sleep that night. He kept thinking about that letter.

He memorised every single word by morning, but still wasn’t sure on what to do.

 

‘Hey, you were up early!’ Jeremy said when he joined Harry at the breakfast table.

‘I didn’t sleep too well…’ he answered.

‘Aaww sweetie, have you been worrying about me? I’m fine with the part I have now love, honest!’

 

Harry tried to smile. ‘Sure about that?’

‘Absolutely!’

He shrugged his shoulders. He wasn’t on planning to tell Jeremy about the letter he got.

 

‘I have an appointment with my agent in an hour; will you be here when I get back?’

‘Don’t know. I’m meeting the lads in the studio today…’

 

It was a lie. He’d never lied to Jeremy before.

‘Are you? Didn’t know that… well; call me when you’re on your way home.’

‘I’ll do that!’

 

The minute Jeremy had left Harry stood up and walked towards the bedroom. He opened his drawer and pushed the socks aside. He grabbed the letter he’d put there last night and opened it again. He stared at the number and got his cell phone out of his pocket.

He dialled the number, but hang up before it rang.

 

What was he doing? Why would he call him? What was there left to say?

 

Annoyed, he wanted to tear the letter apart, but he couldn’t. He put the letter back in the drawer and closed it. He went back to the living room, but halfway down, he turned back.

 

This time he threw his socks out, got the letter and his phone and started dialling the number again.

It rang, and rang, and…

 

‘Hello?’

 

Harry felt his heart skip a beat. He closed his eyes and savoured the sound he just heard.

 

‘Hello?’ Louis spoke again.

He took a deep breath and answered.

 

‘Louis? It’s Harry…’ He could hear him swallow.

He started trembling and sat down on his bedside.

 

‘Loubear? Are you still there?’

He hadn’t said that name in two years, not once had he said it, he didn’t know why he did now.

 

‘I’m still here… I never thought you would call… How are you?’

A tear ran down his face.

‘I’m good, you?’

‘I’m alright…’

‘Good…’

‘I’m so sorry Haz…’

‘I know. So am I.’

‘Can I see you?’

 

Harry wiped the tears from his face. ‘I don’t know… I don’t know if that’s a good idea Lou… I’m with someone now…’

 

He heard Louis voice change and knew he was disappointed with his answer.

 

‘I see… Alright, I understand. Just tell me... are you happy?’

‘Yeah, I am.’

It went quite on the other end of the line and he knew he’d hurt Louis once again…

 

‘Good. Then I’m happy too!’ Louis answered happy but Harry could tell he wasn’t.

‘How long are you staying in London?’

‘Until my job’s done here.’

‘I see…’

 

He didn’t know what to say anymore. He wanted to tell Louis he’d missed him but he knew that he would get himself into trouble with that.

 

‘Who knows, we might run in to each other… I got to go now. It was good to hear your voice Lou… I really hope you’re alright…’

‘Yeah… you too. Bye Haz…’

‘Bye Lou…’

 

Harry hang up and fell down on his bed. He closed his eyes. He could still hear Louis’ voice in his head. Memories filled his head.

He hadn’t allowed himself to think about Louis for quite some time now, but there was nothing that stopped him now.

 

The first thing he remembered were his soft lips, it was as if he could feel them right now. He could feel his entire body, he heard Louis voice, heard his laugh…

No one touched him the way Louis used to do… He remembered every single thing about him, he wanted him so badly.

 

Harry jumped up when he suddenly heard someone downstairs.

 

‘Haz? Are you home? I thought you were going to the studio?’

‘Change of plans…’ Harry answered as he walked down the stairs.

 

He wanted these thoughts out of his mind; he couldn’t deal with them, not now…

He grabbed Jeremy’s waist and started kissing him. He let his boyfriend to the couch and fell on top of him. With every kiss he thought more about Louis.

How Louis kissed, how Louis felt. It didn’t take him long before he removed Jeremy’s clothes.

 

‘I like your change of plans…’ Jeremy giggled.

‘Shhh…’ Harry said.

 

He didn’t want to hear him speak. He remembered how Louis used to love it when he kissed him around his bellybutton and started to make his way down. He felt disappointed when it didn’t seem to have the same effect on his current boyfriend.

He started to make love to Jeremy in the weirdest way ever.

Totally exhausted he lay on top of him afterwards.

 

‘Wow…’ Jeremy said, wanting to let his fingers run through Harry's hair, but Harry quickly got up.

‘Where are you going?’

‘To take a shower…’ Harry answered.

‘I’ll join you…’

‘No! I mean, no, you got me all tired, let me just take a shower alone, then I’ll get my strength back…’

‘Sure, I’ll wait right here…’

 

Harry walked up the stairs and got into the shower. He let the hot water rinse his body. He knew that what he just did was wrong, but he couldn’t help himself. Hearing Louis’ voice just brought back memories, good memories. But he had to get him out of his system again. He was happy with Jeremy now, and that was what he wanted to be… happy.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

 11

 

_2011_

_Louis stood in front of room number 25. He was wearing the tightest red pants to show off his ass and a very low cut tight white shirt. Maybe a bit over the top, but he had a mission to accomplish._

_He thought that, if he gave his body what it apparently needed, all would go well again._

_He knocked on the door and listened carefully._

_‘Who’s there?’_

_He was in, there was no way back now._

_‘It’s Louis…’_

_The door swung open and Harry was standing in front of him. Wearing nothing but dark brown sweats._

_‘What can I do for you?’ Harry asked with a cheeky grin on his face._

_Louis stared at him. He had thought about Harry’s body and how it would look like, but never in a million years had he expected it to look so good._

_‘Are you okay? Lost something again?’_

_Harry scanned Louis’ body with his eyes and Louis knew Harry liked what he saw._

_‘Can I come in?’ he asked._

_He looked surprised but smiled._

_‘Of course…’_

_Harry took a step aside and let him pass._

_He closed the door behind Louis and turned around._

_‘Are you here for anything in particular?’_

_‘I just thought I should thank you for giving me my diary back…’_

_Harry walked towards Louis and stood right in front of him. Louis looked him in the eyes._

_‘Well, I think it was my pleasure…’_

_‘You think?’ Louis looked puzzled._

_‘Yeah, I think. That depends on the way you’re going to thank me…’_

_Louis’ eyes widened. He did not just say that did he? Oh what the hell… he wanted him and Harry knew it!_

_‘I can think of a way or two…’ Louis said cheeky._

_‘Can you? I’m dying to find out…’_

_Harry cupped his face in his hands and kissed him. Louis kissed him back and deepened the kiss._

_He felt the tip of Harry’s tongue against his lips and opened his mouth. Louis grabbed the back of Harry’s head and pulled him closer. He loved the feel of his tongue and didn’t want to break the kiss. Harry’s hands lowered down his body and he rested them on Louis’ bum._

_Louis hands moved all over Harry’s bare chest. His skin felt soft and hot and Louis could feel his heart beat fast. He pinched Harry’s nipples and smiled when he got a soft moan in reply._

_Harry tried to pull his shirt up and Louis let go of him to give him a hand, quickly discarding himself of his pants as well._

_Gasping for air Louis clutched himself to Harry’s body once again. Harry started to push him towards the bed, still kissing him deeply._

_Lying under him on the bed Louis could feel his excitement grow. He tried to pull Harry’s sweats down but couldn’t reach far enough. Louis pushed him over and sat on top of him. For a moment he broke the kiss and looked at Harry._

_Harry was breathing fast and his eyes were filled with lust. Louis stroke his chest, fingers tracing the patterns of the dark ink of the tattoos on his skin. Slowly making his way downwards ending at Harry’s waistband._

_This time, Louis was able to remove his sweats with one simple move. He glanced at Harry’s boxers, pleased with what he saw. Slowly he ran his fingers over the soft cotton and Harry bit his lip._

_Teasingly Louis pulled them down a little. When he took them off Harry opened his eyes again and reached out to touch him. Louis gave in and his mouth found Harry’s once again._

_They both groaned with pleasure while Harry thrust his hips against him. They moaned into each other’s mouths._

_‘Do you have...’ Louis started as Harry flipped them over once again and kissed his way downward, his hands groping Louis’ bum._

_‘Bedside table’ Harry replied as he continued his admiration for Louis’ body.  
Louis managed to grab the bottle of lube that was stashed there and threw it in Harry’s direction._

_He thought he lost it when he felt Harry’s fingers slowly enter him. Harry’s skilful long fingers working their magic._

_‘Enough Haz... want you!’ He managed to from a somewhat decent sentence._

_Harry kissed his way back up Louis’s body before he removed his fingers and replaced them with his cock._

_Louis’s eyes rolled back into his head as he moaned out load. Harry quickly attaching his mouth to his again._

_It didn’t take long before they collapsed into each other’s arms._

_Louis ran his fingers through Harry’s curly hair._

_‘Thank you…’ Louis said softly and he nuzzled his head on Harry’s chest._

_‘Excuse me?’ Harry said a bit surprised._

_‘Well that was what I was here for, remember? To thank you…’ he giggled, he actually giggled._

_‘This is the best thank you I’ve ever had… what can I do to make you thank me again?’ Harry smirked._

_‘You’re kidding right?’_

_‘Does it look like I’m kidding?’_

_Harry looked at him, as serious as he possibly could._

_‘Guess not…’_

_‘So?’_

_‘In that case I think I should thank you for being so generous…’ Louis answered and leaned in to kiss him once again…_


	12. Chapter 12

 12

 2014

Louis couldn’t believe Harry actually called him. And although he’d prepared himself for the fact that Harry had probably moved on for a million times, he never expected it to hurt so much.

He crawled into bed, crying hysterically.

 

Hishand reached out to grab his phone and he dialled Dana’s number.

 

‘Danes?’ he said rapidly, trying to catch his breath.

‘Lou? What’s wrong?’

 

Louis cried out loud. ‘I-I… I’ve lost him…’

‘Hang in there hun, I’m already on my way!’

 

In less than an hour he heard a loud knock on his door.

 

‘Honey, open up, it’s me!’

 

Slowly he stood up and dragged himself to the door. The moment he opened the door Louis dropped on his knees and continued crying.

Dana set beside him and took him into her arms.

 

‘What happened sweetie? Did he came by?’

Louis shook his head wildly.

‘He-he called…’

‘And?’

‘He called me Loubear!’

 

Dana looked at him and saw the pain in her friends’ eyes.

 

‘You poor little thing… then what happened?’

‘He’s with somebody new…’ he sobbed softly.

‘I’m so sorry to hear that hun. But somewhere, it’s good that he’s moved on, isn’t it?’

 

 Louis shrugged his shoulders.

‘Perhaps it is… but I can’t help it… I hate myself for ever leaving him!’

‘I understand that sweetie… come on, we’re going to pack your bags…’

 

Dana stood up and pulled Louis back on his feet.

‘You’re coming home with me; this place only reminds you of him!’

‘Are you sure… I don’t want to be a burden…’

‘You’re not! You’re my friend and right now, you need my help, so I’m helping you! Now pack your bags and let’s get you checked out of this place!’

 

As soon as he checked out of the hotel, Louis moved in with Dana.

He still felt terrible about the whole Harry situation, but decided to let it rest. After all, there was a movie to concentrate on…

 


	13. Chapter 13

 13

_2011_

 

_Louis woke up when he felt someone kissing his entire face._

_He could feel a slight stubble on his skin and smiled._

_Slowly he opened his eyes happy to see Harry’s green eyes gazing right back at him._

_‘Good morning’ Harry grinned from ear to ear, dimples on full display._

_‘Good morning it is’ Louis said and pulled him close to kiss his luscious lips. Suddenly he realised that he had a course to attend to and jumped up._

_‘What’s the rush?’ Harry asked, surprised by Louis sudden change of act._

_Louis looked at his watch, noticing that if he hurried, he could still make it in time._

_‘I’ve got to go; I’m almost late for class!’_

_He began to dress hastily. Harry pouted._

_‘I don’t want you to go…’_

_It was hard to resist to jump back into bed with him._

_‘Believe me, I’d rather stay here, but I really need to go… But I promise I hurry back, okay?’_

_Harry shook his head._

_‘I’ll be checking out in a bit…’_

_’WHAT?!’ Louis said, feeling a shock go through his body._

_‘Why are you leaving?!’_

_‘I was only staying here for three nights, I’m going back home now…’_

_‘Home is where?’ Louis asked, afraid for the answer that was coming._

_‘Before we met, I was planning on going back to Holmes Chapel for a bit, but I reckon my place in London sounds more appealing…’_

_Louis had reason to smile again._

_‘Good… ‘Cause I’m planning on getting to know you a bit better…’_

_Harry raised his eyebrow. ‘Better?’_

_A cheeky grin reappeared on his face._

_‘Yeah! I want to know everything about YOU not just your body, mister!’ Louis answered laughing._

_‘What time are you finished?’_

_‘Five…’_

_‘Want to have dinner with me then?’_

_‘I’d love to…’_

_‘Good. I’ll pick you up here at six, is that okay?’_

_‘Perfect, where will we be going, do I need to dress up?’_

_‘That depends on what kind of food you like…’_

_‘Oh. I like everything… Italian, Indian, Mexican…’_

_‘You like Indian food?’_

_‘Love it!’_

_‘Then I know just the place to go to!’_

_Louis smiled._

_‘I’ll see you at six then.’_

_‘See you at six!’ Harry replied._

_Louis leaned in and gave him a peck on the lips. When he broke the kiss, he started walking towards the door._

_‘Oh, and Harry?’ Louis said standing in the doorpost._

_‘Yeah?’_

_‘Thank you…’_

_Harry laughed. ‘You’re welcome Loubear!’_

_Louis closed the door and made his way to the LAMDA._

_‘Loubear…’ he thought. ‘I like that nickname…’_


	14. Chapter 14

14 

_  
2011_

 

_That day it was hard for Louis to stay focussed on his lessons. During the Alexander technique, he lay on his back, hearing his teaching say how the class needed to concentrate on their breathing. While his whole class seemed to do just fine, Louis couldn’t help but think about the previous night and the night to come._

_During the break Dana grabbed him and took him outside._

_‘Spill it!’ she said._

_‘What do you want to know?’ Louis giggled._

_‘Everything…’_

_‘I’m not giving you full details here! But I can tell you this, no man can ever top that…’ ‘_

_Really? He still got his boyband skills then?’_

_Louis nodded._

_‘Gosh, I’m jealous! Does he still have any contact with the other lads?’_

_Louis started to blush._

_‘Erm… I don’t know… we didn’t exactly talk much…’_

_Dana looked at him in shock._

_‘Oh blimey! Have I been mistaken about you! You are a naughty boy mister Tomlinson!’_

_‘I know… bad isn’t it? But we’re having dinner tonight, so I hope to find out everything there is I want to know about him!’_

_‘You are going to get a hard time here…’_

_‘Why’s that?’ Louis looked confused._

_‘Because… How are you EVER going to be able to concentrate on acting as you’ve got something better after class?!’_

_Now they both started laughing._

_‘I will get myself together again, I’m a good boy, I can do this!’_

_‘Yeah right…’_

_The day went by faster than he expected it too. At the hotel, he took a quick shower, then changed and waited for the time to go by._

_At exactly six o’clock, there was a knock on his door. He checked himself in the mirror one last time, then opened the door._

_‘I thought we were going to get some Indian food?’ Harry said, surprised by the way he was dressed._

_Louis looked down at his own clothes._

_‘What? Is this too much? I just like to wear these trousers…’_

_‘I like you wearing them too…’ Harry said teasingly._

_‘Don’t start, or we won’t make it to the restaurant, and for one: I’m  starving, and two: like I said before, I want to know more about you!’_

_They went downstairs where Harry had parked his car. Louis felt comfortable around him, something he hadn’t felt with any man before._

_He’d booked a table at a nice Indian restaurant. The first thing Louis found out about him was that Harry liked curry just as much as he did. While scuffing their food, they talked about everything and nothing._

_After paying the bill, they stood up and walked back to the car._

_‘What else do you want to know…? I believe I told you everything I know about myself!’ Harry laughed._

_‘You’re being silly!’ Louis pushed him aside._

_‘No really… I do have the tendency to talk a lot when I feel at ease… but I’ve never talked this much in my life… I do believe you know more about me now then my family does!’_

_Louis smiled briefly._

_‘The same goes for me…’_

_‘Do you want me to drive you back to the hotel? Or do you want to see my place?’_

_‘Is that an invitation to really see your place, or just to see your bedroom?’_

_‘I don’t see why that one thing can’t lead to the other…’_

_‘You’re unbelievable! I think it will do you good if I said no…’_

_‘Why’s that? I’m just asking you whether or not you want to see my place, I thought you were so eager to know everything about me!’_

_Louis sighed heavily._

_‘You got me on my own words… can’t believe that…’_

_‘So it’s a yes?’_

_‘Okay, okay… but I’m not saying that means you get me into your bed again!’_

_‘I didn’t imply that did I. And for the record: it was YOU that showed up at my doorstep yesterday, you did that all by your lonesome self!’_

_They drove off to Harry’s house. As soon as they got there Louis made himself comfortable, slipped off his shoes and crawled onto the big couch._

_‘What?’ he said when Harry looked at him and shook his head._

_‘Aren’t you going to take a look around?’_

_‘That’s a good idea actually…’ he got up again and started to wonder about. He looked at the pictures that were standing and hanging in several different frames. He made Harry name every single person on them, most of them were family, but there were also pictures of the band._

_‘Do you still see them?’ he asked._

_‘Not much no, though we are thinking about making a documentary…’_

_‘Really? That would be great, I’m sure it will be a hit!’_

_‘I’m still doubting… I mean, I like my life as it is now, not being recognised anymore…’_

_‘I understand. But you said yourself you are thinking about doing something again…’_

_‘Yeah, but I didn’t mean that I wanted to go back being a band again, neither one of us had talked about that yet.’_

_‘Maybe you should. I reckon it will be great. You still got loads of fans you know…’_

_‘Really? How do you know that?’_

_‘I googled you earlier today’ Louis said laughing_

_‘You did not!’_

_‘I did to. After all, I wanted to know more about you…’_

_‘I just told you everything!’_

_‘Yeah, but I didn’t know if you were going to tell me the truth, so I had a backup plan…’ ‘That’s so sneaky. I mean, I have to trust you on your word, why couldn’t you?’_

_Louis shrugged his shoulders._

_‘What now? Are you mad?’_

_‘No, a bit surprised that’s all…’_

_Louis made his way upstairs, and took a look in the giant bathroom._

_‘This is what you can call a bathroom!’ he said staring at the lovely tub and separate shower._

_‘You like?’_

_He nodded. Harry stood behind him and put his hands on Louis’ waist._

_‘The shower is really nice you know…’_

_‘Is that a hint?’_

_‘Well, as you’re not planning on going into my bedroom, I have to try it somewhere else…’_

_Louis smirked._

_‘You’re quite something, you know that? But I like the way you think!’_

_Harry let go of him and walked towards the shower to turn it on._

_‘Do you need help with that?’ he said looking at his clothes._

_‘I do think I can manage, I’m a big boy… but I don’t mind it if you want to help…’_

_In the next weeks, Harry and Louis spent every single free moment together. Like Dana said: it was becoming quite unhealthy, but they both disagreed. They just loved each other’s company and didn’t want to waist a single moment._


	15. Chapter 15

 15

 2014

 

Both Louis and Harry did everything in their powers to erase each other from their memories. And they actually did a great job at it, both focussing on the main projects that lay ahead for them. Louis started shooting for the movie, and Harry started recording a new album with the band.

 

After a week Louis came on the set and got introduced to a new actor who was going to play his brother.

‘Hi there, I’m Louis. It’s nice to meet you!’

‘Hi, I’m Jeremy. Nice to meet you too. Nice, but weird…’

‘Weird? How’s that?’

‘I was the other guy in the final audition…’

‘Were you really? Gosh… that’s weird… I’m sorry…’

Jeremy laughed.

‘Don’t be, I’m over it now. Just as long as you prove me you’re the best one!’

Louis laughed along.

 ‘So we’re going to be brothers from now on!’

They began to chat and found out that they had a lot in common.

 

When the shooting ended that day, Louis realised how lucky he was. He might not ended up with the man of his dreams, but he had a great job, met lovely people and had a brilliant friend in Dana.

When walking home, he called Dana and asked her if he could get her anything from the supermarket, he was passing an M&S food section anyways.

They decided to grab some salads and he went inside to go and get it.

 

While waiting in line to pay for his food, Louis thought recognised a man who was  apparently shopping with a baby-carriage in front of him.

He paid quickly and walked over to see if it was the man he thought it was.

‘Liam?’ he asked softly. The man turned around and looked at him. He had to take another look before recognising him.

 

‘Louis? Is that really you?’

He nodded and gave him a friendly hug.

‘How are you doing?’ Louis asked.

‘I’m doing really good. I can’t believe you’re really here… does Harry know you’re back?’

‘Yeah he does…’ he answered suddenly bringing back all the feelings he’d pushed away.

‘I see. I’m sorry, he didn’t tell me. You okay?’

‘I’m doing fine. I’m here shooting a movie, it’s going really well. And I see you’re doing really well too! Is that Ethan?’

Liam smiled and looked real proud when he got the little one out of his carriage. ‘He’s gorgeous, just like his dad!’

‘Thanks Louis. I’m sorry I asked about Harry…’

‘That’s alright Li; he’s your friend after all. And I wish him the best. He is happy now, isn’t he?’

 

Liam put Ethan back in his carriage and took a while before he answered his question.

‘He is. I guess. But he was happier with you…’

‘Don’t…’ Louis said softly.

‘Honest. His boyfriend looks a bit like you, you know…’

‘Liam don’t, really, you don’t have to do this. You’re not making me feel better, at all!’

 ‘Sorry. I’m just surprised he didn’t tell me you were back. Have you talked to him?’ He shook his head.

‘Not really. We had a short conversation over the phone, but nothing was said, which I regret, there’s so much I wanted to tell him, but he didn’t want to, so I have to respect that…’

Liam nodded.

‘I guess so. Well, I need to get going. Sophia is probably waiting for me to get home… I hope everything goes well for you Louis!’

‘You too, Liam, you too!’

They gave each other another hug and went their separate ways.

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

 16

2014

 

The next day Louis was early at the set. When Jeremy arrived, he was already dressed for the first scene.

 

‘What’s wrong with you?’ Jeremy asked.

‘You look really sad… let me guess: love…’

 

Louis smiled vaguely and nodded.

‘Tell me!’

‘I don’t know…’

‘Come on, it’s easier to tell a stranger, give it a go!’

 

He took a deep breath and started speaking.

‘I came here two years ago to take part in this drama course... anyway, I met a man, the man of my dreams and everything went well for a long time. But then we broke up.’

‘Why?’

‘Doesn’t matter…’ Louis said. He didn’t want to talk about that at all.

 

‘Now I came back, and a part of me was hoping for a second chance. But I found out he’s moved on with someone else…’

‘Ouch…’ Jeremy replied.

 

‘Indeed. I was doing really well actually, but I ran in to a friend of his yesterday, and it sort of brought it all back…’

‘I’m sorry to hear that. Do you still love him?’

‘Yeah…’

‘He still loves you?’

 

Louis shrugged his shoulders.

‘We haven’t really talked since I’m back. He doesn’t want any contact…’

‘I think the reason why he doesn’t want any contact is because he still loves you, he’s afraid of that, I guess…’

Louis smiled.

‘Thanks. That makes me feel loads better…’ he said sarcastically.

‘Sorry. I meant it in a positive way!’

‘I know, I know… Better tell me about your love life. Is that any good?’

 

‘It was, but lately my boyfriend has not been himself…’

‘What’s up with him?’

‘He’s a singer and really busy with his record and all, that’s probably it. And I’m making way too much out of this, or so I think.’

‘I think so too. I don’t think you have anything to worry about love. The way you were talking about him yesterday, it  looks like you have nothing to worry about!’

 

‘You know what? Why don’t you come over for dinner after the shooting today? You can meet him, and then tell me if you think he’s acting weird or not!’

‘I’m not a specialist in these things Jeremy… Anything but, to be honest.’

‘I know, but you’re my brother, right?’

Louis smiled.

‘And brothers look out for each other!’ 

‘Alright, I’ll come over!’

‘Great!’

 

 

Harry walked into the studio. The moment he opened the door everybody went silent.

 

‘Alright. What have I just interrupted?’

 

He asked and took a good look at the three men gathered around the small table that was standing there.

Zayn looked at Liam and it was obvious that he wanted Liam to tell what was going on.

 

‘It’s nothing Haz. I just erm… I ran in to Louis yesterday…’

 

And there it was again… the pain in his heart when he thought of him…

Harry bit on his lip, neglecting the urge to cry again.

 

‘Are you okay mate?’ Niall asked. Harry sat down and nodded.

‘How is he?’ he asked so soft, no one heard him.

 

‘What?’ Liam said. Harry cleared his throat.

‘How is he?’

 

‘Oh, right… Good. He’s doing good.’

 

Harry nodded once again. ‘Has he… changed?’

 

Liam shook his head.

‘No, looks exactly the same.’

‘Did he look happy?’

‘Haz, man… I don’t know. What do you want me to say? Why don’t you talk to him? I think it will do you good…’

‘I’m with Jeremy now!’ Harry said, more to himself then to the other lads.

‘We know that. But I can see it’s eating you up inside. You guys have so many things left unsaid. I’m not saying you should go back to him, just talk it out. Really, it would do you both good!’

 

Harry shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I don’t want to think about that right now; can’t we start recording or something?’

‘Alright, if that’s what you want. We’re here for you if you want to talk okay?’ Niall said friendly.

 

Later that day Harry went back home. He looked at his watch and saw that it would be at least another two hours before Jeremy would be home. He went up to the loft and found the box he was looking for. He sat beside it, took a deep breath, then ripped off the tape and opened it.

All the pictures they made, all the memories came back in an instant. He smiled when he saw the CD Louis had made for him. There was even a shirt in there that still had Louis’ sent on it. He went downstairs, the shirt still in his hands and put the CD in the stereo. Music filled the room.

He sat crossed legged on the couch with the shirt still firmly in his hand, while the Rolling Stones sang the words that were in his mind… _“No sweeping exits or offstage lines, could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind…”_

He sobbed and let himself think back at all the good times they’d shared…

 


	17. Chapter 17

17 

_2011_

 

_Harry woke up and turned around to reach for Louis. He’d apparently left the bed already so Harry got up to look for him._

_‘Loubear?’ he said loudly._

_‘In here!’_

_He heard Louis’ voice coming from his study room._

_‘What are you doing in here?’_

_Louis sat behind his laptop and was pecking away._

_‘Downloading songs’_

_‘What kind of songs?’_

_‘Our songs…’_

_Harry looked at him and cocked an eyebrow._

_‘I didn’t know we had any…’_

_‘We didn’t, but now we do!’ Louis answered with a huge grin on his face._

_‘Do I have any say in this, or what?’_

_Louis paused to think then laughed. ‘Alright… come over here then!’_

_Harry walked up to him and kissed his temple._

_‘You’re wearing my shirt…’ he said when he saw what Louis was wearing._

_‘You don’t mind do you?’_

_‘Nah, it looks better on you anyways…’_

_Louis smiled and turned his head to look at him._

_‘That’s not true, but thanks. I’ll keep it on then!’_

_Harry pulled Louis up his feet and gave him a quick kiss._

_‘Hey! I was busy with the songs…’_

_‘You can continue…’ Harry said settling himself in the chair where Louis had been sitting in._

_He pulled him onto his lap and both of them stared to the computer screen._

_‘Very sweet… but very, very cheesy…’ Harry said looking at Louis’ song choice._

_‘Well… It needs to be cheesy. I’m in love you know…’_

_‘Is that so?’ he softly placed a kiss in Louis’ neck._

_‘Still, we need some other songs!’_

_‘What? I put the Stones on it…’_

_‘Yeah, but you chose “Wild Horses”!’_

_‘And what is wrong with that? It is my favourite song of them… and “Honky Tonk Women” doesn’t really suit us, does it?’_

_Harry laughed. ‘I guess not. In that case, we need some sexy songs… That suits us better!’_

_‘Does it?’ Louis said and he leaned in to kiss him._

_‘If you keep on doing that, we won’t find any more songs, you know?’_

_Louis smiled and kissed him again. ‘We can do that later…’_

_While kissing, Harry pulled Louis’ shirt up._

_‘What do you think you’re doing?’ Louis murmured in his mouth._

_‘Getting my shirt back…’_

_Louis pulled away from him and tried to look as serious as possible._

_‘I thought you said it looked better on me!’_

_‘True, but you look even better without it…’_

 


	18. Chapter 18

 18

 

2014

 

‘I’m sorry mister Styles, but he checked out a while ago…’

‘Are you sure? ‘Cause I know he’s still in London, has he really checked out, or has he told you to say that to me?’

The receptionist looked confused. ‘I don’t know what you mean sir. He left two weeks ago…’

 

‘Damn it!’ he said and hit the desk with his fist.

‘Did he tell you where he went?’

‘No sir, I’m sorry.’

Harry sighed. ‘Can you look his name up in your computer to see if he checked into another hotel?’

‘Sir, I’m really sorry, but even if I could, we are not allowed to give you that information.’

 

‘You don’t understand!’ Harry almost screamed and felt his eyes burning again.

‘I really need to see him, please I’m begging you sir. If you have any idea where he went, please…’

The receptionist looked puzzled.

‘Never mind!’

 

Harry turned around and started to walk towards the exit.

‘Sir, wait!’ the receptionist quickly ran after him.

‘What?’

‘I don’t want to get into trouble with this, so you haven’t heard this from me. But a friend of his picked him up. I believe they went to her place…’

Harry smiled vaguely.

‘Thank you. I think I know where to find him now, thanks a lot!’

 

Louis walked along with Jeremy.

‘Thank you for inviting me, that’s really nice of you!’

‘Like I said Louis, it’s quite selfish really…’

‘And like I said to you, who says that I can tell what’s bothering your boyfriend, I don’t know him, remember?’

‘I know. But you’ll notice he’s not himself… anyone can see that!’

They turned around the corner and suddenly Louis stood still.

 

‘What’s wrong?’ Jeremy asked.

Louis swallowed. They were standing in the street where Harry lived.

‘We’re almost there!’

‘You live here? In this street?’

‘Yeah, nice isn’t it?’

Louis nodded. Something in him told him to leave, this street, these houses; everything brought way too many memories back.

 

‘I’m really sorry Jeremy, but I suddenly realised my friend is performing tonight and I promised her to come and support her. Is it okay if we have dinner some other time? I’m really, really sorry…’

Jeremy looked surprised but shook his head kindly.

‘That’s okay. Perhaps it’s better if I just go home and talk things out with my boyfriend…’

‘You do that! Let me know how it went, okay?’

‘Sure, have fun at your friend’s play!’

As quickly as he could, Louis turned around and started walking home.

 

It took a while before Dana answered the door and she was in total shock when she saw Harry in front of her.

‘What are you doing here?’ she said softly.

 

‘Is Lou here?’

‘No, he’s not.’

‘Not now, but he is staying here, isn’t he?’

‘What do you want Harry?’

 

‘I wanted to give him this…’ He showed Dana a CD.

‘I’ll give it to him’ she answered grabbing the CD out of his hands.

‘Maybe I should do it myself…’

‘I don’t think that’s a wise thing to do Haz…’

‘No, you’re probably right. You will give it to him, right?’

‘I promise. Now go home, Louis can come home any second…’

‘Alright, thanks Danes!’

 

Dana closed the door and let out a gasp of air.

A few minutes later she heard the door open again and Louis walked in the room.

‘Hey Lou, you look a bit bedazzled…’

‘I’ll be fine in a minute, I kind of ran my way home!’

‘You should sit down…’

‘No, I’ll be fine, really, just need to catch my breath.’

‘No Louis, you need to sit down!’ Dana spoke seriously.

 

A bit shocked Louis sat down on the couch.

‘What’s wrong Danes?’

‘Here…’ she said and gave the CD to Louis.

‘What’s this?’

Then he took a look at the CD and knew all too well what it was.

 

‘How did you get this?’

‘Harry gave it to me, he told me to give it to you…’

‘Haz… When? Did you see him? How? Where?’ he rattled.

‘He came by. Just before you came home. He didn’t say much; just that he wanted you to have this. What exactly is it?’

Louis looked at the CD, then back to his friend.

‘It’s a CD we made, it’s our songs…’

 

Jeremy didn’t hear Harry when he walked in to the room. He had the stereo turned up loudly and was vacuuming.

When he was finished he was surprised to see Harry standing near the couch, looking for something.

 

‘Can I help you honey?’ he asked.

‘No, I just… lost something…’

‘What? Can I help you look?’

‘It’s just a shirt, I’m sure I left it on the couch…’

‘Oh that!’ Jeremy answered.

 

‘I put it in the laundry ‘cause I thought it…’

‘You did WHAT?’ Harry said loudly and ran up the stairs to the bathroom.

‘Where did you do that for?’ he shouted while making his way upstairs.

Jeremy was flabbergasted. He didn’t know what he did wrong.

 

‘I’m sorry love, I thought you left it there ‘cause it was dirty so I…’

He walked upstairs and saw Harry going through all the dirty clothes.

‘I don’t understand what the big deal…is’ he said softly.

 

Harry found the shirt and took it in his hands. He smelled it, then tossed it back on top of all the other clothes, now lying around the bathroom floor.

‘You should have asked!’ he said.

 

He walked passed Jeremy without even looking at him and grabbed his coat.

‘Where are you going?’ Jeremy called after him but all he heard was a door slamming and he was left alone. Not knowing what he did wrong, he walked towards the pile of clothes and grabbed the shirt Harry just held. Now he knew for sure… Maybe for Harry the smell had disappeared, but Jeremy knew what he smelled: another man’s perfume…


	19. Chapter 19

 19

 

2014

 

‘I need your help!’

‘I don’t know if I can mate, but I’ll listen to whatever you want to say, okay? Now sit and try to calm down…’

 

Liam looked at his friend, the last time he had seen him so messed up was when he and Louis broke up.

 

‘I don’t know what to do anymore… I keep thinking about him… about us…’

‘Haz, don’t beat yourself up on this. You guys never finished it off nicely. Maybe if you guys just talked it out, you both can move on…’

‘I don’t know, what if it won’t help?’

‘Well, you don’t know that do you? And you have to do something, right now it’s killing you. I can see it, so I’m sure Jeremy knows something’s wrong…’

 

Harry held his head in his hands.

‘I’ve been a complete jerk towards him…’

‘Then you better get this whole thing over with fast, you don’t want to lose him too, do you?’

Harry shook his head.

‘The last time I saw Lou, we kept fighting…’

‘You’re both older… wiser perhaps…’

 

Liam smiled at Harry who didn’t found it funny at all.

‘Just sleep on it… Come on, it’s late, you should go home…’

‘Right, thanks Liam.’

‘My pleasure mate. And if you want to talk again, you know where to find me!’

 

That night Louis didn’t get much sleep. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Harry, heard Harry, felt Harry…

They were almost finished filming and today, he had the day off.

‘Danes?’ he asked during breakfast.

‘Yes?’

‘Did you have any plans today? ‘Cause I was thinking about going to the gym, then take a sauna or something… would you like to come along?’

Dana smiled.

‘Oh yeah, working out is my hobby!’ she said in a sarcastic way.

‘Sauna sounds good though. But, I have loads to do today, but maybe we can go to the movies tonight, just hang out like the old times?’

‘I’d like that!’

 

Louis went back to his room to grab his tracksuit and a towel and took off.

He worked out for a bit then made his way to the sauna.

He’d always found the sauna very relaxing, but this time it didn’t work one bit. He needed to get Harry out of his mind and fast!

 

 

Harry was awake but kept his eyes firmly closed. He didn’t feel like talking to Jeremy, he didn’t want to explain… not yet.

So he lay in bed, waiting for his boyfriend to get up. When Jeremy woke up and went downstairs, Harry quickly got up and took a shower. He got dressed and went downstairs.

‘Good morning…’ he said to Jeremy who sat at the breakfast table, drinking some tea.

‘Hi.’ Jeremy said. ‘Could you sit down, we need to talk…’

‘I know, but it has to wait, I really have to go now!’

‘But Harry…’

‘No, really, I promise, tonight we’ll talk, okay?’

He left before Jeremy could answer his question. As soon as he got outside he grabbed his phone and dialled Louis’ number.

He didn’t answer so he left a message and started walking.

 

Louis didn’t stay long at the gym, it didn’t help, so why stay?

When he left the sports building he turned on his phone again, and saw that he had one voicemail message.

‘It’s probably Dana to ask what movie we’re going to’ he thought and listened.

 

_“Loubear? It’s Harry… Maybe I shouldn’t be calling you but I’ve been thinking and you’re right… we have stuff to discuss… if you still want to talk, I’ll be in the little café across the LAMDA, remember? I hope to see you there, I’ll be waiting…”_

Louis listened to the message again. It wasn’t a mirage, it was true, Harry called him and he was waiting for him.

He ran to nearest subway and hurried to see him. Once they had talked it out, everything would get back to normal again!


	20. Chapter 20

 20

 

_2012_

_‘Don’t go, just please don’t go…’ Harry pleaded._

_It had been the weirdest year for Louis. After finishing his course at the LAMDA, he sort of moved in with Harry, as he hadn’t had any plans for the future._

_Now, it was January 2012, they had spent Christmas and New Year’s together, had the best times of their live, and now he had to go back to Doncaster._

_‘Please Harry, we had this discussion before…’ he said._

_‘There’s no need for you to go, you can get a job here as well!’_

_‘There we go again…’ he sighed. ‘Harry, listen to me. It’s not that I want to leave you, but this is an opportunity I can’t say no to… Why can’t you just let me do this and come back afterwards?’_

_Harry grabbed his suitcase and started unpacking it._

_‘You honestly think you’ll come back? I don’t think so…’_

_‘Haz… this is stupid. I will come back, I love you! You’re being selfish here… STOP unpacking my bags!’_

_‘Why can’t we discuss this first?’ Harry asked while Louis started to put the clothes back in his bags._

_‘We HAVE discussed this Harry but you just don’t listen…’_

_‘Oh yeah, right… I just have to LISTEN, there’s nothing to discuss, as you’ve already made up your mind!’_

_‘Aaargh!’ he yelled out pure frustration._

_‘I don’t understand why you’re acting like this! Why can’t you believe me when I say that I’ll come back?!’_

_‘Because you won’t! I know how this goes… you’ll do that movie back home, everybody will love you and then they will offer you more, and more… and you’ll stay there…’_

_Louis shook his head._

_‘We don’t know that… First of all, who knows if the movie is going to be a success? Secondly, I thought you were happy for me that I got this part?’_

_‘I was… but not now I know that means you’ll leave me!’_

_‘How many time do I have to say it: I’m NOT leaving you!’_

_Harry was walking around in circles._

_‘What’s wrong with what we have now?’ he asked._

_‘Nothing…’ Louis answered softly. ‘But this is a big chance for me, as an actor, this is what I’ve always dreamed of doing… Why do you have to make such a big deal out of this?’_

_Harry looked at him, his eyes widened. ‘Why? WHY? God… because I love you! That’s why… And I know that I’m going to lose you, I can just feel it…’_

_Louis walked towards him and placed his arms around Harry’s waist._

_‘We’ll be alright… really…’ he tilted his head and placed a soft kiss on Harry’s lips._

_‘You can always come with me…’_

_Harry pushed him away and started walking around again. ‘You know I can’t now the band’s back together…’_

_‘Oh I see, so I have to give up everything to stand by your side, but that doesn’t work the other way around?!’ he said with anger in his voice._

_‘That’s not what I meant…’_

_‘Yeah it is indeed what you meant! You know what? Maybe it’s not such a bad idea that I’m leaving. Maybe we rushed into this too quickly… it could do us good to take some time apart…’_

_‘What?!’ Harry looked at him, not believing what he just heard._

_‘I don’t believe it… You actually want us to break up?’_

_‘I didn’t say that. Gosh… you need to learn how to listen before you jump the conclusions! I said that some time apart would do us good, not breaking up!’_

_‘Well I don’t want that. It’s all or nothing to me…’_

_He sat down on the couch and Louis looked at him, hoping he’d take his words back._

_‘You’re serious? Is that an ultimatum?’_

_Harry shrugged._

_‘It is?! I can’t believe this! You’re telling me to chose over my career and you, right this second? That’s so unfair!’_

_‘I guess that’s all the answer I need…’ Harry said without looking at him._

_‘How can you ask that? Why can’t you just be reasonable about this?!’_

_‘No, you said it yourself, us separating is a good thing, right?’ he said reluctantly._

_‘You’re unbelievable! But right, if you’re acting like this, maybe we are doing the right thing by breaking up. If you can’t even support me in this…’_

_‘Support you? In what? Leaving me?’_

_‘If you really think that… maybe we’ve been fooling ourselves all along. Maybe what we share isn’t love at all, just pure lust or something… now if you’ll excuse me, I have a train to catch…’_

_Louis grabbed his coat and his suitcase and started to walk towards the door, a part of him hoped that Harry would come and stop him, but he didn’t, he didn’t say anything, he just let Louis walk out of the door._

_Back in Doncaster he called him, but Harry didn’t answer. It took a week before he got a hold of him. Then Harry said he didn’t want him to call again, Louis made his decision and he didn’t want to talk about it anymore._

_Louis didn’t agree and tried calling him several times, but he never answered him again. After a while, he gave up. He focussed on the movie he auditioned for, and later he focussed on all the other parts he could get, he worked 24/7, he did anything to stop himself from thinking about Harry._


	21. Chapter 21

 21

 

2014

 

Before entering the small café Louis went to the LAMDA to use one of their bathrooms. He looked in the mirror and tried to fix his hair a bit by using his hands and some water.

 

‘I’ve looked worse…’ he thought out loud.

 ‘Important date?’ a girl who joined him in the bathroom asked.

‘Something like that…’

‘You can use my stuff if you like…’

‘Aw, thanks!’ Louis replied and used some of the girl’s hair wax to try and fix his flushed look.

He checked herself in the mirror one last time, then made his way to the café.

 

Quickly he glanced around. Just as he thought Harry wasn’t there, he saw him sitting in the darkest corner.

Slowly he walked towards him, realising Harry looked just as gorgeous as ever. A fancy bandana was wrapped around his head to maintain his everlasting curls. His hair looked longer than Louis remembered, even more beautiful perhaps.

Harry was reading the newspaper and looked up when Louis sat down at his table.

‘Lou…’ he said, surprised that he’d shown up.

‘Hi…’ Louis answered. ‘Long time no see, hey?’

 

Harry nodded.

‘How are you?’

‘Okay, you?’

‘Have been better…’

Louis didn’t know exactly what to say. He imagined this moment over and over again but now it really happened, everything was so surreal and he was lost for words.

 

‘You wanted to talk?’ Louis asked looking in Harry’s beautiful green eyes. It had been a long time since the last time he saw them looking back at him.

‘Yeah, but seeing you makes me forget what I wanted to talk about…’

 

Louis smiled. ‘I know… It’s weird isn’t it?’

‘It’s been a long time…’

‘Haz, I’m really sorry about it all. I never meant to hurt you, I want you to know that!’

‘I do know that. And I’ve been thinking back at everything, and I realise now that I was as much to blame for everything as you were, perhaps even more…’

‘No Haz… I should never had left…’

‘No, you were absolutely right when you left. I should have supported you, be proud of you… and part of me was. I just, wanted to keep you with me…’

‘Yeah, and I should’ve appreciated that more…’

 

Louis put his hand on Harry’s which made the green eyed man smile.

‘So, is that it? Now we’ve said all that… we can move on now?’ Louis asked.

‘I think so, you’re doing okay?’

‘Yes, I’m doing good.’

‘I heard you’re famous back home now…’

Louis looked surprised. ‘How do you know that?’

‘That we weren’t together anymore doesn’t mean I didn’t keep an eye on you…’ Harry smiled briefly.

‘I understand. I almost went to the concert in Manchester as well… even bought a ticket…’

‘You didn’t go?’

‘No, I was afraid you’d spot me in the audience… I saw you on youtube though, and I’m so proud of you, finally singing your own songs and stuff…’

Harry blushed.

‘Thanks…’

 

They chatted for a while until Harry’s phone rang.

‘Excuse me…’ he said and answered.

‘Hi Liam… Can I call you back later… I’m actually with Lou at the moment… Yeah, I’m okay… Sure… Bye.’

 

Louis smiled weakly.

 ‘You know what, maybe it’s time for me to go…’ he said.

‘Why?’

‘Because, I don’t want you to get into trouble…’

‘Alright, fair enough. Let me walk you home though.’

‘Okay.’

 


	22. Chapter 22

 22

 

2014

 

Louis laughed.

‘Can’t believe we are actually talking like… friends!’

‘I know, but it feels good…’

‘True, absolutely true. I’m glad you called me Haz.’

 

Harry smiled and Louis saw the spark in his eyes he’d missed for so long.

‘Thanks for walking me home.’ Louis opened the door and turned around to say goodbye.

‘Loubear? Can we be friends?’ he asked searching in Louis’ eyes for an answer.

‘I don’t know Haz. I’d like to give it a try… but maybe we should leave it like this, you know, end it nicely this time… get some closure…’

‘Yeah, perhaps… Well, bye then.’

‘Bye Haz, take care…’

‘You too…’

 

Louis leaned in and gave him a kiss on Harry’s cheek. While doing that he closed his eyes, savouring the moment in his heart.

When he pulled back Harry kept looking at him.

‘Can I kiss you one last time?’ Harry asked.

Louis was glad he asked, though surprised as well.

He nodded. ‘For closure, right?’

‘Right’ Harry answered.

 

Slowly they bowed their heads towards each other and their lips met. It was a kiss like no other they’d shared before.

It signed off everything they’d been through together. It was all so familiar though new all at the same time.

Still standing in the doorpost, Louis placed his hands on the back of Harry’s neck and pulled him closer. He deepened the kiss, and soon took control of the kiss.

 

Louis pulled away.

‘We better leave it here…’ he said, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to control himself much longer.

‘I know…’ Harry replied and leaned in to kiss Louis again. His lips brushed Louis’ as he pushed him away.

‘Haz, really…’

‘After your job’s done, you’ll go back to Doncaster right?’ Harry asked. Not knowing why he suddenly wanted to know that, Louis had to think about it for a moment.

‘Erm… yeah… why?’

‘Then we can do this, right? For closure?’

‘Do what?’ he asked and before he knew it, Harry pressed his lips against his again.

Harry pushed him down the hallway and closed the door behind him without breaking the kiss. For a moment he let go of him.

‘We can right? Just this once, as closure, we won’t see each other again, right?’

‘Right…’ Louis answered, not knowing if it was the right answer but with Harry kissing him, he couldn’t think straight.

 

‘Just this once’ Louis echoed.

He drew in a deep breath before clutching himself to Harry’s body again. Their kisses started to get hotter and wetter while they made their way through the living room, slowly towards his bedroom.

‘I only have a single bed here…’ Louis said with a husky voice.

‘I see…’ Harry replied closing the bedroom door behind them and pressing Louis up to the door. ‘I don’t care…’

‘Good…’ Louis smiled.

 

Harry began to make his way down, softly kissing Louis’ neck. Louis wrapped his legs around his waist, wanting him closer.

He began to remove Harry’s shirt and let his hands ran down his bare inked chest. It was just as he’d remembered. Harry let go of him and walked towards the bed. ‘You’re sure?’ Louis asked.

‘More than sure.’

 

Harry stroked his cheek.

‘You’re so beautiful…’

Louis smiled.

‘So are you…’

Clothes pooled on the floor while they kept kissing and caressing each other.

Harry ran his fingers through his hair and down to Louis’ shoulders.  They continued to kiss, long and deeply, and their fingertips roamed each other’s bodies, seeking out each other’s special spots. Louis moaned in his mouth.

 

When Harry finally entered him he remembered how much he’d missed him, how good this felt. Their breathing was heavy, their bodies were covered in sweat and their bodies were moving together. Neither of them wanted this moment to end.

 

Louis nuzzled his head on Harry’s chest. Harry’s hand moved in circles on his back.

‘Should we talk about this?’ Louis asked.

‘Don’t think so. We both knew what we were doing, right?’

 

They interlaced their fingers, Louis looked up and their eyes met.

‘We would never made it work, would we?’

‘I don’t know Lou, but it’s pointless looking back. And now, when you’re done here, you’ll be leaving again…’

‘I know, and besides that, you’re with somebody else now…’

‘Yeah…’

‘How is he? What does he do?’

‘You really want to know?’

‘I don’t know… maybe not. No, don’t tell me, just promise me you’ll be happy with him. You deserve to be happy!’

‘You too. Have you had like… a relationship, after me?’

 

‘It’s really weird lying naked beside you telling you about other men…’ Louis giggled.

‘So there have been other men?’ Harry said, a slight tone of jealousy in his voice.

‘Not really… nothing serious…’

‘Make sure when you find someone he’s worthy of you though…’

‘Will do!’

 

They started laughing.

‘You haven’t changed at all you know… apart from your shampoo…’ Harry said.

‘My shampoo?!’ Louis giggled once again, God Harry always made his so giddy.

‘Yeah, you’re hair smells different.’

‘I haven’t changed my shampoo, I just forgot to bring it with me so I’m using Dana’s at the moment…’

Harry smiled and placed a kiss on Louis’ forehead.

‘Good…’

 

They heard the front door open and close.

‘Louis? Did you get my text message? Did you make your choice yet?’ Dana yelled, making her way towards Louis’ bedroom.

As fast as they could, Harry and Louis got dressed. The moment Dana opened the door Harry was trying to get his boots on.

Dana was in shock.

Looking from Louis to Harry then to the unmade bed behind where they were sitting at. She looked at it with her mouth open.

Quickly she turned around and went into the living room.

 

Louis looked at Harry.

‘I think I have some explaining to do…’ he said.

‘It’s getting late, I should probably go anyways…’ Harry answered.

‘I’ll walk you out.’

They got up and walked across the living room.

‘Bye Danes’ Harry tried to sound casual but there was a weird crack in his voice.

Dana didn’t look up.

 

‘Let me know when you’re leaving again, okay?’

‘Why Haz, I thought we both agreed that this was the end…’

‘True, but I just want to know when you’ll be going home, okay? Nothing else…’

‘Alright. I’ll let you know. Now go home. Promise me you’ll take good care of yourself okay?’

‘I promise. You too!’

‘I will…’

‘And Loubear?’ Harry paused for a second.  ‘I’m really proud of you…’

He smiled. ‘Same here, Haz, same here…’

 

For the last time he pressed his lips on Harry’s and they kissed for several minutes.

When they let go Harry walked out of Dana’s house, looked back once and smiled.

Louis smiled back, then closed the door and entered the living room. He had a lot of explaining to do…


	23. Chapter 23

 23

 

2014

 

‘Hey mate, what are you doing here?’ Liam asked.

‘I really need to talk with you, do you have a sec?’

Right after leaving Louis, Harry got a cab and went to Liams, he didn’t want to go home just yet.

 

‘We were about to have supper… but do come in, you can join us if you like…’

Harry entered the house eagerly to talk to someone about what just happened.

‘Soph sweetheart, Haz needs to talk to me for a second. Is that okay?’ Liam asked his wife.

‘Of course honey. Everything alright?’

Harry nodded with a weak smile.

‘Just let me know when you two are done, then I’ll make sure dinner’s ready.’

Liam gave his wife a kiss and continued walking towards the living room. Harry followed.

 

‘What’s up? How was your chat with Louis?’

Harry smiled a big dimpled smile this time.

‘Great… absolutely great.’

 ‘So? Did you two talk things out?’

‘Yeah we did. But that’s not why I’m here…’

 

Liam frowned.

‘You’re not here to talk about Louis?’

‘I am, but not what you think…’

He looked at Liam and hoped he could tell what he meant without having to say it out loud.

‘I don’t get it…’ his friend said.

Harry sighed. ‘I hadn’t planned it, it just sort of happened.’

 

Now Liam knew what he meant.

‘You did not?!’

‘Yes we did… to end it off nicely you know…’

‘Gosh mate… now what? Are you going to tell Jeremy?’

Harry shook his head.

‘No, it won’t happen again, after all Lou is going back to Doncaster soon…’

 

‘That sounds really awkward Haz. Basically you’re saying that if he would stay, it _could_ happen again…’

‘I didn’t mean that… I think… No, that’s definitely not what I meant! We both agreed that this would be the last time, to really end things. But I feel a bit…’

‘Guilty?’ Liam looked questioned at his friend.

 

‘No, that’s the problem. I don’t feel guilty at all. More the opposite. It felt so good…’

This time it was Liam who shook his head.

‘Mate, what did you get yourself in to?’

 

‘Nothing! Really, it’s nothing. Jeremy doesn’t have to know, right? Lou is going back soon and I’m not going to see him again so there’s absolutely no reason for me to bring this up…’

‘Are you sure? ‘Cause he’s not stupid you know. I reckon Jeremy already knows that there’s something going on with you…’

‘I’ll give him an explanation!’ Harry looked convinced that he made the right decision.

 

‘I don’t know Haz. If you say everything will be alright, then I’ll take your word for it…’

‘Thanks Liam. Thanks for letting me get this all of my chest!’

‘That’s fine. I’m here for you, just know what you’re doing…’

Harry nodded and stood up to give his friend a hug.

Harry took off after saying goodbye to Sophia and the kids and made his way home.

 

There he found Jeremy already waiting for him.

‘Hi…’ he said as normal as possible and leaned in to give his boyfriend a kiss.

Jeremy turned his head away and gave him a stern look.

Harry sighed, he knew he had some explaining to do.

He threw his coat of and sat down across the table where his boyfriend was sitting at.

 

‘Where were you?’ Jeremy asked and looked him straight in the eye.

‘I was at Liam’s…’ he answered.

It was true, but not the whole truth.

‘The entire day?’ Jeremy asked and frowned.

Harry swallowed. ‘No, not the entire day no…’

 

Once again Harry sighed and looked at him.

‘Listen Jer, there was something I needed to do. Some business I needed to take care of. But it’s all done now…’

‘Oh. I see, and I should be satisfied with that answer?’

‘That would be nice, yeah…’

‘Harry. Look… I know it’s about another man, right?’

 

His eyes widened.

‘I don’t know what to say Jer…’

‘Are you having an affair?’ Jeremy asked.

 ‘No, no. It’s nothing like that. You have to believe that!’

‘Then what is it Haz?!’

‘Alright, alright! My ex turned up in London and we needed to talk things out as we left things real bad. But we’ve talked and now he’s going back home so there’s nothing you should be worried about, I’m all yours!’


	24. Chapter 24

 24

 

2014

 

The next day Louis went to the set early. He’d left before Dana had woken up. He didn’t want to have another conversation with her, better said: he didn’t want to fight.

To his surprise, he wasn’t the only early bird.

 

‘Hey you! You’re early!’

Jeremy looked up.

‘What’s wrong? You look horrible!’

‘Well, thanks!’

 

Louis sat beside his colleague.

‘Something tells me that the conversation with your boyfriend yesterday didn’t go all too well…’

Jeremy looked at him and nodded.

‘You want to tell me about it? Brother to brother?’ Louis smiled at him, trying to make him feel a bit better.

‘Basically my boyfriend told me he’s been having contact with his ex…’

‘You’re kidding me! What kind of contact?’

‘He says I’ve got nothing to worry about, but he won’t give me any further details… I don’t know what to do…’

 

‘I’m so sorry sweetie. Do you trust him?’

Jeremy shrugged his shoulders.

‘I guess, but it’s hard, he won’t tell me anything, like he’s hiding something. I didn’t even know about this guys existence  before all this. And I’ve found a shirt of his with another man’s perfume on it…’

‘I don’t know what to say mate. I’m not really in a position to judge him, I don’t know him and besides that, with what I’ve done recently… who am I to say anything?’

 

Jeremy looked up at him with big eyes.

‘What have you done?!’

Louis smiled.

‘You know that guy I told you about…’

‘Yeah, the one you love, right?’

He nodded.

‘We sort of… you know… yesterday…’

‘WHAT?! Oh my gosh, tell me all about it!’

Louis began to laugh.

‘I don’t want to bother you with it, you’ve got a lot on your plate as it is and…’

‘Stop it! I want you to tell me, it might cheer me up!’

‘Okay then, you’ve asked for it! He called me yesterday, that I was right, that we needed to talk things out so we met and talked.’

‘And then what happened?’

‘Then he walked me home, where we started kissing. And then we just couldn’t stop…’

Jeremy laughed. ‘And?’

‘And what?’ Louis asked.

‘How was it? Just like you remembered?’

A big grin reappeared on Louis’ face.

‘Better…’

‘Wow… that’s what I call some good news! So what now, are you two back together?’

 

Louis shook his head.

‘No, we decided we shouldn’t be seeing each other anymore. He’s moved on with someone else remember…’

‘Oh, I see, I forgot about that. That’s why you said you weren’t in a position to judge my man… Though I think it’s a different situation. Not that I think what you did was absolutely right or something, cheating is cheating. But you two love each other, so it’s different…’

‘Yeah perhaps it is different. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get over him you know? A part of me can’t wait to go back home, to get some distance…’

 

For the next two weeks, both Louis and Harry did everything they could to stop thinking about each other.

Harry tried to spent every single free minute with Jeremy, to proof to him that he wasn’t cheating on him. It took a while, but Jeremy was beginning to trust him again.

Though Harry liked being around him, he couldn’t help but think about Louis, he constantly thought about what he could be doing, and a part of him hoped they would ran in to each other on the street. But they didn’t and he had to accept the choice he’d made.

 

‘Can’t you stay a bit longer?’ Dana asked.

‘I thought you wanted me to leave…’

‘I was just a bit upset. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want you here…’

Louis smiled at her friend.

‘I know, but it’s better for me to go home.’

‘Do know that I wasn’t mad at you, I was just worried, I don’t want you to get hurt again…’

She gave her friend a warm hug.

‘I know, I know… I guess part of me will always feel a bit empty without him, but I’ll find love again, right?’

‘Right you are! Call me when you’re coming over for the premiere, you must promise me you’ll come here instead of a luxurious hotel, okay?’

They both smiled.

‘I promise. Now, give me a cuddle!’

The friends hugged and kissed each other on the cheek.

‘I’ll call you when I’m home!’

Louis grabbed his suitcase and made his way to the cab.

 

When he settled himself in the cab, he ordered him to go to Harry’s house instead of the airport.

Harry’d told Louis he wanted to know when he was leaving, and Louis thought, as this would be the last time he’d ever speak to him, he should do it in person.

 

The car stopped and he got out. The cabdriver got his suitcase out of the trunk and drove off.

Louis stood in front of the door about to ring the bell, thinking about the last time he’d done that. Just when he reached out to the doorbell, he suddenly realised that for all he knew, Harry’s current girlfriend could be home.

 

So instead of ringing the doorbell, he searched in his backpack for his mobile phone and dialled Harry’s number.

‘Hello?’

 ‘Harry? It’s me, Louis. Are you home?’

‘Yeah, why?’

‘Are you alone or is your boyfriend there too?’

‘Alone, why, what’s up?’

‘In that case, could you open the front door?’

 

He hang up and waited for the door the open. When it did a surprised Harry stood in front of her.

‘Lou, what are you doing…’

Then he saw his luggage and looked at him again.

‘Are you leaving?’

‘It’s time for me to head home…’ Louis spoke softly. ‘I wanted to say goodbye in person.’

 

Harry smiled.

‘Do you have to go right away, or can you come in for a sec?’

Louis smiled right back at him.

‘I have some time…’

Harry grabbed his suitcase and put it in the hallway while Louis made his way to the living room. Everything was in exactly the same place.

 

‘Can I get you anything?’ Harry asked.

‘No, I’m fine…’

There was an awkward tension between the two of them.

‘I’ve thought about you a lot…’ Harry said while walking over towards him.

‘Me too, but that’s ending today!’

‘Why? Because you’re leaving? Sure, maybe that will make everything easier, but maybe it won’t…’ Harry put his hands on Louis’ hips.

‘It will. I mean, if we won’t see each other ever again, we have to forget about us… I’ll just have to do some serious man hunting as soon as I get home!’

 

Louis laughed but Harry didn’t, he let his hands fall down his side and gave Louis an angry look.

‘What’s wrong? That was just a joke…’

‘I know. But I don’t like the thought of another man having his hands on you…’

Louis looked a bit surprised.

‘Excuse me for saying this Haz. But you can’t expect me to stay single forever just because we can’t be together, and for the record: you’re the one who’s moved on… not me!’

 

When he didn’t get a response he walked towards the door again.

‘Goodbye Harry, I meant what I said before, I wish you nothing but the best…’

Before he could get his hands on his luggage Harry began to talk.

 

‘Don’t you dare leave like this again!’

Louis turned around and looked him in the eye.

‘Like what?’

‘I don’t know… angry, bitter, whatever!’

Harry looked hurt.

‘Listen Haz. I’m not angry, I’m not. You’ve moved on and I’m not going to pretend that it doesn’t hurt, but I need to disregard this will I ever be able to move on!’

 

Harry grabbed his waist and pulled him in a hug. They stood there for several minutes before Harry let him go. Louis brought his hand to Harry’s face and touched his cheek.

‘Bye Haz… I love you.’

 

Harry’s lips curled into a smile.

‘I love…’

Louis placed his index finger to his lips.

‘Don’t say it back, please…’

Harry looked confused.

‘Don’t make this any harder, okay?’

Harry understood though he shook his head.

‘But I need you to know…’ Harry said soft.

‘I _do_ know!’

‘Really?’ He said taking yet another step towards Louis, and Louis felt the warmth of his body against his.

 

‘Do you really know?’ Harry asked once again.

Louis had trouble breathing standing so close to him and nodded quickly.

‘I don’t think you do…’

He cupped his face in his big hands and placed a kiss on Louis’ forehead.

Louis loved the feel of his lips brush against his skin. He placed his hands on Harry’s  chest and felt his heart beat.

He looked up and their eyes met again. Harry’s tongue darted out to wet his lips before he leaned in to kiss him. They stood there for minutes, their tongues tangling.

 

Harry slowly ended the kiss. Smiling he touched Louis’ cheek and rubbed his thumb over Louis’ wet lips.

‘Now you know…’ he said softly.

‘I’ve got a plane to catch.’

‘I know, you’d better go then. Bye Loubear…’

‘Bye…’

Louis grabbed his suitcase and walked out the door without looking back.

This goodbye was for good…


	25. Chapter 25

 25

 

2014

 

Home.

Strangely enough, although he was back in Doncaster, he didn’t feel _home_ at all.

He’d called Dana to tell her he got home safely, but neglected to tell about his little interference with Harry. She wouldn’t understand and the last thing Louis wanted was to fight about a man with his friend.

 

Louis sat down on the couch and turned on the television. He flicked through the channels when he recognised something and watched. It was ‘Mozart & the Whale’ one of his all time favourites.

For a moment he stared at the screen, then he closed his eyes and dreamt off to the last time he saw this movie.

 

_2011_

_They lay on the couch, legs entwined, arms around each other’s waists._

_‘You really want to watch this movie?’_

_Harry asked while kissing his neck._

_‘I can think of a million other things that we could be doing right now…’_

_‘A million?!’ Louis looked at him and raised his eyebrows._

_‘Alright maybe that’s a bit too much…’_

_‘I’d think so yes. And we are watching this movie. It’s such a good film, and the actors aren’t bad to look at too…’_

_‘Should I be jealous now?’_

_‘No you’ve got no reason to be jealous at all, though I must say that I absolutely love listening to Josh Hartnett’s voice. It’s so gorgeous and deep…’_

_Harry began to tickle him._

_‘You’re trying to make me jealous don’t you?’_

_‘Stop! Please…’ Louis giggled. Harry continued tickling him and he laughed so loud, it got hard for him to breathe._

_‘Please… have mercy…’ Harry let go of him for a moment._

_When Louis got his breath back he turned his head to look at Harry._

_‘I just said I loved his voice… I love yours more, yours gives me butterflies…’_

_Harry smiled cheekily._

_‘Is that so… always?’_

_Louis sighed._

_‘Duh…’_

_‘Really? It doesn’t make any difference what I’m saying?’_

_Louis shook his head lightly while the movie kept playing in the background._

_‘We need to do some groceries…’ Harry said._

_‘Excuse me?’ Louis answered._

_‘Did that gave you butterflies?’ Harry said while laughing._

_‘You’re making fun of me! But yes, like I said, you always give me butterflies!’_

_‘So if I do this, it won’t make a difference?’_

_Harry bowed forwards and whispered in his ear._

_‘I want you really bad… right this minute…’_

_Harry said in a husky voice. Louis closed his eyes and let out a gasp of air._

_‘How’s that?’ Harry asked in a normal voice again._

_‘Erm… yeah well, that gave me butterflies as well… throughout my whole body…’_

_‘Where?’_

_Harry grabbed his hand and kissed his palm._

_‘Did it gave you butterflies here?’_

_He licked at Louis’ fingers._

_Louis cleared his throat._

_‘Yep. Absolutely…’_

_Harry moved on the couch and crawled on top of him. He started kissing Louis’ collarbone. ‘What about here?’ He mumbled against Louis’ skin._

_Louis felt shivers going up and down his spine._

_‘Uh-huh… there too…’_

_He tried to concentrate but lost all focus when Harry began to unbutton his blouse._

_‘We were watching a movie…’_

_‘Not anymore…’ Harry replied and started to make his way down._

_Louis felt Harry’s soft lips against his bare skin. Harry started kissing him around his bellybutton, Harry knew oh so well what that did to Louis and he started to squirm below Harry._

_While Harry made his way up again, he got rid of Louis shirt completely. Softly kissing his chest, hands roaming his entire upper body._

_When their lips met again, they kissed each other with hunger._

_As fast as he could, Louis tried to pull Harry’s shirt up, desperate to feel his skin onto his own._

_They had to break off the kiss for a moment to get the shirt off, but after that they started kissing again._

_Their fingers reached out to each other’s jeans and tried to unbutton them, not wanting to interrupt the kiss again._

_Harry’s hands were roaming wildly over Louis’ body. Louis lifted his hips up a bit, so it was easier for Harry to pull his jeans down. After removing his jeans, he quickly removed his own._

_Once Harry lay on top of him again, Louis could feel the heat of his excitement through the soft cotton of their underwear. Louis began to moan inside his mouth. He reached down and softly squeezed Harry’s bum._

_Harry responded by smothering his mouth with his own, biting and tonguing his lips teasingly. Harry let one hand reach down and touched Louis through his boxers._

_Louis let out a soft yell which made him smile._

_Louis wrapped his legs around his waist while Harry slowly began to rock his hips._

_They almost lost their balance and had to grab the arm of the couch to stay on it._

_Harry raised himself up to catch his breath and looked at Louis._

_‘Don’t stop…’ Louis said breathlessly._

_Harry lifted himself off the couch and left Louis with his mouth gaping._

_‘H-Haz?’ he said panting._

_Louis stood up and moved to wrap his arms around Harry’s waist._

_‘We need more room…’ Harry whispered in his ear. He licked Louis’ earlobe and pulled it gently with his teeth. Louis got week in the knees and had to hold on to him not to fall down._

_Harry lifted him up as if he weight nothing and carried him to the bedroom._

_They let themselves fall onto the bed._

_‘That’s better…’ Harry said. ‘Much better…’_

_It didn’t take long before their underwear ended up on the ground and they finally made love._

_It took them several minutes to come back to reality and to get their breathing back to normality. Louis raised his head and rested his chin on Harry’s chest._

_‘Do you still think we should’ve finished the movie?’ Harry said with a cheeky grin on his face._

_Softly Louis shook his head._

_‘We will watch it some other time…’_

_‘I don’t think so!’_

_Louis looked surprised._

_‘And why not?’_

_Harry laughed._

_‘Haven’t you listened to what I said before? There are a million other things we could do, remember?’_

_Louis laughed along._

_‘Indeed I forgot, you make my mind all blurry! But in that case… maybe we should eat something and get our strength back!’_

 

 


	26. Chapter 26

 26

 

2014

 

The night Louis left, Harry had trouble sleeping again. He was doubting whether or not he’d made the right decision to stay with Jeremy.

When he walked in the studio the following morning he decided to throw it in the group.

 

‘Look, you’ve made your decision and you can’t turn it back mate. Louis is back home and you’re still with Jeremy, right?’ Zayn asked.

‘Right…’ Harry answered.

‘What exactly is it what you’re doubting about?’ Niall continued.

‘About letting Louis go, or staying with Jeremy? Maybe you should think about whether you want to stay with Jer or not…’

 

Desperately he shook his head.

‘I _do_ want to stay with Jer. But I’m afraid I want to stay with him for the wrong reasons…’

Liam looked up.

‘You mean because basically he’s your second choice…’

‘Something like that. I mean it’s not that I don’t care for him, I do, a lot. But it’s nothing compared with how I feel for Lou…’

 

‘Then why did you let Louis go?’ Zayn looked as confused as Harry, he tried to understand his friend, but right now, he wasn’t making any sense at all.

They talked some more but none of the advice the guys gave him helped Harry.

He just couldn’t think straight anymore and decided to take the rest of the day off and went back home.

Jeremy wasn’t there, he had another audition yet again.

There he sat, thinking about it all. He finally decided to send Louis a text message.

 

Louis tried to concentrate on the movie he was watching but memories kept filling his head.

When he heard his phone, it was a welcome distraction. That was, until he saw the message.

“If I hadn’t moved on, would you’ve stayed this time?”

That was it.  No name, no nothing. But he knew all too well who it came from, even if he hadn’t recognised the number, which obviously he did, he would have known.

 

He didn’t know what to do. What did he expect him to answer?

If he’d say  “no” he knew he’d hurt him and he didn’t want that, but if he’d say  “yes” would that do either of them any good?

Harry was with somebody else now, they couldn’t just ignore that fact. What if he’d say “yes” , and he’d break up with his current boyfriend for him, and Louis came over to London again… It probably wouldn’t be long before another offer would come from Doncaster or any other place in the world and then he had to go leave him again and they would be in the exact same position they had been before.

 

There was always the option to not reply at all. But Louis didn’t want to do that either, as that would be like saying “no” and would hurt him just as bad.

He thought a little longer and texted back.

“You know the answer…”

He’d just send the message or his phone rang. Again, he didn’t want to answer…

 

‘You shouldn’t be calling me…’ he said while answering his phone.

‘I  know but I’m just so confused, please let me talk to you!’

Louis heard the desperation in his voice and couldn’t hang up.

‘Haz, listen up okay? There’s absolutely no point in looking back, asking ourselves what if? As we both know that doesn’t change a thing.’

‘I guess I’m just scared that letting you go again was a mistake…’

‘It wasn’t, really. I would’ve gone back home either way which would have left us with the same problem we had in the first place.’

‘Yeah… you’re probably right…’

‘I’m always right!’ Louis laughed, trying to lighten up the conversation.

‘I hope that’s true’ Harry answered.

 Louis inhaled a deep breath before continuing.

‘Listen Haz. I think it’s better for the both of us if, at least for a while, we wouldn’t have any contact…’

‘Why?’

‘You know damn well why Haz! You should focus on the band, your boyfriend… anything! If you keep calling me… Well, let’s just say that we both agreed to move on…’

‘I know, but I can’t help but wondering…’

‘Harry don’t, please. You shouldn’t do that, I’m not…’

 

That was a lie. He thought about it all the time. But Louis knew that if he told Harry that, he wouldn’t be able to move on, and Louis didn’t want to ruin his new relationship.

He wanted Harry to be happy, and though he knew saying all this hurt him, eventually he would be happy and that was all that mattered to him.

 

‘You don’t?’ Harry asked and he heard the sadness in his voice.

‘No I don’t. ‘Cause it’s pointless really. You need to let this go. Be happy with your boyfriend. You love him, right?’

‘Sure, but not like you…’

‘No love is the same Haz. Maybe it’ll be better, maybe not… But the point is, I’m sure he’ll never hurt you the way I did, and he loves you. And love is all we need in the end, isn’t it?’

‘I guess, but…’

‘No buts Haz. You’re going to be happy and all, and after a while, who knows? We might be able to be friends, that’s if you haven’t forgotten all about me by then…’

He could hear Harry swallow.

‘I’ll never forget you Loubear. Never!’

 

It went quite for a while.

‘So, now is really goodbye then?’ Harry said softly.

‘I guess it is. Bye Haz, promise me you’ll be happy…’

 

Again it went quite, as if Harry had to think about an answer.

‘I promise…’

‘Good… and for what it’s worth; all the hurt we’ve caused each other, for me, I wouldn’t have wanted to miss any second of it. I would do it all again in a heartbeat!’

 

Though he couldn’t see him, he knew Harry was smiling.

‘Bye Lou…’

‘Bye Haz…’

‘Take Care!’

Then they hang up and for the first time, he didn’t cry.

It was all good now.

Harry was going to be happy and that was all he’d ever really wanted.

 

 


	27. Chapter 27

 27

 

2014

 

A month had passed by, and they hadn’t had any contact at all.

Harry sat on his bed with his guitar in his hands, trying to come up with a new melody but he kept on playing the same old tune over and over again.

It was going to be one of the new songs on the album, and though he was proud that his song made it to the best ones they’d written all together, a part of him didn’t want to hear it again. He’d made a deal with himself to get over Louis.

He’d given himself until New Years. That was a month from now and he’d promised himself to start the new year totally fresh and positive.

And yet here he was, sitting on his bed, playing the song he wrote for him…

 

_2011_

 

_‘I like that…’ Louis stood in the doorpost, watching Harry play the guitar. He found it incredibly sexy to see him making music. Harry had this focused look, his tongue darted out every now and then…_

_‘Aren’t you coming in?’ Harry asked._

_‘I don’t want to distract you…’_

_‘You already have, so come in and sit down, let me play the whole thing to you!’_

_Louis sat down on the far end of the bed and Harry began to play._

_He loved it. When Harry was finished he smiled at him._

_‘It’s beautiful…’_

_‘It’s for you’ Harry replied._

_‘Really? That’s so sweet of you…It’s really good. Maybe you guys can put some lyrics to it and put it on the new record!’_

_Harry smiled back at him._

_‘I don’t know if it’s that good Loubear…’_

_‘It is! Only I reckon if you guys want to sing along to it, you should begin with an F#...’_

_Harry smirked._

_‘What?’ Louis asked._

_‘I didn’t realise you knew that much about music…’_

_‘Really? I told you I played the piano, didn’t I?’_

_‘Yeah you did, but I just never thought… well, never mind, I’ll give it a shot!’_

_Harry started to play again, starting with an F# just like Louis told him to._

_Louis started to hum a melody over it, and Harry had to be honest with himself; it sounded pretty good._

_‘Let’s do that again!’ he said, grabbing his laptop to record it._

_‘I’m going to send it to the lads right away!’_

_It wasn’t long before his cell rang. It was Liam to tell him it sounded really good, and that he was already working on the lyrics._

_Harry felt extremely proud._

_‘I told you it was good!’_

_Louis had a big smile on his face._

_‘Yeah, you did! You give me so much self-confidence…’_

_Louis crawled over to Harry’s side of the bed and gave him a peck on the lips._

_‘Good, ‘cause you’re more talented then you realise, and it’s about time you let the world know that!’_

‘How are you doing in here?’

Harry woke up from his memory and looked at Jeremy who’d entered the room.

‘Alright… you?’

‘Doing good. I just got a call from Sam Breckett…’

‘Who?’ Harry tried to concentrate but his mind kept wondering off.

‘You know, the director of the last movie I did, does that ring a bell?’

‘Of course…’ he shook his head.

‘I’m sorry, I was a bit distracted…’

‘I can tell… Anyways, he called me to let me know that the trailer will be on telly tonight for the first time. And… he also told me the great news, that we will have this gigantic premiere party! It will be on the 28th and I wanted to ask you if you would like to join me… you know, as my partner…’

Harry looked at him and smiled.

‘Sure, that’ll be fun!’

‘Are you positive? ‘Cause I know you wanted to see your family during the holidays…’

‘Well, I’ll just drive back and forwards. It’s a big night for you, so I’ll be there!’

 

Jeremy walked towards him and gave him a long kiss.

‘Thank you so much. I know we’ve had a bit of a rough time, but I just know that everything will be okay from now on!’

 


	28. Chapter 28

 28

 

2014

 

Louis sat behind his desk, reading all his emails.

He had an email from Sam Breckett, about the premiere and he added the trailer.

It looked amazing and he was extremely proud of the result.

There were going to be posters with her and Julia on it.

On the posters it even said: ‘introducing Louis Tomlinson’

 

He’d thought about it for a while now, and decided that perhaps he should let Harry know about all of it. As his face was going to be everywhere, he might needed to prepare himself, or something.

But he didn’t want to ruin his holidays. After all, they hadn’t had any contact after their last phone call…

And he knew how much Harry liked spending time with his family during the holidays, it was something he always looked forward too, and who was he to mess everything up once again?!

 

_2011_

_Christmas was coming and as Harry planned on taking Louis with him to his family, there was no decoration whatsoever in his house._

_He looked at Louis who sat at the table, trying to wrap all the gifts in the best way possible. He clearly wanted to make an impression and Harry knew he was nervous about meeting all his relatives._

_He snuck up behind him, put his hands on his waist and squeezed. Louis jumped of his chair and would have fallen on the ground if Harry hadn’t caught him._

_‘Want to take a break?’_

_Louis leaned back and looked over his shoulder. Harry had the urge to kiss him in the worst possible way, but was able to control himself._

_‘Sure…’ Louis said, standing up, letting go of his grip._

_‘What did you have in mind?’ Louis smirked, knowing all too well what Harry wanted._

_Harry pulled him close and they wrapped their arms around each other’s waists._

_‘Tomorrow, we’ll be going to my family and I don’t think I’ll be able to do this with everyone watching so I thought I’d do it now…’_

_‘Do what?’ Louis asked._

_Harry crushed him into his chest and started to kiss him with such longing, that Louis was completely out of breath._

_The overwhelming love Harry felt for Louis scared him in a sense, but he wanted to do anything to make him feel the same._

_They stood there for minutes, their tongues tangling and thrusting._

_He eased up on the kiss, whispering against Louis’ lips,_

_‘You’re so… beautiful…and sexy.’_

_Smiling, Louis touched his cheek and rubbed his thumb over Harry’s wet lips._

_‘I love you… and spending my birthday and Christmas with your family… it makes me feel so wanted, it makes me feel like I finally belong somewhere…’_

_‘You belong with me…’ Harry answered, planting yet another kiss on his lips._

_Louis leaned over and breathed into his ear, the tip of his tongue sneaking out to lick Harry’s lobe._

_‘Good… now are you going to let me get back to the gift-wrapping? Or did you have more plans then just kissing me?’_

_‘Actually…’ Harry let him  go and grabbed a plastic bag off of the floor._

_He got out what he was searching for and held it in the air._

_‘What’s that?’ Louis asked._

_‘A mistletoe!’_

_‘A mistletoe?’_

_‘Yeah, it’s Christmas right?’_

_Louis looked surprised._

_‘I thought you didn’t want to have any decoration…’_

_‘True, but any excuse to kiss you is a good one for me!’_

_They both laughed._

_‘Is that so?’_

_Louis walked towards him and kissed his soft lips while Harry held his hand up in the air, the mistletoe dangling above their heads._

_Slowly the kisses started to deepen, and just as Harry dropped the mistletoe to get his hands on Louis’ body, the doorbell rang._

_‘Damn…’ he said softly while breaking away from the kiss and walking towards the door._

_‘Whoever it is, tell them to go away…’_

_Louis waited in the living room while Harry answered the door._

_When he came back, he wasn’t alone. Louis gave him a ‘I thought I’d tell you to not let anyone in’ kind of look._

_‘Lou, this is Gemma, my sister… Gems, this is Louis…’_

_Louis’ mouth fell open and nerves took over._

_‘Erm… hi! Nice to meet you…’_

_Gemma held out her hand and he politely took it._

_‘Nice to meet you too.’_

_’What brings you by sis?’ Harry asked._

_‘I wanted to ask what time you’re going home tomorrow, thought maybe we could all go together…’_

_Louis bit his lip, more alone time was about to be taken away from them._

_‘We don’t know yet, let me call you about that, alright?’_

_‘Sure, no problem.’_

_‘Was there anything else, ‘cause we were actually kind of busy…’_

_Gemma raised her eyebrows._

_‘Busy? Right, I don’t want to know…’_

_‘Wrapping… Gifts, you know Christmas…’ Louis stuttered._

_Harry’s sister laughed._

_‘Right… don’t explain, it’s your privilege not to tell, and like I said, I don’t want to know! I see you guys tomorrow then, don’t forget to call me!’_

_As soon as Gemma left Louis let himself fall down on the couch._

_‘Did you hear me say all those stupid things… gosh I made a good impression… and this is only the start…’_

_Harry laughed and sat beside him._

_‘She liked you, I’m sure. And don’t you worry about my family, they will all love you just as much as I do! Now let’s get back to what we were doing before he showed up…’_

Louis pushed the memories away and grabbed his phone. He called Dana and asked her what to do.

‘Nothing sweetie. He’ll find out about the movie all by himself, and who knows? Maybe he can handle it perfectly. If you call him on the other hand, that will make everything more difficult…’

‘You’re right…’

‘As always!’ Dana laughed.

‘Hey, but enough about Haz. Have you got a date for the premiere?’

‘A date? Of course not… you know that…’

‘So you’ll take me?’

Louis started laughed out loud.

‘Ah… now I see why you’re asking!’

‘Well, come on… you owe me, for everything I had to put up with…’

‘Alright, alright, you can be my date, just don’t expect me to kiss you!’

 

 

 

 


	29. Chapter 29

 29

 

2014

 

They sat on the couch with their plates on their laps, eating in front of the television. That was something Harry normally never did, he liked to take the time to have a proper meal, but as the trailer was about to come on TV, this was the best solution.

Jeremy looked nervous and as soon as the news ended he turned up the volume, awaiting for the trailer to start.

 

‘I’m probably not even in it…’ he mumbled.

Harry took another bite and nearly chocked when the trailer started and he saw no one other then Louis.

‘Are you okay?’ Jeremy patted him on the back. His eyes widened and kept looking at the screen.

‘Oh look, there I am!’ he said enthusiastic.

Harry, still recovering from what he just saw, didn’t know what to say or do. While watching the trailer, a thousand different thoughts ran through his mind.

‘That’s is… what did you think?’ Jeremy looked at him but he didn’t react.

‘Harry? Are you okay?’

‘What?’ Harry asked confused.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing. Nice one Jer, really!’

‘Are you sure you’re okay?’

‘Yes I am.’

‘Good. Oh, I loved that… Can’t wait to go to the premiere…’

 

Harry nearly chocked again.

‘Premiere’ he thought, he couldn’t go. How was he going to explain that to Jeremy?

‘I need to make a call…’ he said and stood up to leave the room.

Jeremy didn’t notice, he was already on the phone talking to his mum, exciting about the movie.

 

Harry went into the bedroom and closed the door, to make sure Jeremy wouldn’t overhear him and started to dial Liams number.

‘Hi Haz, what’s up?’

‘Li, mate, I’m in trouble…’

‘Oh dear, what did you do? Did you tell Jer?’

‘No, no, nothing like that. See, I’ve just found out that the movie Lou was doing here, is the exact same as the one Jer was doing…’

‘What?’

‘They’re both in the same movie… They’re brothers for heaven’s sake!’

Liam laughed.

‘This isn’t funny Liam!’

‘I know Haz, I know… but it kind of is… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be laughing. But you’ve got yourself in this mess, now I don’t know what you expect from me…’

‘I need an excuse to skip the premiere…’

 

Harry walked nervously around in his bedroom.

‘What do you want me to do mate?’

‘I don’t know… can’t we do some stupid television show or something?’

‘Harry, listen, as much as I would like to help you, you have to deal with this sooner or later…. Sooner rather than later…’

 

He sighed, he knew Liam was right.

‘Do you think I should call Lou? Let him know that I’m coming to the premiere?’

‘That’s up to you mate. I can’t tell you what to do…’

Harry hang up and sat down at his bedside.

There was a knock on the door and Jeremy entered the room.

 

‘You don’t look alright to me… so tell me, what’s going on here?’


	30. Chapter 30

 31

 

2014

 

‘I loved the trailer! You look absolutely stunning on film!’

‘Thanks Danes…’

‘So, what are you doing with the holidays and your birthday? Are you going to your family?’

‘No, after all that’s happened, I decided to spent Christmas by myself…’

‘Absolutely not you are! Come back to London, spent Christmas here, with me…You can’t be alone on Christmas. It’s not just Christmas hun, it’s your birthday for heaven’s sake!’

 

Louis sighed.

‘I don’t know Danes…’

‘But I do! You should be having fun, that’s the best way to get over everything! Come on… I bet you haven’t bought yourself a suit for the premiere yet…’

He smiled briefly.

‘No I haven’t.’

‘See! Just come on over, you know my family, we just eat loads and party all night! You can stay with me and right after Christmas, we’ll do some shopping!’

‘Let me think about it, okay?’

‘Alright…’

It went quite on the other line.

‘Are you still there Danes?’

‘Sure, I’m letting you think!’ She answered laughing.

‘You’re not giving me a choice now, are you?’

‘Erm… let me think about that for a second…’

Again it went quite.

‘NO!’ she yelled.

Louis started laughing.

‘Alright then. Let me see if I can change my flight and I’ll be there…’

‘Wahey!’ Louis could hear the excitement in his friends voice. Maybe this was indeed what he needed to get his mind off of Harry.

 

Back in Harry’s apartment, he tried his best to convince his boyfriend that everything was alright, but Jeremy didn’t believe him one bit.

‘You’ve been acting strange for a while now. First I thought it was your ex, but he’s gone now, so that’s not it. So what is it Haz? If you want us to work, you should be able to tell me…’

Harry sighed deeply. He didn’t know what to say, he couldn’t tell Jeremy the truth, he just couldn’t… But he needed to tell him something that would satisfy him so he would stop nagging Harry about it.

He thought for a while, sighed again, then looked up.

 

‘Seeing that trailer made me realise something…’

‘What?’ Jeremy sat down beside him.

‘I just saw the man I wanted to get old with, have a family with… but that’s not going to happen...’

‘Oh… Haz! Why didn’t you say so?! And why is that not going to happen? I’d love to start a family with you… Why didn’t you say something?’

Harry hadn’t meant it like that, he was talking about Louis, but he took the easy way out and let Jeremy believe it was about him.

‘I guess I thought you didn’t want to as you’re busy with your career and all…’

Jeremy gave him a kiss on his cheek.

‘I do, I do, I do…’ he said softly while kissing his face. He let it be.

What was the point in arguing, after all, he’d never be with Louis, and he _was_ going to be with Jer…


	31. Chapter 31

 31

 

2014

 

‘Merry Christmas and a very happy birthday!’ Dana opened the door with a silly Christmas hat on her head.

Louis laughed loudly when he saw his friend jumping around.

‘What’s next? Are you going to sing Christmas Carols on the street corner?’

‘Don’t tempt me!’

It all became one of the best holidays Louis had ever had.

Never had he imagined that he was able to let himself go and have a good time. He did think of Harry, all the time to be fair, but never did it stop him from feeling good.

It was as if he was finally able to let him go.

 

Harry on the other hand, cancelled his Christmas party with his family. He told Jeremy he didn’t want to go anymore as he wanted to spent more time with him, but the truth was, it all reminded him a bit too much of last year, when he celebrated Christmas with Louis and his family…

 

_2011_

 

_‘Alone at last…’ Louis said, he let himself fall down on the bed._

_‘Complaining?’ Harry fell down beside him._

_‘No, absolutely not! I love your family, they’re all great, the way they just took me in… unbelievable and I really had a great birthday and Christmas, but I hated that we hadn’t any alone time at all…’_

_Harry started to giggle._

_‘What?’ Louis said annoyed._

_‘You’re so cute when you say things like that!’_

_He let his fingertips go round in circles all over Louis’ stomach._

_‘Stop that!’ Louis started to laugh as his touch tickled him._

_‘Why should I? We’re are alone now, aren’t we?’_

_‘Yes, but we are in your sister’s house…’_

_‘I thought you missed the alone time…’_

_Harry started to kiss Louis’ neck._

_‘Stop it, I mean it… we’re guests here, and Gemma could come in…’_

_‘I know my sister, she wouldn’t come in without a knock…’_

_Harry continued what he was doing. Louis pushed him away and sat up._

_‘I still don’t feel comfortable with the thought of her being in the room next to us…’_

_Harry smiled, stood up and locked the door._

_‘Better?’_

_He sat down beside Louis again and pressed his lips against Louis’._

_Louis let out a soft moan then pushed him away again._

_‘We can’t do this…’_

_‘I know you… and you’re going to cave in… so stop arguing…’_

_Harry pressed his lips on to his again. He made his way down to his neck and Louis drew in a breath. Harry was right, he was caving in already._

_‘You’re just to gorgeous to resist…’ Louis said smiling._

_Harry looked up and gave him a quick peck on the lips._

_They heard footsteps on the hall and looked at the door._

_False alarm._

_‘You know what?’ Harry said._

_‘What?’_

_‘If you don’t want my sister to know, you better keep quite... as you just heard, you can hear every little sound in this place…’_

_Louis started to laugh._

_‘Then we really have to stop right now!’_

_‘Don’t HAVE to…’_

_Harry started to kiss him again. Slowly he took Louis’ shirt off._

_Louis let out another moan._

_‘Shhhh…’ Harry said. He placed his index finger to his lips._

_‘Sorry…’ Louis mumbled against his finger._

_While they continued and tried to get each other’s clothes off, the bed underneath them squeaked. Harry laughed and whispered in his ear._

_‘This might not be the best idea we’ve ever had…’_

_‘It is… you just have to use your imagination a bit more…’_

_Louis got up and started to throw the pillows and the blanket on the floor._

_‘Now who’s the smart one?’ Louis asked with a cheeky grin on his face._

_Harry looked at him adoringly._

_‘You Loubear… definitely you!’_

_He joined him on the floor and there they made love as quite as they possibly could._

 

 

 


	32. Chapter 32

 32

 

2014

 

‘Are you nervous?’

‘Stop asking me that Danes! I wasn’t at first but you’ve been making me nervous…’

They were being picked up by a black limousine and were now on their way to the premiere. They both looked absolutely stunning. The day after Christmas, they went shopping in the most expensive shops and bought a beautiful suit and gown and of course, most importantly: new shoes.

Now they were anxiously sitting in the limo, checking their hair one last time.

‘You’re going to be fine, just keep smiling wherever you go!’

Louis looked out the window, hoping to see if they were almost there.

 

‘Come on Haz… we need to get going… fashionable late is one thing… we will be real late if you don’t get down soon!’

Harry stood in front of the bathroom mirror, looking at his own reflection.

Though he hadn’t had much sleep lately, he looked alright. He was just lingering, knowing he’d be seeing Louis on the big screen as well as in the flesh, and he still wasn’t sure how to handle it all.

He took one last look in the mirror, then walked down the stairs.

‘I’m sorry… let’s get going then!’

 

Louis found that the red carpet actually wasn't that bad, he felt right at ease.

Smiled a bit, waved a bit, signed a bit, talked a bit, and after all that was done, he was very pleased to be inside the theatre!

‘Sam looks stunning…’

Dana whispered at her friend while they were getting drinks from the bar.

Louis sniffled.

‘He always does… have I told you already what a great guy he is? He’s single you know… maybe I can set you two up!’

 

They laughed out loud but stopped when Sam joined them.

‘So Louis, aren’t you going to introduce me to your lovely friend?’

He grinned at Dana.

‘Stop flirting! I’ll introduce you properly… Sam Breckett this is my friend Dana, Dana this is Sam…’

‘It’s very nice to meet you…’

Sam took his friends hand and kissed her palm.

‘Gosh, you’re such a womaniser! Unbelievable!’

They all laughed again.

‘Where’s Jeremy? Is he still at the red carpet?’

‘I don’t know Louis, I haven’t seen him there…’

Sam was still flirting with Dana, who didn’t object at all.

Louis rolled his eyes.

‘I’ll go and have a look around then. I’m sure I don’t have to ask, but could you keep an eye on her?’

‘Absolutely, my pleasure…’

‘I thought so…’ he mumbled then quickly made his way through the mass.

 

‘You’re being a pain you know that?’

‘Jer… please… I told you I was sorry!’

They were on their way to the premiere and got into a fight while sitting in the back of the limo.

‘I told you, I’m not the premiere kind of guy… I hate those things… I’m only here because I know it means a lot to you…’

‘Right, well… if you’re going to be quite all night, expressing how much you _don’t_ want to be here… why even bother coming a long at all?’

Harry drew in a deep, deep breath and tried to calm himself down.

Why couldn’t he just disappear for a while?

Just as he decided that maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to skip the whole premiere and go home, the car stopped and the driver announced that they were there. Now there was absolutely no turning back and he thought he was going to be sick…

 

Louis asked around but so far, no one had seen Jeremy.

Then suddenly he saw him standing at the bar, drinking his champagne at one gulp, then grabbing another glass.

‘Jer?!’ He yelled and walked towards him.

‘Louis! Good to see you… you look gorgeous!’

 

The two colleagues gave each other a warm hug and kiss on the cheek.

‘Why are you gulping your champagne like that? What’s wrong?’

He looked questioned at Jeremy who looked like he stood on the edge of falling apart.

‘It’s my boyfriend once again…’

‘Oh, I thought things were better, at least, it was the last time we spoke, right?’

‘Right, it got even more better, we actually talked about starting a family…’

‘Wow… that’s great! Then what’s wrong? Where is he anyways? I wanted to meet him…’

‘You will, he just went to the bathroom. But man, he hates premieres, and everyone can see that about him. That’s why I’m drinking, hope it will relax me a bit and be a bit kinder to him…’

 

‘Looks like he is the one who could use a drink!’

Louis smiled.

‘He hardly ever drinks alcohol and believe me, if he sees me drinking like this…’ ‘What? He’ll tell you it’s bad for you?’

Jeremy nodded.

‘Well, I hardly drink myself and my ex was just like your boyfriend… but I’d say, just don’t overdo it!’

‘I won’t. I’m going to look for him, he’s been ages now…’

‘Alright, you’re going to the after party as well?’

‘Of course, wouldn’t want to miss it for the world!’

‘In that case, introduce me to him then, we need to get inside, they’re about to start!’

 

Louis made his way back to Dana but was stopped halfway through. Someone grabbed him and pushed him into a small corner where nobody else was standing.

He looked up to see who ever grabbed him and was about to yell at him when he saw two familiar green eyes staring at him.

 

‘What are you doing here?’ he asked annoyed.

‘You can’t do this, not now, this is a big night for me, you can’t ruin this for me, you need to leave… NOW! You don’t even like these things… please Harry… please…’

He talked so fast that he had to catch his breath.

 

‘I’m sorry Lou… I didn’t want to come, believe me, I didn’t…’

‘Right, you accidentally ended up in your tux on the premiere party of the movie I’m starring in and you just happened to see me, grab me and shove me into this corner?!’

Harry shook his head.

‘Listen, we need to talk , there are things you need to know…’

‘Not now Haz, not now…’

An attended came over and urged them to go to the room as they were about to start the movie.

‘If you so desperately need to talk to me, then call me, tomorrow, I’ll promise to listen…’

 

Louis pushed Harry aside and followed the attended.

As quickly as possible he took his seat right next to Dana.

‘You’ll never believe who I just ran into…’ he whispered.

‘Who? Jude Law?’

Louis giggled.

‘No, stupid!’

Then in a more serious tone ‘Harry…’

Dana’s eyes widened. ‘You’re kidding me?!’

‘No, I’m not…’

‘I thought he hated premieres…’

‘Yeah, I thought so too, but he says he needs to talk to me about something…’

They both shook their heads as the room darkened and the movie started.

Louis tried to concentrate on nothing else but the movie, and quite frankly, he managed quite well.

 


	33. Chapter 33

 33

 

2014

 

‘It’s already started… what took you so long?’ Jeremy hissed at Harry.

‘I ran into someone…’

Quietly he sat down beside his boyfriend, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness, scanning the place, looking for Louis.

It didn’t take him long to find him. He was sitting three rows away from him next to Dana. He tried to focus on the movie and managed quite well.

 

He was amazed with how gorgeous Louis looked on screen. He had trouble looking at the passionate scenes between him and Julia though, Harry knew he was acting, but boy did it hurt to see someone else’s hands on his body.

The kisses seemed way too real to him. And seeing Louis’ bare skin set his heart on fire.

Jeremy looked at him and was surprised to see how much he seemed to be caught up by the film.

Nearing the end Harry looked real proud, which made Jeremy feel loads better and he softly squeezed his hand.

Harry looked at him and they shared a brief smile, all was good, or so Jeremy thought.

 

Louis was amazed by the result. He didn’t want to sound cocky, but it turned out to be a really good movie. The crowd started clapping at the end and they were showered with compliments.

‘Now what movie star?’

Dana asked with an enormous grin on her face.

‘Now we’re going to the after party as soon as possible, I don’t know if Harry’s still around, but I don’t feel like running into him again…’

‘Whatever you want, it’s your night!’

 

It took them longer then they’d thought to make their way through all the people and back into the limousine again.

The after party was in a gigantic nightclub. When they arrived they made a deal that, if they lost each other, they would meet up in the hallway when the party was over.

And they soon lost each other in the crowded place.

Louis wandered about, chatting to some people, when he saw Harry in the middle of the crowd.

He walked towards him.

‘Why are you still here? I thought I’d told you to leave?!’

‘Lou, please, you don’t understand… I’ve found out something, let me just explain this to you, please!’

Harry looked upset. And though he wanted to hate him, yell at him at tell him to get lost, Louis couldn’t. He loved him too much for that.

 

‘Alright, you say what you have to say, and then you leave, okay?’

Harry nodded.

‘I don’t know where to start…’

At that very moment, Louis saw Jeremy walking towards them, smiling and waving. ‘Hey, I wanted to introduce you to Louis… but I see you’ve already done that yourself!’

Jeremy gave Harry a kiss on the cheek and wrapped his arm around his waist.

Harry looked at the ground.

‘I’m sorry?’ Louis asked.

Trying to convince himself that he did not see what she thought he’d seen.

 

‘He _did_ introduce himself properly didn’t he? Well, let me do it anyway! Louis this is my boyfriend Harry, Harry this is Louis.’

Louis didn’t know how to react, all things were going through his mind and he got dizzy trying to come up with something.

‘Well? Aren’t you going to say hello?’

Jeremy looked from Louis to Harry.

‘I’m sorry, I…’

Louis felt like he could faint any second.

‘I’ll be right back, I just don’t feel… I need to go… bathroom…’

‘Louis, are you feeling okay?’

He shook his head.

‘Wait here, I’ll get you some water…’

 

Jeremy ran towards the bar and Louis looked up at Harry.

‘You wanted to tell me something, hey?’ he said softly. Harry nodded, he didn’t know what to say really.

Louis shook his head then made his way to the bathroom, he heard Harry yell his name but he didn’t look back.

‘Where did he go?’ Jeremy asked when he came back with a glass of water in his hand.

‘To the bathroom…’ Harry tried to stay calm, but all he could think about was Louis, he was worried sick about him.

‘Alright, well, I think I’ll go and look for his friend, to let her know that Louis wasn’t feeling well, somebody needs to go and check on him…’

‘Yeah, you do that, I’ll just wait here for you…’

 

But that wasn’t true, the minute Jeremy left his side to look for Dana, he walked towards the bathrooms, hoping to find Louis.

He stood in front of the men’s room, a long queue in front of him.

‘Excuse me sir…’ he asked a guy who was on his way back from the bathroom.

‘I’m looking for Louis, you know the leading guy of the movie… he wasn’t feeling well, and I just want to make sure he’s okay…’

‘I’m sorry, he’s not in there. I did see him though, I believe he was going upstairs…’

‘Thanks!’

Harry quickly ran up the stairs, trying not to trip over the steps in his hurry. There was no one at the first floor. The party was downstairs and nobody was up here. All the lights were switched off and he had trouble seeing in the dark.

 

‘Louis? Are you up here?’ he shouted.

‘Please, if you’re here, we need to talk about this…’

 

No answer. Just when he was about to leave again he heard his voice.

‘I’m here…’ he didn’t see Louis but he could hear from his voice that he was crying.

‘Loubear, where are you?’

Carefully he started to walk around, trying to locate him by the sound of his voice.

He found Louis sitting on the floor in the corner of the immense room.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked while sitting beside him.

His eyes adjusted to the dark room and he could see Louis’ face, tears glistering at his cheeks.

‘Okay? How can I be okay?’ he sobbed.

‘I just found out that Jeremy is your boyfriend… We’ve been telling each other everything, he told me about his boyfriend, who he had problems with, about his ex, and I told him to trust him… I also told him I’d had sex with my ex-boyfriend… all the while I was talking about you, without even knowing it!’

 

Harry reached out to wipe away the tears from his face but Louis held up his hand to stop him.

‘Don’t, please don’t…’

‘I didn’t know… I only found out when I saw the trailer…’

‘All the things he said… everything makes sense to me now… I even remember Liam telling me how much he looked like me… no wonder we’ve been cast as brothers…’ ‘I’m so sorry Loubear…’

‘Yeah, well, that doesn’t help, does it? He even told me you guys discussed starting a family…’

 

Harry stood up and paced around.

‘No, I mean yes, but I never meant it…’

Louis laughed, but it was just to try and relief the pain he was feeling.

‘You don’t have to make excuses Haz. You’ve clearly moved on, and I should be happy for you, Jeremy is such a lovely guy. You should be happy, loving him…’

Harry nearly lost it.

‘Don’t you dare telling me how to feel! You don’t know how I feel okay?!’

 

Louis looked surprised. He’d never seen Harry this upset.

‘You don’t have to shout at me…’

‘Do you think it’s easy for me? Acting to be a happy couple, when I still love you? _You_ told me to move on, _you_ didn’t want to keep contact whatsoever! And all the while I kept thinking about you, missing you. And seeing you tonight, I was so proud of you, but angry as well. Seeing someone else kissing you, making love to you…’

‘It’s just acting Harry…’ Louis tried to interrupt.

‘Now it is yeah! But someday it won’t be just acting. There comes a time when you fall in love again and I can’t help it, I don’t want you to!’

 

Louis stood up, wiping away his tears with his hands.

He looked at Harry who was standing with his hands on his face, Louis could hear his  breathe stammer. Slowly he took a few steps and put his hand on Harry’s arm.

‘I’m so sorry… I should’ve never contacted you again, after all these years, I’m still hurting you…’

 

Harry removed his hand from his face and saw that now they were both crying.

‘I don’t know what I can do to make this better… I really don’t…’

Louis’ hand was still attached to his arm. They were looking into each other’s eyes, trying to find a solution.

Harry took his hand off his arm and let their fingers entwine.

‘What if today was the last day on earth…’ Harry spoke softly almost whispering. ‘Then what?’

‘I’d want to spent it with you…’

Louis smiled vaguely.

‘But it’s not Haz. We are not on the Titanic, or whatever… We are in the real world here…’

‘I know, but I just realised that I can’t stay with Jer… I care for him I do, but I _love_ you, only you…’

He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Louis’.

‘I love you too…’ Louis said, still sobbing.

‘But what if…’

Before he could finish his sentence Harry kissed him once again.

 


	34. Chapter 34

 34

 

2014

 

They were still standing in the dark on the first floor, kissing.

Louis knew in the back of his mind that there was so much more to discuss, and tried to pull away.

Harry let out a quiet ‘Nuh-uh’ and captured Louis mouth again with his own.

All kinds of emotions ran through both of their minds, but neither wanted this moment to end.

 

Harry was turning them slightly, so Louis ended up with his back against the wall.

While the kisses started to deepen, hands were moving along their bodies.

Harry pressed their chests together and stepped between his feet. Louis felt his leg rising, on his own accord. Trying to wrap his leg around him, pulling Harry as close as he possibly could. His body was aching to clamber upward into Harry’s arms.

 

‘We should stop…’ Louis murmured, nuzzling his face against Harry.

‘Yeah, I suppose…’

Their noses brushed against each other. And when Harry pulled back, Louis could feel the warmth of his body disappear.

Realising that if they would stop, things needed to be discussed, he grabbed Harry’s jacket and pulled him close again.

‘Not yet…’ he said and crashed his lips onto his again.

 

His fingers tugged at Harry’s blouse, and he let his hands slip underneath the fabric, feeling the warmth of Harry’s skin underneath, skin that sent sparks through his fingertips straight through his entire body.

Harry let him go for a brief moment and removed his jacket, then pressed himself back against Louis. Trying to unbutton his trousers and dropping them and his boxers to the floor for Louis to step out of.

Harry’s lips went to work on Louis’ neck, meanwhile the tugging on each other’s clothes continued, increasing the growing heat between them.

It all felt so good.

 

Louis lost control of his breathing, Harry lost control about anything really…

Slowly Louis finished off Harry’s belt, then undoing his trousers.

It all was over faster than neither of them wanted. Wanting to stay connected forever.

They leaned at each other, catching their breaths.

Louis sighed.

‘They’re going to look for us… if they aren’t already…’

He didn’t want to let Harry go but knew that at one point, they’d have too.

They separated and in silence tried to smarten up.

‘Now what?’ Louis asked.

‘We need to go downstairs. Do I look alright?’

Louis ran his hands through Harry’s curly locks.

‘Gorgeous…’

‘Good.’

 

They walked towards the stairs.

‘Loubear?’ Harry stood still.

‘What?’

‘Could you give me some time to tell him? I mean, I can’t tell him now… not on his premiere night…’

Louis smiled at him.

‘Are you sure this is what you want?’

‘I want you, I love you, I’m more sure of that then I have ever been about anything in my life…’

Louis gave him a short kiss.

‘Take all the time you need…’

‘Are you sure?’

Louis nodded.

‘But we haven’t really talked about this yet… are you going back home after the premiere?’

‘That was the plan yeah. But things change, and I don’t have any reason to go back straightaway…’

‘But you will go back eventually?’

‘Not if you don’t want me too…’

 

Harry looked at him adoringly.

‘I don’t want you to go, but I don’t want to keep you here while you don’t want to stay!’

‘I do want to stay. I just need to go and look for a job here. This movie must give me more options around here, so I’m staying. I’m not leaving you again!’

Harry gave Louis a big dimpled smile and before they walked down the stairs, he kissed him one last time.

 


	35. Chapter 35

 35

 

2014

 

As quickly as possible they made their way to the hallway.

A stressed out Dana and Jeremy were waiting for them.

Jeremy fell into Harry’s arms.

‘Thank you so much for locating Lou… we were so worried!’

Though Jeremy just seemed happy that everybody was found again, Dana looked suspiciously at Louis.

‘Where were you?’

‘I was erm… up there, I didn’t feel well and I… well I…’

‘He didn’t want everybody to see him like that…’ Harry helped him out. 

‘Right’ Louis aimed.

‘I want to go home, can we get out of here?’ he added.

Dana nodded and said her goodbyes to Harry and Jeremy.

Louis and Harry shared a brief smile before he hurried out.

 

Once seated in the limousine that would drive them home, Dana began to question him.

‘Alright, spill it!’

‘What?’

Louis tried to give him an innocent look but his friend saw right through it.

‘I’ll tell you what I know, please feel free to correct me if I’m wrong…’

Louis looked at Dana then to the floor, knowing that he was going to get it.

‘You’ve found out, just like me, that Jeremy is Harry’s boyfriend, right?’

‘Right’ he answered softly.

‘That must have hit you in the face. So you tried to sneak out!’

‘No, I didn’t feel well, got sick thinking of them… together…’ he tried to interrupt. Dana continued her speech.

‘You went upstairs. Harry followed you, correct?’

‘Yes, your Honour’ he spotted.

Dana neglected his comment.

‘And there you just couldn’t keep your hand to yourselves?!’

‘What?!’ Louis said in surprise. ‘What makes you think that?!’

 

‘Once again I’ll let you know what I see. I see the two of you coming downstairs, been away long enough, both looking flushed. Maybe Jeremy didn’t notice, but your suit is all messed up, your hair’s down in a fringe, which was in a perfect quiff when you got missing, Harry’s shirt was not in his pants, oh, and did I mention he left a mark in your neck, or are you going to tell me that something bumped in to you?’

Quickly Louis tried to look in the review mirror of the car to glance at his neck.

He spotted the hickey in his neck and blushed.

‘I’m right, aren’t I?’

Louis shook his head.

‘No Danes, you’re not! Maybe a part of what you’re saying is true…’

‘You so had sex with him!’

Louis took a deep breath.

‘Yeah, alright, I did, happy now?!’

‘Unbelievable... just unbelievable!’

 

His friend didn’t want to look at him any longer and looked out the window.

‘You need to hear me out though, ‘cause it’s not what you think it is!’

‘Not what I think it is? Excuse me, but I’m a grown woman and I do know what sex is…’

‘That wasn’t what I was saying, why can’t you hear me out?’

Louis was getting angry with his friend.

‘You’re supposed to be my friend, you should be on my side…’

Dana looked shocked. ‘Your side? You mean I should support the two of you cheating?!’

‘We weren’t cheating…’

‘Really, now tell me then, where do I put Jeremy in this whole situation?’

‘He’s going to break up with him, we’re going to give us another go…’

Dana burst out in laughter.

‘You’re kidding me, right?’

‘I don’t understand why you find this so funny Danes…’

‘Because, let me tell you this, you’ll be the one who ends up being hurt again! He might tell you he’s leaving him, for all we know, he might actually do it, and then what? You know what happened the last time and I can guarantee you that the exact same thing will happen again!’

 

Harry and Jeremy got home as fast as they could.

‘Now what do you think of celebrating a bit more?’ Jeremy asked, putting his arms around Harry’s neck.

He gently pushed Jeremy away.

‘I’m tired, sorry…’

‘That’s okay’ Jeremy said, though looking slightly disappointed.

‘Then I’ll just cuddle up next to you in bed…’

Harry sighed, he didn’t want that either. He’d made his decision now, and though he thought he could wait one more day, he couldn’t.

He didn’t want to lay in bed with Jeremy, he couldn’t pretend everything was alright.

He drew in another breath and looked at him.

‘We need to talk…’

He sat down at the dining table and looked at Jeremy. He gave Harry a quizzed look but sat down at the other side.

‘What’s wrong? You look so serious…’

How was he going to tell him this?

 

 


	36. Chapter 36

 36

 

2014

 

Louis walked down the street with carrying his big suitcase. He wasn’t sure just yet where to go.

After the limo-ride-from-hell, things between him and Dana got out of control.

Louis understood that Dana was protective over him, but Louis had expected her to be a bit more supportive. She kept on telling how Harry was going to hurt him in the end and he was sick of hearing all of her so called good advice, got his bag and left.

He wanted to call Harry, let him know what happened, but he’d promised to give him some time.

There was a cab coming towards him and he held his hand up. He decided to go back to the hotel where he and Harry first met, maybe that would do him good.

 

Harry had no clue what to say and decided to begin to talk without knowing where it would end.

‘I know tonight is not tonight to tell you, but I can’t keep this to myself any longer.’

‘You’re scaring me Haz…’

He sighed again, he knew that he was about to hurt him, and though he didn’t love him like he loved Louis, he did care for him, a lot.

‘Listen, I’ve been thinking and we’re not going to work out…’

There, he’d said it.

 

Jemery looked at him with his mouth open.

‘Did I just hear that correctly?’ he asked softly.

Harry nodded. ‘I’m so sorry. But I can’t do this anymore…’

‘Do what exactly?’

‘Be with you. I want to split up.’

First he could see Jeremy being in shock, but it quickly changed to anger.

‘And when did you came up with that? Why? I don’t understand… I know we’ve had a rough time, but we were doing better! Why now? What’s changed? Is there someone else, is that it?’

 

He didn’t want to get Louis involved.

‘It’s just not working for me okay? I do care for you, I do, but I can’t lie to myself any longer, it’s not fair to me nor to you!’

Jeremy jumped up.

‘It’s your ex isn’t it? You haven’t been the same ever since him… tell me the truth, please! If you really care for me, you should at least have the decency to tell me the reason!’

Harry could only nod.

‘It’s him?’

Harry scraped his throat. ‘Yeah… I’m really sorry, I thought I was over him but I’m not, I truly am sorry!’

 

He saw Jeremy fighting his tears.

With a shaky voice he asked ‘What exactly happened between the two of you? I thought you told me he wasn’t in London anymore… or was that all a lie?’

 

‘No it’s not. When we met, I realised I still loved him but as he was leaving, I pushed those feelings away…’

‘I was just your second choice?’

‘No, no, it’s nothing like that. I didn’t even knew that I still felt that deeply for him until I saw him again, really… you have to believe me on that…’

Jeremy looked at him and Harry could see the pain in his eyes.

‘Did you sleep with him when he was in town?’

‘Jer… come on…’

‘No, I need to know!’

‘Why?’

‘Well, I guess that’s all the answer I need. Here? Did you take him to our place?’

Harry shook his head.

‘No, I did not. He’s been here, I’m not going to lie to you about that, he’s lived here for a couple of months before we met.’

‘Really? A couple of months? Just as long as I have lived here? Never mind, don’t answer that… What now? I mean, you asked me to move in with you, I sold my other place…’

‘I don’t know.’

 

He honestly didn’t know, he hadn’t thought of that.

‘It’s your place so I guess, I should be the one moving out, though I did nothing wrong…’ Jeremy implied.

‘If you need time, I understand, maybe it’s better if I’ll leave you alone for a while…’

‘Alone? So what are you saying? That I can stay here, decide what I want and then leave?’

‘I don’t know, I’ve said that already.’

‘You know what, don’t bother, I don’t even want to stay here for another minute. Let me just pack my bags and I’ll be gone…’

Jeremy ran upstairs, still fighting his tears, and began to pack.

‘Where will you be going?’ Harry asked.

‘Like you care…’

‘I do, I want to know if you’ll be okay…’

Jeremy looked at him furiously.

‘Okay? Of course I won’t be. And you don’t have to act like you care. I don’t need your sympathy.’

He grabbed his bags and pushed Harry out of the way.

 

‘I’ll be back for my other stuff some other day!’

With a loud bang, the door closed behind him.

Harry sat down at the couch. He hated that he had hurt Jeremy. He never meant for that to happen, and he was worried about him.

He got his phone out of his pocket and dialled Louis’ number.

‘Hey you…’ Louis answered.

‘Hey yourself…’

‘Is Jer asleep already?’

‘No… he just left…’ Harry said serious.

‘Left?’

‘U-huh. I just broke up with him.’

He could hear the surprise in Louis voice.

‘I thought you wanted to wait?’

‘Yeah, but I couldn’t. The thought of sleeping in the same bed as him, still acting like we’re a couple, didn’t feel right to me…’

‘And now what?’

‘Now he left…’

 

‘How are you feeling?’

‘What?’

‘How are you feeling, it must hurt…’

He smiled. How come Louis always knew just what to say to him?

‘Yeah it does… but it’s relieving in a way as well, knowing we’ll be together again! Maybe it’s too much to ask, but could you come over? I mean, if Dana doesn’t mind…’

He heard Louis sigh.

‘I’m not at Dana’s…’

‘Not? Where are you then?’

‘In a cab, on my way to a hotel, Dana and I got into a huge fight over you…’

‘Want to tell me about it?’

‘Yeah, I do. Let me just tell the cabdriver to turn the car around and I’ll be right there…’

 


	37. Chapter 37

 37

 

2014

 

Louis took a quick look at his watch. When he saw the time he shook his head.

It was almost 4 o’clock, he should have been asleep by now. But instead he was standing at Harry’s doorstep.

He rang the bell and waited for him to answer the door.

When he did neither of them spoke, they just embraced each other and that said more than words could ever have done.

 

Louis dropped his suitcase in the hallway and followed Harry to the living room.

‘Did you tell Dana everything?’ Harry asked while Louis sat down beside him on the couch. Again he shook his head.

‘She wouldn’t listen. She kept on nagging about how this is never going to work… great friend hey?’

Harry grabbed his hand and held it firmly.

‘She’ll come around, don’t worry.’

Louis looked at him, observed him closely.

Patiently he waited for him to look up and their eyes met.

‘How are you now?’ Louis asked.

‘I really hurt him…’

‘I know, but how are _you_ feeling?’ he asked again.

‘This must be eating you up inside, I know you… You always look after everyone else first… you’re worried and probably feel guilty…’

 

Harry smiled vaguely.

‘You know me too well!’

Louis smiled back.

‘If you want to go and look for him, just say it and we’ll look around, okay?’

Harry’s fingers entwined with his.

‘You’re amazing, you know that?’

There was a sparkle in Louis’ eyes.

‘You always know just what to say to make me feel better…’

‘I love you, so that’s what I’m supposed to do! And I’m just as much to blame for the whole situation as you are.’

Louis let go of his hand and stood up.

‘Now, what do you want to do? Do you want to look for Jer?’

‘Nah… he’s probably with friends or family and it’s quite late… or early, as it’s nearly morning.’

‘In that case, shall we go upstairs and try to get some sleep? I’m dying to get out of this suit!’

 

Harry got off the couch and together they made their way up the stairs.

Once in the bedroom there was an awkward silence.

‘My bag’s still downstairs, can I borrow a shirt?’

Louis broke the silence.

‘Sure…’ Harry grabbed a t-shirt from the closet and handed it over to Louis.

He watched as Harry got undressed.

‘Could you help me with my tie?’ he asked turning towards Harry so he could help him untie his tie.

Louis felt his breathe on his face as his long fingers pulled on the fabric of his tie. A shiver went down his spine. _‘Not the right time…’_ he thought and quickly stepped back the second Harry was done, removed his dress shirt and put on the t-shirt Harry had given him.

 

‘You’re still sleeping on the right side of the bed?’ 

Harry smiled.

‘Yeah, some things never change…’

They crawled into bed, Louis rested his head on Harry’s chest.

‘You think you’ll be able to get some sleep?’

‘No, but I can always give it a go…’

‘Turn around’ Louis said, lifting his head up off his chest.

‘What?’

‘Turn around…’

 

Harry flipped over and laid down on his stomach.

‘Now close your eyes and try to relax and let all those thought go out of your mind…’

Louis sat up and moved a bit, finally sitting down on Harry’s upper legs. Softly he began to massage Harry’s back. It took a while for him to relax but when he finally gave in, he fell asleep in no time.

When he was 100% sure that Harry was sound asleep, Louis laid down beside him and closed his eyes. He tossed and turned for a while but managed to fall in sleep in the end.

 


	38. Chapter 38

 38

 

2014

 

When he felt someone kissing his neck, Louis was absolutely sure he was dreaming. But when that someone bit on his earlobe part of him knew that it couldn’t be just a dream, dreams never felt _that_ good.

Slowly he opened his eyes and turn his head. His eyes locked with the perfect green ones who were staring right back at him.

 

‘Good morning…’ he yawned. ‘I’ve missed that!’

‘What?’ Harry replied and planted a kiss on the top of his nose.

‘You, waking me up…’

‘Oh, that!’ Harry said laughing.

‘Thanks for last night, I never thought I’d be able to get some sleep!’

‘No thanks. What time is it anyway?’

Harry smiled. ‘You don’t want to know…’

‘That late?’

He nodded. ‘It’s half past three…’

‘No way?!’

‘Way!’

 

They giggled for a moment, then Louis tossed the covers aside and got up.

‘Where are you going?’ Harry asked surprised by his sudden change of act.

‘Don’t know about you, but I’m starving. And besides that, I think it would be a good idea to find out if Jer is alright…’

He nodded. ‘You’re right, as always…’

They went downstairs and while Louis made them some breakfast, Harry tried to call Jeremy.

 

‘And?’ Louis asked while putting the bowls of cornflakes on the table.

Harry shook his head.

‘He’s not answering, I’ll leave him a message…’

He waited ‘till he heard the beep, then started speaking.

‘Jer, it’s Harry. I’m just calling to see how you are, where you are. I understand that you don’t want to talk to me, but I just want to know if you’re okay… so please let me know…’

 

He shrugged his shoulders. ‘Don’t know what else I can do…’

‘Nothing Haz, nothing. He’ll be alright, I’m sure!’

They ate their cornflakes in silence, glancing at each other and sharing smiles.

When they were finished Louis began to speak.

‘I guess I should leave then…’

Harry looked shocked.

‘Leave? Why leave, I thought you were staying?!’

‘Don’t get me wrong. I want to stay, I really do. But last time we rushed into things and it didn’t do us any good. So maybe it’s a good idea if I check in to a hotel, perhaps look for my own place and we take things slow…’

 

‘You mean like, dating first?’

‘Yeah, something like that, I just don’t think it’s a wise thing to move in the day after you and Jer broke up…’

Harry looked sad but nodded.

‘You’re probably right, though I can’t say I’m happy that you’re going…’

Louis walked towards him and put his hand on Harry’s cheek.

‘I won’t be far away.’

Harry kissed the palm of his hand.

‘Okay then, do you want me to take you to a hotel then?’

‘No, you stay here, you have plenty of other things on your mind, I’ll get a cab and I’ll call you when I’ve checked in, okay?’

‘Are you sure about this?’

Louis looked at him.

‘Yes, Jeremy will probably come back for his stuff one of these days and I don’t want to be in his face… Trust me on this, it’s the right thing to do… Let me take a shower and then I’m off…’

 

Louis took a quick shower and called a cab.

‘Haz?’ He said out loud when he didn’t see him downstairs.

He came running down the stairs.

‘Where were you?’

‘At the loft, getting you this…’ He held out a box.

‘What is it?’

‘Just take it with you and open it when you’re at your hotel.’

They heard the cab outside and looked at each other.

‘See you soon, okay?’ Louis said.

‘Absolutely, call me when you’re there!’

Harry leant forward to kiss him. Louis got his suitcase in one hand, the box in the other and went outside.

This wasn’t the end, no, this was the beginning of something fantastic, he just knew it!

 


	39. Chapter 39

 39

 

2014

 

Once in his hotel room Louis send Harry a text message saying he got there. Then sat down on the bed and opened the box he had given him.

A big grin appeared on his face when he saw what was in it.

Pictures and all kinds of stuff they got when they were together.

He got everything out and spread it out on the large bed. Finding something he thought he’d lost and giggled. This was a box full of memories and this was perhaps one of the best memories…

 

_2011_

 

_‘Loubear? Where are you?’ Harry shouted as he came home._

_‘In the study!’ he yelled back._

_He entered the room with a smile on his face._

_‘Are you busy?’ Harry asked._

_‘I was yeah, I need to do this monologue tomorrow…’_

_‘How is it going? Are you almost done?’_

_Louis smiled back. ‘That depends… Why do you want to know?’_

_‘I got you something, but it can wait…’_

_‘Oh no, I love gifts. Why don’t you give it now and then I get back to my monologue!’_

_Harry laughed. ‘Sorry can’t do.’_

_‘Why not?’ he pouted, hoping that would convince Harry to give him whatever it was he got him._

_‘Because this is something that takes some time and I don’t feel like rushing… You just study, I’ll be downstairs when you’re finished!’_

_With that said Harry left him alone in the study room. Louis looked angry at the piece of paper that was lying in front of him. How was he going to concentrate now?_

_He gave it another go but soon realised that this was not going to work._

_He got up and went to the living room. Harry was sitting at the table, reading._

_He looked up when Louis walked towards him._

_‘That’s fast!’ he said._

_Louis sat down on his lap and wrapped his arms around Harry’s neck._

_‘I want my present…’_

_‘I bet you do!’ Harry laughed. ‘Get off me then and I’ll get it!’_

_Quickly Louis stood on his feet._

_‘You’re such a child sometimes… getting all excited over a present…’_

_‘Well that’s because you always make it sound so good…’ Louis said smiling when he handed him the gift._

_Louis tore the paper off the gift box and opened it._

_‘You are unbelievable! This is the shirt I tried buying off eBay ages ago!’ he said all excited when he saw the signed Manchester United shirt in front of him._

_‘It’s the good one?’ Harry asked smiling just as much as he was._

_‘Absolutely, you are insane. This must have cost you a fortune!’_

_It was a an old shirt, signed by Ryan Giggs, the shirt he once wore at the Champions League final, and for guys like Louis, who was a totally football addict, it was the perfect gift._

_‘But I don’t understand one thing…’ Louis continued._

_‘I thought you said this present was something that was going to take some time…’_

_Harry had a cheeky grin on his face._

_‘That’s because I want to see my present on you… You were drooling over it before, I’ll be drooling over it now!’_

_‘Is that so? In that case, wait right here!’_

_Louis grabbed his gift and ran up the stairs to get changed._

_Slowly he walked down the stairs again._

_‘It fits…’ he said in a low voice, taking in how Harry looked at him. He made sure to wear the shirt, and nothing but the shirt._

_‘I can tell…’ Harry answered, his voice a bit husky. He grabbed Louis waist. Louis trembled a bit by the touch of his warm hands._

_‘You’re skin feels cold’_

_‘Don’t worry, it’s getting warmer every second now…’ Louis answered._

_‘You look gorgeous’_

_‘Thanks’_

_Louis looked at him and cocked an eyebrow._

_‘Want to unwrap me?’_

_‘Funny way to put it, but yes I would like that very much!’_

_Still standing on the end of the staircase Louis leaned against the handrail. Harry took a step closer and their noses touched._

_‘What are you waiting for?’ he asked, while he felt Harry’s breath on his face._

_Harry’s hands roamed his body, then finally lifting up the shirt._

_While he kissed his neck, Louis began to pull Harry’s shirt up._

_Harry let him go for a split second so his shirt could be removed before crashing into him again, kissing his bare skin._

_Louis’ hands went up and down his bare back. Then teasingly put his hand between Harry’s waistband._

_Harry let out a soft moan. Louis wanted to speak, tell him to get upstairs but with Harry kissing him like that, he couldn’t think straight._

_He could feel Harry’s hands move over his bum, slowly reaching down, then pulling him up, leaving Louis no choice but to wrap his legs around his waist._

_Harry carried him to the table and put him down on top of the table leaf. He kissed his chest and Louis threw his head when his mouth found his nipple._

_This wasn’t going to work, the table for one was too high, and secondly, too unstable._

_‘Haz…’ he sighed. ‘Haz…’_

_‘Uh?’ Harry replied, without interrupting his actions._

_‘We need to get upstairs…’_

_Harry let him go and took a step away from the table, making way for him to step down._

_‘Sure? ‘Cause the bedroom’s far away from here…’ Harry said, catching his breath in the meantime._

_‘Race me to it then!’ Louis replied with a wink, then started to run up the stairs._

_When he reached the top of the stairs Harry caught up with him wrapping his long arms around him and pulling him close._

_‘Not so fast…’ Harry whispered in his ear._

_Louis started to giggle._

_‘I won, I beat you to it!’_

_‘Yeah, you did…’_

_‘Don’t I get a reward for that?’ Louis said with a cocky voice._

_‘Sure, what did you have in mind?’_

_Louis reached forward and whispered in his ear._

_Harry smiled. ‘I could do that, no problem…’_

_Louis bit his lip then took Harry’s hand and walked with him to the bathroom._

_Harry turned on the shower and quickly removed his trousers and boxers._

_‘How’s the water?’ he asked as Louis had already stepped into the cabin._

_‘Hot… very hot…’_

_‘Perfect!’ Harry joined him in the shower and grabbed the sponge._

_‘Reward time…’ he said softly in his ear._

_Harry began to soap Louis’ entire body. Finally their lips met for a kiss. The kiss soon deepened and was filled with longing._

_Louis began to kiss his jaw, down his neck and finally his shoulder. Then bit hard and Harry let the sponge fell down._

_He pushed Louis up the glass wall of the cabin and pushed their chests together while kissing him madly._

_Louis loved to kiss him, he loved the contrast of his soft lips and his unshaven face._

_He could never, ever get enough of this man._

_Harry pulled him more firmly against himself, pushing his groin forward._

_‘Loubear?’ he breathed his name._

_‘Yeah?’ Louis nuzzled his face in his neck._

_‘I love you…’_

_Louis looked up and their eyes locked. Never had he imagined meeting a man like him, love a man with all his heart and most importantly, he never thought anyone could ever feel that way about him. He smiled and placed a soft kiss on Harry’s lips._

_‘I love you too…’_

Louis called Harry.

‘Thanks for the memory box, I love it…’ he said as soon as Harry answered the phone.

‘Good, you’re settled then?’

‘Not quite, but I will be. Can’t believe what I’ve found in here… brought back some nice memories!’

‘Yeah, like what?’

‘Like this ManU shirt I’ve found which I never wore more than two minutes…’

He could hear Harry snicker on the other end of the line.

‘You remember that, don’t you?’ Louis said.

‘Absolutely, shower has never been the same after that…’

 

They both laughed.

‘I miss you already, don’t know how I survived the last two years…’

‘Me neither, so, what about we start that dating thing?’ Harry said as serious as possible.

‘You mean now?’

‘Well, I don’t know about you, but I kind of slept in and I’m not tired at all… what do you say?’

‘Sounds great, what will we be doing?’

‘Let’s see… the shops are still open, what about shopping for a new gift to make some new memories?’

Louis laughed.

‘You’re quite something you know that?’

‘Is that a deal then?’

‘Yeah, you’ve got yourself a deal! Meet me in front of the hotel in half an hour, okay?’

‘I’m already on my way!’

 


	40. Chapter 40

 40

 

2014

 

‘We have to go home right now!’

Louis and Harry knocked about the streets.

‘Why? I thought you were enjoying yourself…’

Harry nodded at the bags full of clothes they got.

Louis started laughing.

‘True, but we’re going to be broke if we continue this shopping trip and besides that, these bags are getting heavy…’

 

‘Here, let me have them then.’ Harry reached for the bags.

‘No, it’s my stuff, I can carry it. You just hold me instead!’

Immediately Harry put his arm around his waist.

‘Better?’

‘Much!’

They kept on walking ‘till they arrived at Louis’ hotel.

‘Can I walk you up?’ Harry asked.

‘I thought we would take things slow?’ Louis answered in a serious tone.

‘What? I wasn’t implying anything was I? I just asked if I could walk you up…’

 

A large grin appeared on Louis’ face.

‘Honestly Haz, I know you and I know myself. You wouldn’t just _walk me up_ …’

‘Alright, alright. Have it your way.’

Harry held out his hand as if he wanted to shake his.

‘Have a pleasant evening mister Tomlinson.’

Louis neglected his hand and looked at him in unbelief.

‘You’re kidding me, right?’

‘What? Still not good?’ Harry answered laughing.

 

Louis walked up the stairs towards the lobby then turned around to face him.

‘You…’ He pointed at Harry.

 ‘Yeah?’

‘Want to walk me up?’

Now they both started laughing as Harry quickly followed him to the lobby.

‘I knew you were going to say that…’

‘Bad isn’t it. You are my soft spot, I just can’t say no…’

 

While waiting for the elevator Harry gently put his arms around Louis and held him tight.

‘You do know I want you to model every single piece of clothing you just bought…’

‘Uh-huh. I figured that one out all by myself!’

They leaned in to kiss each other and were still kissing as the elevator arrived.

When they heard the door open they broke the kiss to step into the elevator.

They were the only one there and as soon as the door closed they began to make out again.

They arrived at the right floor and wanted to get off, but the door opened and both of them froze on the spot.

Right in front of them, stood Jeremy, looking at them, completely in shock.


	41. Chapter 41

 41

 

2014

 

Louis and Harry jumped apart as soon as they saw Jeremy. Hoping that he hadn’t seen them all over each other but judging by the shock on his face, it was easy to tell that he had seen it.

Quickly they got out of the elevator into the hallway.

Nobody knew what to say, they all just looked at each other.

 

‘Are you staying here?’

Harry spoke with a weird crack in his voice. Jeremy didn’t reply.

‘I didn’t know, I’m sorry…’

Finally Jeremy spoke.

‘I bet you are! Could someone please explain to me what’s going on?!’

Louis looked at Harry then back at Jeremy.

‘Maybe we shouldn’t be discussing this in the hallway, shall we go to my room?’

‘You!’ Jeremy shouted at him. ‘You stay out of this!’

‘B-but…’ Louis tried to interfere.

‘I don’t want to speak to you!’

‘Jeremy please!’ Harry pleaded. ‘We need to talk about this. All of us…  Loubear is just as much a part of this…’

 

‘LOUBEAR?!’ Jeremy shook his head.

‘How did I miss this? I can’t believe this… We only broke up one day… So he is the ex?’

Both Louis and Harry nodded.

‘Come on, let’s not do this here…’ Louis tried again.

‘Hell no! I’m not going into a room with the two of you, absolutely not!’

‘Jeremy, if you could just calm down for a moment…’

Harry knew this was not going to work.

‘Calm down? I don’t need to calm down!’ Jeremy was thinking about all the times he spoke to Louis.

‘Oh my God! I suddenly see the whole picture now, I get it! You…’ pointing at Louis once again.

‘You told me all about how you had sex with him, how you loved him… That’s the reason why you didn’t want to have dinner at my place wasn’t it? ‘Cause it was Harry’s place, you knew all along you knew!’

 

‘No, no, no! I didn’t know… When you took me to your place I didn’t know, the only thing I knew was that you were living in the same street, and I couldn’t handle that, I didn’t know, you have to believe that!’

‘And you!’ pointing at Harry.

‘You lied to me, over and over again. Cheated on me… with my colleague for heaven’s sake!’

‘I didn’t know that he was your colleague…’ Harry interfered.

‘That doesn’t make it any better… you both should be ashamed of yourselves!’

 

Jeremy kept yelling at them in the corridor. It was only a matter of time before staff came to see what the problem was.

‘I don’t want to talk about this anymore…’

Jeremy pressed on the button of the elevator and waited for it to arrive.

‘Jer, come on. We have to talk this over…’

 

Louis looked at Harry who shook his head.

‘Let him go…’ he whispered. ‘He’s not going to listen right now…’

‘You’re damn right I’m not! And don’t speak about me behind my back, if you have something to say, say it out loud!’

 

As Jeremy got in the elevator he looked at them, furiously.

There they stood, all alone in the corridor, with their heads down.

Harry sighed. ‘Now what?’ Louis asked.

‘I don’t know Lou, I honestly don’t know…’

They walked to Louis’ room and got in.

‘You want to go home? I’d understand it if you want to go…’

‘No, who knows, Jer might have gone back to get the rest of his stuff and I don’t think it’s a good idea to be there when he does…’

‘You could be right about that, yeah…’ Louis smiled briefly.

 

‘Damn it! Why did this have to happen?!’

‘I don’t know Haz, but maybe it’s good that he knows. And I’m sure we can talk this out when he calmed down…’

Harry let himself fall on the bed.

‘I hope so.’

Louis sat down beside him. ‘Not the way I thought the night would be like…’

‘Certainly not no.’

Harry reached out and placed a hand on his cheek.

‘But…’ he continued. ‘We still have each other…’

Louis smiled and was glad to see him smiling back at him.

‘True!’

‘And you promised me something!’

‘What?’

‘To model all those clothes!’

Louis giggled. ‘Do you honestly think that’s the right thing to do, after... well you know, what just happened…’

‘Why should we let this ruin our night? I’ve had to miss you for two years already, I’m not planning on missing another day!’


	42. Chapter 42

 42

 

2014

 

They lay next to each other on the giant bed. Louis had shown only one piece of clothing he bought before they started laughing, dancing and finally falling on to the bed, tickling each other.

Catching their breath they cuddled up. As soon as Harry started to kiss him, Louis pushed him away.

‘What’s wrong?’ he asked surprised.

‘Nothing. I’m just… I think you should go home…’

‘What?! Are you serious?’ Harry looked at him questionably.

‘Yeah, I’m sorry…’

 

Louis sat up and reached for a t-shirt to put on,

‘It’s not that I don’t want you, you know I do…’

‘But?’

‘But I don’t feel comfortable with Jeremy down the hallway.’

‘Loubear come on… You don’t even know if he’s still in this hotel and even if he is, it’s not like he can hear us…’

Louis snickered thinking about it but quickly shook his head.

‘We said we should take things slow as well…’

Harry got up and grabbed his coat. 

‘I know, and you’re probably right. Being with you just makes me loose all prospective.’

‘You’re not mad, are you?’ Louis looked at him sadly.

‘Why should I? Of course not, just promise me we’ll see each other tomorrow!’

 

Louis walked with him towards the door. ‘I promise.’

Harry was already on his way out when Louis grabbed his hand and stopped him.

‘Aren’t you forgetting something?’ He raised his eyebrows.

He immediately knew what Louis meant and leaned in to kiss him.

When Louis broke the kiss, both of them smiled briefly.

 

As soon as Harry had left, Louis took a long, hot shower and crawled on to the bed, turning on the TV.

He got caught up in a new episode of Supernatural when he heard his phone ring.

It was Dana.

Even though he missed his friend, Louis was still mad at her for not supporting him when he told her about Harry.

He decided not to answer.  It didn’t take long for his phone to ring again, without looking he turned his phone off, he really didn’t want to speak to her right now!

 

 

 

Harry was shocked. His entire place was a mess. Jeremy must have come back to tear the place apart. He found a picture of the two of them tore apart on the table.

He gently walked across the room, trying not to step on the broken glass that was lying around.

He tried to call Louis but got his voicemail. _He’s probably fast asleep_ he thought.

What was he going to do now? He looked around in all the rooms. Everything was a complete mess. Pictures torn apart, clothes lying on the floor, frames broken…

Then he saw the light on his answering machine flicker. He pressed the button and listened.

_‘Don’t worry, you won’t be seeing me again. I left the key somewhere. Don’t call me or contact me in any way, I don’t want you to!’_

He shook his head. Why did Jeremy do this? He knew he hurt him but he’d never expected him to act like this.

He never even knew Jeremy had a side like this. Then he suddenly got scared. What if he went back to the hotel to try and find Louis?

Who knew what Jeremy could do, apparently he never really knew him…

As quickly as he could he ran out the house and made his way to the hotel.


	43. Chapter 43

 43

 

2014

 

Louis was already fast asleep when a loud noise from the hallway woke him up.

He slowly opened his eyes and tried to make out what it was he heard.

‘Loubear open up!’

It was Harry.

He sighed and wondered what he was doing there.

Louis yawned and slowly got to the door, wrapping his arms around himself as the room was colder then the warm bed he’d just lied in.

As Harry yelled again and knocked loudly on his door he yelled back.

‘Coming… geez, what’s the rush?!’

Louis opened the door and took a look at the man standing in front of him. Sweating and nervous looking. He didn’t get a change to ask anything as Harry pulled him into an embrace that nearly choked him.

‘Haz…’ he tried to speak.

‘I’m so glad you’re okay…’ Harry mumbled.

‘Haz, what’s wrong?’

 

Finally Louis managed to pull away.

‘Are you okay?’ Harry asked worried.

‘I was sound asleep, so yeah, why? What’s wrong, what are you doing here?’

They went into the room and Louis closed the door behind them.

Harry paced around the room.

‘What is it, you look upset!’

‘He trashed the place… He just got crazy and trashed the place…’

‘What? Who? You mean Jeremy?’

Harry nodded. ‘Everything is a complete mess, I don’t know what’s gotten into him… I was dead scared he would go back to the hotel and…’

‘And what? Attack me? Come on Haz… You know Jer, he would never do such a thing!’

‘I thought I knew him, but I never expected him to tear the place apart, so I don’t know what’s he’s capable of doing!’

‘Baby, calm down, please! Sit down, here, let me take you jacket… How did you get here? Did you run?’

 

He nodded once again.

‘Listen, he’s just upset, that’s why he did it. I’m not saying it’s okay what he did, but he would never harm me or you for that matter. He’s a good person Haz…’

Harry just sat on the bedside shaking his head.

Louis sat down beside him and tangled his fingers in his hair.

‘It’s over now…’

‘I hope so’ Harry answered.

‘It is, now, let me go back with you and I’ll help you clean the place up. And even though I almost forgot, tomorrow it’s new years and you should get some sleep, as I wasn’t going to let you have any tomorrow night!’

Harry smiled. ‘Really?’

‘Really! We do need to start off 2015 the right way, don’t we?!’

Louis gently kissed his temple.

‘Now, let me put some clothes on so we can go!’

 

It didn’t even took them long before they had cleaned the place. It wasn’t as bad as it had looked like.

‘I guess that means we’re sleeping together tonight after all…’ Harry said with a grin on his face.

‘Wipe that silly grin of your face mister! I’m only here to sleep and that’s it!’

‘Right, we should sleep and rest.’

‘Wow, you actually got it this time huh?!’ Louis laughed.

‘You bet I did, you better rest well as you promised me tomorrow night…’

‘Oh hush you! Get into bed now, and sleep… before I change my mind and go back to the hotel!’

‘You wouldn’t dare…’

‘Want to bet?’

Harry quickly shook his head and crawled into bed.

 

‘Can I at least have a good night kiss?’ Harry pouted.

Louis smiled. Harry knew all too well that Louis couldn’t resist him when he was acting like that.

Louis gave him a quick kiss and then turned around and closed his eyes.

‘What? That’s my goodnight kiss?’

Louis didn’t reply, he acted like he was asleep already.

‘I’m not settling for that. I’m not! And I know you’re not a sleep yet, nobody falls asleep that fast!’

Harry began to tickle him and Louis couldn’t help but laugh.

‘Told you, you were awake!’ he said smiling. He bent over and kissed Louis’ nose, then made his way to his mouth.

His soft lips touched his and slowly their mouths opened to deepen the kiss.

How was it that Louis could never resist that man…

They broke the kiss and looked at each other, foreheads still touching.

‘Sweet dreams Loubear…’

‘You too…’


	44. Chapter 44

 44

 

2014

 

When Louis woke up he reached out beside him and opened his eyes as the bed seemed to be empty beside him.

‘Haz?’ he called out softly. He got no reply. Just as he wanted to get up to see where he was he saw a note on his pillow.

 

_“Good morning my love, just thought it would be a wise thing to let you sleep and not to disturb you..._

_I have a great idea to spent new year’s, meet me tonight at 7 o’clock at the harbour!_

_X H.”_

Louis smiled. He had absolutely no clue what this was all about, but he loved surprises.

He wondered where Harry was right now, but he didn’t want to spoil the surprise and resist the urge to call him straight away.

He told himself to be patient and wait for his call.

While waiting, he quickly showered then made his way back to the hotel to change his clothes.

Time couldn’t fly fast enough...

 

When his phone finally rang, he answered quickly.

‘Hello gorgeous!’

‘Hello to you too’ Harry replied.

‘So? What’s the big surprise?’

‘I’m not telling you, or it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore would it?!’

They both laughed.

‘Okay, but can’t you give me a little hint?’

‘I can actually. Wear something casual, something which you wouldn’t mind if it gets dirty...’

‘Dirty, hey?’ Louis raised his eyebrows.

His mind was working overtime but he couldn’t figure out what the surprise could possibly be.

‘Anything else?’ he asked.

‘Yeah, actually, make sure you’re hungry...’

 

Now he was absolutely clueless.

‘Right... That’s it?’ He could hear Harry smirk.

‘I think so yeah. Don’t be late...’

Before he could answer Harry had hung up. Louis looked at his phone as if it was going to give him any answers.

He walked towards his suitcase and looked inside. There wasn’t much in it as he had never planned on staying longer than three days.

Quickly he grabbed his coat and his wallet and left the hotel.

After spending two long hours in different kind of shops, he found something he could wear. It was weird, shopping for clothes when he didn’t really know the occasion.

He’d bought a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, nothing too expensive though, after all Harry told him it was probably going to get dirty anyways...

Back in the hotel he put his new clothes on and looked at himself in the mirror.

Was he supposed to quiff his hair or just wear a beanie? He decided to give Harry a call.

It took a while before he answered.

 

‘I’m not going to tell you anything else...’

‘I know love, that’s not why I’m calling. I just need to know, how dirty am I going to get, what can I expect.... I mean, should I do my hair or is that just a waste of time and should I just wear a beanie instead?’

Harry laughed. ‘I’d say no, you don’t have to do your hair, I told you that!’

He sighed. ‘Haz... I don’t want to be rude or anything but it’s new year’s eve... I thought we were going to celebrate together...’

‘We are! Don’t you worry about that! Oh, before I forget, can you leave your phone at home?’

‘What?! You know people usually call each other on new years...’

‘We can call them the next day, or you can call them now... Just do it okay? I’ll see you in an hour!’

Again he hang up before Louis could answer him. Louis sighed again and let himself fall on the bed. What in heaven’s name had Harry planned for him tonight?

 

 


	45. Chapter 45

 45

 

2014

 

It was five minutes to seven and Louis was standing at the harbour near the hotel, staring over the Thames.

It was a cold night and he could see his breath in the air. He pulled his beanie down on his head, put his hands deep into his pockets and pulled his shoulders up to stay as warm as he possibly could.

At exactly  7 o’clock, Harry walked up to him.

‘Right in time sir!’

Harry took Louis’ hand out of his pocket and placed a soft kiss on it.

‘Ready?’

Harry’s eyes were glistering.

‘I think so... Are you telling me now where we are going?’

Harry shook his head. ‘Not yet, you’ll see!’

 

Harry put his arm around his waist and they started walking. Louis had absolutely no idea where they were as it was late and dark.

They walked and walked and he was wondering if they would ever reach their place of destiny...

‘There we are...’ Harry said suddenly.

‘Where are we?’ Louis asked.

‘Close your eyes!’

Louis looked at him and frowned. ‘What?’

‘Just do it okay? You trust me, don’t you?’

He nodded softly and closed his eyes.

With one hand Harry held his and the other one he lay on his lower back.

‘Okay, just a couple of steps...’

 

Though he trusted Harry with all his heart, he found it quite scary not to know where he was going. He held on to Harry tightly.

They apparently entered a house or a restaurant or something, as he could feel the warmth and see the flickering lights, on the inside of his eyes, of a fireplace.

‘Can I look already?’ he asked.

‘No, not yet, almost...’

Harry let go of his and Louis heard him walking across the room he apparently stood in.

‘Hold your hands up...’

Louis did as he was told and felt something being placed in his hands.

‘Now you can look!’

He opened his eyes and let them adjust to the darkness they were in. First he looked at his hands who were holding a set of keys then he looked around.

They were standing in a large empty room, there was nothing but a fireplace and candles all around. He looked confused.

 

‘You like it?’ Harry asked.

‘I’m not sure, where am I?’

Harry smiled. ‘In your new home...’

His eyes widened.

‘Where?’ Louis asked again.

‘This is all yours...’

‘You’re kidding me?!’

‘No, I’m not. I’m sorry but there’s no electricity yet... but I’d love to give you a grant tour...’

 

Louis was flabbergasted. Never had he imagined something like this.

‘S-sure...’ He stammered.

Harry showed him around the house, which was huge... It had a large living room, kitchen, three bedrooms, a study room and in the basement, there was a giant studio, which as Harry put it, could be his own place to dance and practice his acting.

Back in the living room Harry asked him if he liked it.

‘I love it... I love you... How did you find me this place? I’m almost afraid to ask the renting price...’

 

Harry’s smile got even bigger.

‘It wasn’t for rent...’

‘What? You bought this for me?’

Harry nodded.

‘I can’t accept that?!’

‘Yes you can, you have too, I want you to!’

‘But Haz... this is too much, really, let me pay at least a part of the prize, you’re not the only one with plenty of money, you know?!’

‘I know, but that’s not why I bought it. I didn’t buy it because I thought you couldn’t buy it... I bought it ‘cause I liked the place...’

 

Harry put his arms around his waist and pulled him close.

‘So I’m hoping that you’ll accept this, and I hope that in time you could consider this being our home...’

Louis looked up at him with big eyes.

‘You mean, as in living together?’

Harry shrugged his shoulders.

‘Well not straightaway. I know you want to take things slowly, but in time, yeah... The place I live in now has way too many bad memories...’

Louis smiled back at him.

‘I would definitely like that Haz... still can’t believe you did this... this is the best surprise ever!’

He leant forward and placed a kiss on his lips.

‘Thank you!’

Then he let Harry go and walked around the room which was lit by candles and the fireplace.

‘Though I do wonder what you meant by getting dirty...’

Harry walked towards the corner of the room and pulled away a blanket that was obviously covering something.

‘Because there’s loads to do...’

 

On the floor there were buckets full of paint.

‘You’ve got to be kidding me! I can hire people to do that you know...’

‘I know, but I thought it would be nice to do it by ourselves, just to make a brand new start!’

‘Alright, so now I get the dirty part... What about the hungry part?’

‘Dinner will arrive in a bit...’

Harry smiled, he had this whole night planned out so well.

‘Well, while we are waiting for our dinner to arrive, want to start painting?’

 

They both grabbed a brush. As the room was so terribly lightened, it was useless to paint, they couldn’t really see what they were doing but they had fun and that was what counted.

By the time the doorbell rang they were both covered in paint.

Harry opened the door and brought in the food he had ordered.

‘Ooh, that smells nice...’ Louis said while Harry put everything down on the floor.

He sat down beside him.

‘I can’t remember the last time I ate while sitting on the floor...’ Louis laughed.

‘Me neither, I should have bought a table...’

‘And chairs! No, it’s actually really cosy like this...’

They fed each other while laughing and kissing in between.

 

When they’d finished their meal, Harry stood up and walked towards the wall.

He got the brush and began to write something on the wall.

Louis slowly got up and walked towards him to see what he was writing down.

**_Harry loves Louis_ **

He giggled.

‘And you’re saying I’m the cheesy one...’

Harry smiled back at him and playfully tipped his nose with the brush.

‘Oh! I’m so going to get you for that!’

As fast as he could Louis grabbed his brush and they started to chase each other.

‘WAIT!’ Harry screamed just before he was going to get him.

‘Put the brush down!’

‘Only if you do the same....’

‘Alright, on the count of three, okay? 1...2...3!’

They both put their brush down.

 

‘I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, let me take it off of you!’

Harry grabbed the blanket from the floor and tried to get as many paint of his face as possible.

‘Let me guess.... the shower isn’t working yet either?’ Louis asked.

‘Well, it is working, but there’s only cold water...’

‘Nah, I’ll pass...’

‘Maybe it’s time to go back to my place, it’s getting cold here anyway...’

Louis looked at him surprised.

‘Seriously, we can’t leave yet!’

‘Why not? You put out the candles, I put out the fireplace and we can go...’

‘Nuh-uh... there’s one thing we need to do before we leave...’

 

He placed his hands around Harry’s neck and pulled him into a kiss. He licked Harry’s lips then looked up at him. Harry shook his head.

‘We can’t...’

‘And why not, this is my place now and I just decided that we can...’

‘B-but... there’s no bed to begin with...’

‘What? I don’t believe I’m hearing this correctly...’ he said with a cocky voice.

‘Are you turning me down?’ He pouted. ‘It’s not nice to turn a cute boy down...’

Harry laughed. ‘I’m so sorry... what can I do to apologize?’

Slowly Louis began to take off his sweater. ‘

Don’t....’ Harry said.

Louis looked at him in unbelief. ‘You _are_ serious!’

‘Let’s go to my place, please...’

‘I don’t get it... you’ve never said no to me before...’

Harry saw that Louis honestly felt rejected.

 

‘I’m sorry love. It’s not that I don’t want to, you know I do...’

‘Do I?’

‘You do. But I have this whole evening planned out and us doing this right now messes it up a bit...’

‘What’s wrong with that?’ he asked, still feeling rejected.

‘Nothing...’ Harry reached out for him but he quickly turned away.

‘I’ll promise that I’ll make the waiting worth while... please baby... just come home with me...’

Louis shrugged his shoulders. ‘Okay...’

Harry looked at him, he still looked disappointed. They put out all the candles and the fireplace and began to walk home.


	46. Chapter 46

 46

 

2014

 

Back at Harry’s place Louis took a glimpse at the clock. It was almost eleven o’clock, only one more hour ‘till the new year.

‘You still want to take that shower?’ Harry asked him while he hang up their coats.

‘That depends... are you joining me?’ he asked cheeky.

Harry shook his head and laughed. ‘You really want to mess up my plans don’t you?’

‘I don’t see what’s the problem with that...’

‘Just please, go take that shower and give me some time to organise everything...’

‘Organise?!’

‘Yeah, organise, now up you go!’

 

Harry playfully spanked his bum as Louis turned away.

With a big grin on his face Louis walked towards the bathroom.

 He turned the shower on and got undressed. The hot water felt relaxing. He closed his eyes and let the water run over his head. When he heard the door open and close again he startled and quickly opened his eyes.

‘Harry?’ he asked while he looked through the glass wall.

Thanks to the steam he couldn’t see much though. He listened closely but as he didn’t hear anything anymore he ignored the noise he heard before and grabbed the soap.

 

After taking a long shower, he stepped out of the cabin, wrapping a large towel around his body.

While he was combing his wet hair he suddenly saw what made the noise earlier.

On the door hang a dress-hanger with a soft fluffy bathrobe on it.  He smiled, for some reason he believed he knew what Harry was organising...

As quickly as he could he put it on and opened the bathroom door.

‘Haz?’ he said loud. As he didn’t answer, he walked towards the bedroom door and opened it.

His jaw dropped and he could feel tears come up when he saw the room all lit by candles, rose petals everywhere... _Gosh_ he thought _this man can be a real romantic from time to time..._

 

He swallowed away the tears and smiled. Then he heard stumbling behind him and turned around.

‘You’re already here...’ Harry said.

‘Yes...’

‘It was supposed to be a surprise...’

‘You did surprise me... you didn’t have to do all this...’

 ‘I wanted too, now you wait right here while I take a quick shower okay?’

Louis nodded and sat down on the bed.

While he glanced around the room he realised that he probably was the happiest person alive.

Harry came back soon, wearing nothing but a pair of black boxers.

‘You better get over here soon...’ Louis said.

‘I will, just one minute, I forgot one thing!’

 

And gone he was again... Louis sighed and let himself fall on his back.

‘There we are...’ said Harry when he came back into the room.

‘What’s that?’

‘That’s dessert...’

He held up a tray with chocolate covered strawberries.

‘How come I never knew you were such a romantic before?’ Louis giggled.

‘I’m not... just today!’

 

Harry took place beside him and took a strawberry in his hand. Louis opened his mouth willingly but instead of Harry feeding him, he took a bite himself.

‘YOU?!’ Louis said and playfully pushed him aside.

‘What?’ Harry laughed as though he had no idea what he was doing wrong.

‘I told you, I’m not _that_ romantic!’

Harry quickly took another bite.

‘You’re so mean...’ Louis said and pouted. Then he knew what he had to do to pay him back and started kissing him.

‘Well, that’s a way to get your piece of fruit...’ Harry laughed.

Louis wiped his mouth with his hand. ‘It works fine for me!’

‘Get up!’ Harry said. ‘What now? What else do you have planned... I was just enjoying myself...’

‘I have nothing planned from now on, but I want you to come with me and watch the fireworks from the balcony...’

 

Louis eyes widened. ‘It’s new year’s already?’

Quickly he got on his feet and followed Harry to the balcony.

‘Almost...’ Harry whispered in his ear. ‘Want to go on to the balcony?’

‘Are you crazy? It’s freezing out there...’ Harry opened the doors and as he stepped on to the balcony, cold air filled the room.

‘Come on...’ he reached out his hand. ‘I’ll keep you warm!’

Louis took his hand. Harry stood behind him and wrapped his arms around him.

‘Better?’ Harry asked. ‘No, still cold, but I do like this...’

They could hear people in the streets counting down.

_“3...2...1...!”_

They turned their faces to each other and kissed.

‘Happy new year...’ Harry said and placed a sweet kiss on the top of his nose. ‘Happy new year!’

They watched the fireworks for a minute, but got so cold then that they went back in.

‘Bbrrrr....’ Louis shivered.

‘It’s colder than I thought it would be...’ Harry said, running his hands up and down his arms to warm up.

‘It was your crazy idea to go outside in our underwear... we’re going to be sick...’

‘If that means lying in bed with you all day, I don’t mind!’

Louis walked towards him and wrapped his arms around his neck.

‘Let’s try lying in bed right now, shall we?’

Harry nodded and leaned forward to kiss him.

 

While kissing they made their way to the bed and fell down on it.

‘Finally...’ Louis sighed. ‘Took you long enough to give in...’

‘Well, I wanted this night to be special, really special...’

Louis looked into his beautiful green eyes. ‘You did that, now let’s give this night the perfect ending...’

He leaned forward and licked over the tattoos on Harry’s chest. Encircling his nipple with his tongue, causing Harry to moan. Harry grabbed his head and pulled it up and kissed him full on the mouth.

 

Louis wrapped his arms around his strong back and pulled him closer. Harry’s hands still on each side of his face. He continued to hungrily kiss him.

Just as Louis felt his hands letting go of his face and heading southwards, Harry’s phone rang.

They broke the kiss.

‘I thought you said no phones...’ Louis breathed heavily.

‘Sorry... forgot to turn mine off...’

Harry quickly grabbed his phone from the bedside table and looked to see who it was. Louis kept on kissing him, his entire face.

‘It’s my mum...’ Harry said.

‘Don’t answer...’

‘If I don’t answer she might think something’s up... I haven’t told her about us being together yet...’

 

Louis let him go for a moment as he answered his phone.

‘Happy new year mum...’ He rolled his eyes and Louis laughed.

‘What?... No, I’m okay... I just can’t talk right now... No Jeremy isn’t here... Mum, listen I’ll explain to you tomorrow okay?’

He hang up before he let his mum answer and turned his phone off.

 

‘Now where were we again?’

Even though part of him wanted to ask why Harry didn’t tell his mum he and Jeremy weren’t together anymore, Louis didn’t want to ruin this night, as Harry did everything to make this special, he wasn’t going to mess that up.

Louis smiled at him. ‘Do you need me to remind you?’

Harry nodded with a cheeky grin on his face.

Louis ran his hand down his body to his boxers. While their eyes interlocked, he slowly put his fingers inside the waistband and started to pull them down.

He threw them on the floor, then moved in to kiss his neck. While kissing it didn’t take them long to remove the bathrobe Louis was wearing.

Harry’s fingers slid into Louis’ hair and pulled him close into another kiss.

He kissed along the side of Louis’ jaw and down to his neck, nuzzling the spot just below his ear.

‘Harry...’ he said, breathless. ‘I want you...’

Harry looked up at him and smiled. Louis had this glistering in his eyes that Harry loved to see.

‘You’ve got me...’


	47. Chapter 47

47

 

2015

 

Harry woke up when the light came through the windows.

He yawned and slowly opened his eyes.

He look to his left, to see Louis, still fast asleep. He was lying on his side, his back facing Harry.

Harry turned around and wrapped his arm around his waist while nuzzling his head in Louis’ hair.

Louis let out a deep breath and mumbled something. Harry grinned and kissed his shoulder.

He could lay like that forever.

 

Harry was quite pleased with himself; the whole night turned out just the way he’d planned.

Last year they had spent new year’s together as well, but soon after the first cracks in their relationship began to show... He wasn’t going to let that happen this time.

Louis stirred and Harry looked to see if he was awake.

‘Are you awake?’ he whispered in his ear. Louis softly shook his head, keeping his eyes closed.

‘Nah...’ he spoke quietly. ‘I’m still dreaming...’

‘What are you dreaming then?’

‘Can’t say... it’s too rude to say out loud...’

Harry kissed his neck, then softly replaced his lips with his teeth and lightly bit the skin underneath him.

‘Something like that?’ Harry mumbled against his skin.

Louis finally opened his eyes.

‘You’re on the right track...’

He turned around to kiss Harry. Then cuddled up against him.

‘This is better than last year...’ Louis said. 

‘Oh, come on.... we had fun back then!’

Louis laughed. ‘True, but I prefer a bed to the floor... and I love the fact that we are all alone...’

Harry laughed with him. ‘Though you have to admit it was quite an adventure...’

‘An adventure? Yes, but I also can remember feeling embarrassed... I don’t think I can ever face Gemma again to be honest...’

Both thought back to the previous new years eve...

 

_2012_

 

_‘_ _Haz...wake up!’ ‘_

_No... not yet...’_

_Louis pocked him in the side. ‘Come on... Gemma is already awake, I’ve heard her walk about and we have that lunch we should be at remember?!’_

_Harry opened his eyes and looked back at him._

_‘What time is it?’ Harry asked in a sleepy voice. ‘Ten o’clock...’_

_He smiled. ‘That means we have two hours left!’_

_‘Yeah, so you better get up and hurry as I don’t want to be late...’_

_Harry pulled Louis on top of him and kissed his forehead. ‘No, what that means is that we have plenty of time...’_

_His lips met Louis’ and it didn’t take them long to make the tension between them grow._

_Louis, realising what they were about to do, quickly pulled away._

_‘What?’ Harry asked._

_‘_ _We can’t... we’re still in your sister’s house...’_

_Harry smiled and cocked an eyebrow._

_‘You didn’t mind that with Christmas...’_

_‘That was different as she was asleep then... she’s awake now!’_

_Harry giggled. ‘You just have to be quite, and she’ll never know... Come on Loubear... admit it, you like the whole excitement of it!’_

_Louis looked back at him questionably._

_‘Or do you really want to wait until we get home again, ‘cause that’s not before tomorrow and that is not how you want to start the new year... I just know you...’_

_Louis laughed softly. ‘Yeah, you do. Perhaps a bit too well....’_

_‘So?’_

_‘So let’s get off this bed before we make too much noise again...’_

_Louis didn’t need to tell Harry twice. While they stood up off the bed, Harry grabbed his waist and pulled him close. As gently as he could he pushed Louis down to the floor, then reached with one hand to the bed, to get an hold of the blanket and put it underneath them._

_They started kissing and touching. Softly moaning into each other’s mouth, making sure they wouldn’t make too much noise._

_How was it that he was never able to resist him? Louis wondered._

_He soon forgot where he was, he lost himself completely in his lovers arms._

_Then suddenly they heard the door open and as quickly as he could, Harry put the blanket around them._

_Too late though... Gemma stood in the door way, eyes widened, jaw dropped..._

_She took in a deep breath. ‘Okay... I’m going back to the living room and I’m going to pretend that I did NOT just see this... Just so that the both of you know, it’s almost time to go...’_

_She slowly turned around and closed the door behind her._

_Harry burst out laughing while Louis was just embarrassed and felt his cheeks burn._

_‘This is so not funny Haz... why didn’t you lock the door?’_

_Harry looked at him and kept laughing._

_‘You could have done that too... I forgot I guess...’_

_Now Louis had to laugh too. ‘How am I supposed to ever face Gemma again?!’_

_‘Relax sweetie...’_

_‘What if she tells the rest?!’_

_‘Loubear, seriously, she might tell my cousins, but I’m actually not even sure if she’d do that... and she would never tell my parents, really...’_

While reminiscing they kept laughing.

‘Still, I do believe I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life...’

‘I know Lou... but looking back on it, it’s quite funny!’

Louis playfully pushed him aside.

‘And you have to give Gems some credit as she’s never told a single soul...’

‘True, I don’t know if I would have survived the lunch otherwise...’

Harry reached out and pulled him close.

‘So what do you think?’

‘About what?’

Harry grinned at him and cocked his eyebrows.

‘You know... there’s one thing you can be certain of... we are alone now... nobody to interrupt us... want to give it another go?’

‘I’m not going to lie down on the floor again, that’s for sure!’

‘You don’t have to, we can stay right here...’ Harry kissed his temple. ‘Nobody can hear us anyway...’


	48. Chapter 48

 48

 

2015

 

Louis heard a loud knock on the door and smiled. He didn’t open but yelled loudly ‘The doorbell works!’

Now, instead of a knock, he heard the bell ringing and laughed, while he went to the door to open it.

‘See, things are going great here...’ he said.

‘I can tell!’ Harry gave him a quick peck on the lips then followed him into the living room.

It had been a month now since he’d surprised Louis by giving him the keys to his apartment. Ever since that day, Louis had been working hard to make the house liveable.

He’s hired a crew to help him out, and now, all he had to do was buy some more furniture.

 

‘I can see you’re all done here... is everything working?’

‘Yes, we can shower now! And my bed has arrived this morning!’

Harry smiled and pulled him close.

‘I do believe you missed a spot on the wall there... shouldn’t that be painted?’

‘It is...’ Louis answered and looked proudly to the place on the wall where Harry had written their names down on new year’s eve, Louis had painted all around it, but not over it. He thought it was special and wanted to keep it on the wall.

‘Why are you here this early? I didn’t expect you yet...’

Harry sighed.

‘What? You look serious...’

Louis got worried when he saw the look on his face.

They grabbed the wooden chairs that were the only furniture in the room and sat down.

‘I’ve got some bad news...’

‘What is it?’

‘I need to go to LA to record some new material...’

Harry looked sad.

‘Why is that bad news love? I think it’s great!’

He shook his head. ‘I will be gone for a month...’

‘Come on... brighten up! You’ll do amazing. Are you dreading towards the flight, is that it?’

 

Once again Harry shook his head and grabbed Louis’ hands.

‘No, the thing is that I know you can’t come along and I don’t know how I will survive a month without you...’

Louis smiled. ‘You’ll survive... I’m sure... And, perhaps it’s a good thing as I was thinking of going back to Doncaster for a few days!’

‘What? Why?’

‘Don’t worry, I just need to pack some of my stuff to move to this new apartment and I need to tell the agencies I’m not planning on coming back for a while.’

‘But that won’t take a month now, would it?’ Harry looked at him questioningly.

‘No, but when I come back here I have plenty to do... I need to audition like crazy to get some work... But that doesn’t mean that I’m not going to miss you...’

‘Good! You got me worried there for a second!’

Louis smiled and took his boyfriends face in his hands.

‘Look at me honey... I love you and this time, we will make it work... one month is not going to kill us, you got that?’

 

Harry nodded. 

‘So, when are you going precisely?’

‘Next week...’

Louis laughed. ‘Then what are you worrying about! We have a whole week left...’ He stood up and pulled Harry up with him.

He grabbed the neck of Harry’s shirt and leaned in to kiss him.

‘You know what we need to do in that week?’ he mumbled against Harry’s lips.

‘What?’ Harry’s tongue darted out to moisten his lips. Louis couldn’t resist kissing him again.

‘Have I told you already my bed arrived this morning?’

A grin appeared on Harry’s face. ‘I believe so yeah...’

‘Care to try it out?’

Harry held his head sideways and thought about it for a brief second. ‘Absolutely! But what were you going to say...’

‘About what?’

‘You said that you wanted to do something this week...’

‘Oh that!’ Louis smiled. ‘We are going to make love in every single room in this house...’

Harry laughed. ‘Really? Every single room huh? Then we better get started ‘cause this house is pretty big...’

 


	49. Chapter 49

 49

 

2015

 

Harry lay on his side, his mouth was a slightly open. Louis watched his chest go up and down with each breath he took.

He loved to watch him sleep. Sometimes he even woke up early on purpose just to look at him. His hair was a mess from the turning in his sleep. Curls in disarray spread on the pillow.

Gently Louis wiped his hair from his forehead. Harry let out a deep breath.

Louis smiled. He couldn’t resist to kiss Harry’s inviting open mouth.

‘Wake up gorgeous...’ he whispered against his lips and brushed his nose against his.

‘I’m tired...’ Harry yawned and slowly opened his eyes.

‘I bet you are!’ Louis replied with a cheeky grin on his face.

‘Anyone would be tired after a week like that! But we need to get up... or else we’re going to be late at the airport...’

Harry yawned once again and pulled his boyfriend close.

‘I don’t want to go!’

Louis placed his head on Harry’s chest.

‘Neither do I, but the good thing is that we are both leaving today, so we’ll have some time to spent on the airport together as well!’

‘I’m going to miss you...’

Louis looked up. his eyes locked with the green ones of his boyfriend.

‘Me too, though after this week, my body wouldn’t mind to rest a bit...’

They both laughed.

‘You rest, ‘cause when I get back, we have to catch up for a whole month!’

 

They arrived at the airport right on time.

‘Oh, look, there are the lads!’

Harry pointed towards the check-in desk and walked towards them. Louis felt a bit awkward, as he hadn’t seen anyone of the lads since two years, accept Liam, who he’d seen in the supermarket once.

He could tell the guys were surprised to see him on Harry’s side from the look of their faces.

‘Louis?’ Niall said and he looked from him to Harry who firmly held his hand.

‘Why, that’s a surprise...’ Liam continued.

‘Hi guys. Good to see you again.’ Louis didn’t know what else to say and looked at Harry.

‘I’ll explain during the flight...’ he said to his band mates.

‘So, are you coming with us, or are you just here to say goodbye?’ Zayn asked.

‘Neither, I’m going back to Doncaster. Just to get some of my stuff...’

‘You’re coming to London permanently?’

Louis looked at Harry once again and smiled. He smiled back.

‘Yes! I already have my own place here...’

‘Really?’ Niall and the other guys looked questioningly at Harry.

‘Let’s just check in, shall we?’ Harry said and they all got in line to check in.

‘This is awkward...’ Louis whispered.

‘I know, but I’ll tell them everything later...’

Louis raised his eyebrows. ‘Everything?’

‘Well, no, not that...’

 

After they checked in, they had 2 more hours before both of their flights would departure.

‘Shall we meet at the gate half an hour before take off?’ Liam asked.

They all nodded.

‘Louis, it was nice seeing you again. Have a safe flight!’

‘You too Liam!’

Quickly he grabbed Harry’s hand and they started walking in the opposite direction from the lads.

‘You better explain to them ‘cause right now they’re looking at me all confused...’

‘Don’t worry about that. I told my mum and even she understood it. So I’m sure the guys will too...’

 

They walked around for a bit. They entered many shops without buying anything.

‘I’ve got this strange feeling...’ Harry said.

‘What?’

‘We’ve just found each other again and now we’re both leaving...’

‘I told you not to worry Haz. I’ll be back and so will you!’ Louis placed an arm around his waist.

‘I know but still... a month is such a long time. I really don’t want to go...’

Louis smiled. He found it really cute how he was already missing him.

They stopped walking and Louis turned to face him.

‘I love you, and I’ll be calling you every day... this month will be over before you know it!’

Harry smiled vaguely. He placed his arms around his waist and pulled him close.

 

‘You know what?’ Louis continued. ‘I know I was the one who said we should take things slow... but realising I can’t bear missing you longer than a month...’

‘What?’ Harry asked.

‘Maybe when you come back you could consider taking your stuff with you to my new place...’

Harry’s eyes widened. ‘Seriously?’

Louis nodded. ‘As for one, your place reminds me of Jeremy too much and secondly, I want to build a future with you...’

Harry smiled and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

 ‘Is that a yes?’ Louis asked.

‘Absolutely! You just made me the happiest man on earth, this calls for a celebration!’

Louis laughed. ‘We will celebrate when you get back, in _our_ home...’

Harry shook his head and leaned forward to whisper in his ear. ‘We are going to celebrate right now...’

‘What? Are you crazy? We can’t... really, we can’t...’

 

Harry took him by the hand and started dragging him along.

‘Yes we can!’ He walked so fast that Louis had to run to keep up with him.

‘Where are we going?’ he asked while still following Harry.

‘Wait here...’ Harry said and disappeared leaving Louis standing in a crowded place.

Harry came back with the biggest grin on his face.

‘This way...’

 

When Louis saw where they were going he shook his head and tried to pull his hand away from Harry’s.

‘Anyone could go in there Haz...’

Harry pushed him through the bathroom doors and closed the door behind them.

‘I just checked, nobody’s in here...’

‘But it’s a public place... people walk in and out all the time...’

Harry took a quick look around then started to push the trashcan towards the door and placed it just underneath the doorknob.

‘Now they won’t...’

Louis laughed. ‘You’ve got this all figured out a bit too much... makes me wonder if you’ve done this before...’

‘You just bring out the best in me!’ Harry answered and walked towards him.

 

Harry sucked a deep breath in through his teeth. He grabbed Louis by his shoulders and pushed him against one of the toilet doors.

He kissed Louis fully on the mouth forcing his tongue deep down his throat.

Louis let out a soft moan. Harry broke the kiss and looked him deep in the eyes.

‘I...’

‘Shhh...’ Louis placed his index finger at his lips. ‘Don’t talk or I might change my mind about this...’

Gently Harry placed a kiss on his fingertip. While still gazing in his eyes he opened his mouth and licked his finger, then Louis pulled his finger back and kissed him hungrily.

 

They touched each other as if it there wouldn’t ever be another day.

While kissing they fumbled at each other’s pants.

Louis bit his lip as he felt Harry entering him. He slammed his hand hard to the toilet door he was leaning against.

Their breathing was hard and Louis thought he was going to pass out, as the intensity he felt, he’d never felt before.

He let his hands move under Harry’s shirt, feeling every muscle with every movement they made. He scraped his nails over Harry’s back while he kissed his neck.

Neither one of them could hold off much longer.

Harry collapsed against him. They stood there for a few minutes without moving an inch, trying to get their breath back to normal.

Louis ran his fingers through his hair.

‘That was amazing...’ he said softly and kiss the top of Harry’s head.

Harry pulled out of Louis and looked at him smiling.

‘I can’t wait to get home again...’

Louis giggled. ‘And you haven’t even left yet!’

 

They both fixed their clothes and made their way out to the terminal hall again.

Louis placed his arm around Harry’s waist and rested his head on his shoulder while walking along.

Harry put his arm around his shoulder. Louis took a quick glimpse at his watch.

‘You should be heading back to the others... and I should get to my own gate...’

They stopped walking and embraced each other.

‘I love you... call me when you get there, okay?’ Louis said.

‘I will. I love you too... and I’ll be counting the days...’

They both smiled and kissed one last time.

Then they let go of each other and walked in opposite directions, every now and again looking over their shoulders.

 

When Harry reached the right gate, the other lads where looking at him expectantly.

‘So when did this all happen?’ Liam asked.

‘It never stopped...’ Harry replied.

‘You guys are really back together then?’ Zayn said.

Harry smiled. ‘Yeah, and this time it’s for good!’


	50. Chapter 50

 50

 

2015

 

As soon as his plane landed, Louis went back to his apartment in Doncaster.

He was tired and crawled into bed where he fell asleep, without even taking his coat off. Keeping his phone on his pillow in case Harry would call him.

 

Harry slept almost the entire flight. He never slept while flying. He was always too nervous to rest for a longer time, but after last week, he sure needed his rest.

He’d told the guys everything there was to know, but while telling them the story something kept nagging him.

He suddenly realised how bad he’d treated Jeremy. How he’d simply used him to get over Louis and when he had the chance to win Lou back, he’d kicked him out in a heartbeat.

 

Now he was all alone in his hotel room and watched at the clock.

It was 9 hours later in the UK and as it was morning in LA, he decided it was okay to give Louis a call.

It took a long time before he answered.

‘Hey sexy...’ Lous said. ‘How was your flight?’

Harry sighed. ‘Good I guess, I slept a lot...’

He could hear him snicker.

‘Me too, guess we needed it!’

‘I guess we did. So what are you doing? Packing stuff?’

‘No, not yet, I’ll start that tomorrow when I come back from my agent.’

When he didn’t answer immediately, Louis sounded a bit worried.

‘You okay?’

‘Yeah... I think I’m just tired and I miss you... and I’ve been thinking...’

‘About what?’

‘Jeremy...’

Louis’ voice changed again, surprised and a bit cold. ‘Why, what have you been thinking?’

‘Just that I treated him wrong. I never even called him again after the last time we met... and I hurt him, so much...’

‘Haz, really. He trashed your place! What were you supposed to do? Thank him?’

‘That was wrong of him, I know that. But I wasn’t treating him right either... So I wanted to ask you something...’

‘I’m not sure if I want to know it, but go ahead.’

 

Harry sighed again. ‘Listen Loubear. Could you find out how he’s doing?’

‘I guess I could do that, but I’m not sure he wants to speak to me... but I’ll give it a try if that’s what you really want...’

‘Yeah...’

‘Okay.’

‘Thanks Lou.’

‘Don’t thank me yet...’

‘Have you spoken to Dana yet?’

Louis sighed. ‘Geez... Haz! Can’t we talk about something else... something more cheerful?’

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you, I just thought that you might give her a call... I know you miss her...’

‘I do and maybe I will call her... Damn it!’

‘What?’ Harry asked surprised.

‘Nothing... I just hate not having you here with me already.’

‘Me too, I’ll be counting the days ‘till I get back. But for now, we need to be content with this way of communication...’

Louis nodded, as if he could see that.

‘Listen, I’m going to lay down for a moment, I’m completely knackered, I’ll call you again tomorrow, okay?’

‘I’ll be waiting...’ Louis answered.

‘I love you Loubear.’

‘Love you too...’

 

They both sighed when they’d hung up the phone. This was going to be a long, long month...


	51. Chapter 51

 51

 

2015

 

In the next couple of days, Louis sorted out all of his stuff, went to all the casting agencies to tell them about the definite move he made to London and visited some family and friends. He basically did everything to keep his mind from constantly drifting to Harry.

Besides that, he also needed an excuse not to call either Dana or Jeremy, he was simply too busy, or at least, that was what he told himself.

When Harry asked about it, he implied he’d call Jeremy himself. After all Louis sincerely didn’t think he was the one Jer would want to speak too.

Harry agreed and told Louis he’d let him know as soon as he’d talked to him.

Now there was only Dana left to call. He did miss his friend and though a part of him kept telling himself that Dana hadn’t called as well... he knew all too well that his friend _did_ try to call him before new year’s, but that he was the one who hadn’t answered.

So he made a deal to himself that as soon as he got back to London, he’d give his friend a call.

 

But just before he went back, Louis found himself at the doctor’s office. Nothing special, he always did that once a year to have a full check up and if possible donate some blood. He remembered his Nan once being in the hospital and there being a short on blood for her blood type. Ever since that moment, he was adamant to try and give blood once a year.

This time, however, seemed not to go as planned. As always the doctor took a little of his blood for testing before he could start donating, making sure he was all clear to go. But when the doctor came back, announcing there would be no donating this time as they found something in his blood, Louis felt the ground beneath his feet being pulled away.

 

When he got back home he thought now would be the perfect time to call Dana. He needed a friend to talk to.

‘Hello?’

‘Danes? It’s me, Louis...’

‘Oh...’

‘Is that all you’re going to say?’

‘I’m sorry Lou. I just... Why are you calling? I thought you’d never wanted to speak to me again...’

‘I never said that. I just wanted you to support me... I understand now though that you were just trying to protect me.’

‘That took you long enough...’

‘I’m sorry Danes. Can’t we just be friends again?’

Louis couldn’t see her but he knew Dana was smiling.

‘Sure, I’d like that, let’s just forget about the past!’

Louis smiled too. ‘Right. ‘Cause I sure could use a friend right now...’

 

‘What? What’s wrong?’

‘I don’t really know if there’s something wrong, I do know that I need your advise...’

‘Shoot!’

Louis took a deep breath and blurted out. ‘I have an STD.’

It went quite on the other end of the line. ‘I beg your pardon?’ Dana said. 

‘Didn’t you hear me? It’s embarrassing enough as it is!’

‘Yeah, yeah. I did hear you, just thought I might have misheard... gosh...is it bad?’

‘It’s an STD of course it’s bad!’ ‘Geez don’t get pissed at me about that. How bad is it?’

‘Erm... not that bad... But not good either. Have this stupid antibiotics to take and then I should be fine again.’

‘You just found out? What did Harry say?’

‘I haven’t told him yet, for some reason I needed to call you first!’

 

Dana laughed. ‘Why don’t you go tell him? Isn’t he home, you know he needs to be tested too right?’

‘He’s in LA, I’m in Donny at the moment...’

‘Are you? I didn’t know that...’

‘Yeah, well. So here’s why I need your advice...’

‘Lou, I don’t know a thing about STDs other than that they need to be treated a.s.a.p. so you need to talk to Harry about this!’

‘No, that’s not why I need your advice. I want to know what you would do if you were me... I am sure Harry is going to get angry at me for this... I don’t know how to tell him!’

‘He didn’t gave it to you then? Sorry, I just assumed...’

Louis interrupted. ‘No, well I don’t know. He’s the one who was in a steady relationship... I on the other hand didn’t have a steady partner so I guess it’s me...’

‘You filthy little thing!’ Dana laughed.

‘It is NOT funny Danes!’ ‘I’m sorry Lou, I know it’s not. It’s just... remember when we first met? You were so innocent and cute and... this is just the last thing I ever imagined would happen you know?’

 

Louis sighed. ‘I know. Guess I’ve been stupid and careless... That doesn’t change the fact that I need to tell Haz and I have no clue on how to do this...’

Dana interrupted. ‘Just call him you idiot. He has to know and it’s not a thing that can wait you know...’

‘True, but I want to tell Harry in person. This is something really big... we are just fixing our relationship and I don’t want to tell him by phone...’

‘Okay, I see your problem. When is he back?’

‘He’ll be gone till the end of the month...’ ‘In that case, I’d say, why don’t you take the first flight to LA, tell him the bad news, then fly back home again?’

‘I’d thought about that, you don’t think I’m crazy if I’d do that?’

 

Louis could hear his friend laugh.

‘Listen Lou, ever since the first day we’ve met, I always thought you were crazy. But in a good way, just like me! Now you go and book a flight, I’m sure Harry will be happy to see you and he can handle this little bit of bad news! And do call me to keep me updated.’

Louis was relieved after talking to his friend.

‘Thanks Danes.’ ‘No problem! And Lou?’

‘Yeah?’ ‘I’m really happy you called. I’ve missed you...’

‘I’ve missed you too!’

 

As quickly as possible Louis began to repack one of his bags for his upcoming trip to LA and raced to the airport.

 

 

 


	52. Chapter 52

 52

 

2015

 

During the long flight to LA, Louis had plenty of time to think.

This was all way too much.

Why did he need to be so careless... why now...

 

Sure it was their own fault for not taking precautions, which is why he had to tell Harry, if they’d been safe Louis could just deal with this on his own and no one ever needed to know.

But no. Louis had been stupid enough to not use protection whilst sleeping with a stranger, let alone sleeping with Harry.

Why had he been this stupid? WHY?

 

They had just gotten back together, they weren’t even living together, though that was going to happen as soon as Harry got back.

And what about the press?! Can you imagine this information leaking to the press in one way or another? He’d be screwed.

Louis laughed at the mental pun in the last sentence.

After thinking and thinking about how Harry would respond, he decided to let it be. After all, he _was_ the stupid one and he deserved to be yelled at.

When he got off the plane, the only thing he could think of was how to tell Haz. What if he got so angry that he’d leave him?

 

Louis was tired and his body told him to get some sleep. But he didn’t want to get any sleep until he’d spoken to Harry.

He knew in which hotel he was staying, he even knew his room number, so he got a cab and made his way to the hotel.

In the lobby he ran into Liam.

‘Louis? What are you doing here?’

‘Hi Liam! Nice to see you. I’m here to see Haz.’

‘Really? He didn’t tell me that...’

‘It’s a surprise! And don’t worry, I’m not here to mess up your schedule, I will only stay a day or two...’

‘I see. Well, Harry is in his room as far as I’m concerned.’

‘Thanks Liam!’

He left Liam a bit surprised and hurried to the elevator.

 

When he got to Harry’s room he knocked on the door.

It didn’t take long before the door opened.

Louis smiled a nervous smile when he saw Harry. He looked at him confused.

‘Am I dreaming or are you really here?’ Harry asked.

‘I’m here...’ he answered reaching out his hand to touch Harry’s face.

Instead of questioning why Louis was there he was pulled into Harry’s arms and embraced him.

‘I can’t believe you’re really here...’ Harry murmured in his hair.

‘Me neither...’

Harry broke the embrace and Louis followed him into his room.

 

‘What are you doing here? Not that I’m not happy to see you, I am, I’ve been missing you like crazy, but...’

Louis got nervous thinking about how he was going to tell him.

‘I’ve got some news and I really missed you.’ Louis could kick himself for saying this, but he couldn’t just say what the problem was.

‘The news so good that you had to fly over here to tell me?’ Harry asked questioningly.

Louis smiled vaguely, ‘It was just a lot... So I figured I’d fly over.’

‘Tell me!’ Harry sat down in a large armchair. Louis opened his mouth to say something when Harry pulled him on his lap.

‘No, wait, don’t tell me... not yet... First I need to do this...’

Harry placed his hands on both sides of Louis’ face and pulled him in a kiss.

 

Something inside Louis told him to break the kiss and tell him why he was there, but he’d missed Harry so much, he just couldn’t tear himself away from him.

 _‘What the heck...’_ he thought. _‘I’ll tell him later, first things first!’_

Louis tangled his fingers in Harry’s hair and pulled him as close as possible.

They broke the kiss to catch their breath and Louis’ eyes locked with his.

‘What did you wanted to tell me?’ Harry asked.

‘It can wait...’ he replied pressing his lips to Harry’s once again.

Louis moved on his lap, placing on leg on each side, without breaking the kiss.

It was insane. How long had they been apart? A week? And they already acted like they hadn’t seen each other for months.

Hands were running over each other’s bodies.

They pulled away when they heard a loud knock on the door.

 

‘Haz, we need to get going...’ it was Niall.

‘Damn it!’ Harry said, still breathing heavily.

‘It’s okay, I’ll be here when you get back. Where are you going?’ Louis asked while removing himself from Harry’s lap.

‘To some theatre show. I might be back late...’

‘Well, I could use a bit of sleep after the long flight. So I’ll sleep and will be waiting for you to come back!’

Harry smiled and placed a kiss on his forehead. ‘And then you’ll tell me why you’re here?’ Louis nodded.

‘Promised, now off you go...’

Louis watched Harry leave the room and let himself fall down on the bed.

He decided to take a hot bath, sleep a bit and then when Harry came home, he’d tell him.

 


	53. Chapter 53

 53

 

2014

 

Harry had problems focussing that night. In his mind he was with Louis and that got noticed by the other lads.

‘I thought we agreed to leave wives and girlfriends... or boyfriends at home...’ Zayn said.

Harry opened his mouth to say something but Liam came in between.

‘Don’t worry he’s only hear for a day or two.’

Surprised Harry look at his band mate. ‘Is he?’

‘He told me when I met him in the lobby. Hasn’t he told you that? What was the news he wanted to share with you so desperately anyways?’

Liam looked at Harry who looked a bit befuddled. ‘Erm... I don’t know, we didn’t exactly talk yet...’

 

Niall shook his head. ‘You guys are terrible... really!’

‘You know what?’ Zayn added. ‘Since you can’t concentrate and we all just get annoyed with each other, why don’t we skip tonight. This isn’t going to work...’

‘I can concentrate, really!’ Harry pleaded.

‘Zayn is right.’ Liam said.

‘You go back. Just make sure this is a onetime thing Haz... don’t make a habit out of this...’

Harry didn’t want to admit but he was actually kind of glad that he could go back to Louis. It was weird, he’d never felt this way about anyone before. It  was like an addiction. Not seeing him for more than a day just killed him inside. And he knew he had to get used to it, after all he was in a band that travelled around the world and Louis was an actor which wasn’t the most stable situation.

He hurried back to the hotel and quickly made his way to his hotel room.

He opened the door and saw the flickering light of the television in the furthermore dark room.

‘Loubear?’ he asked and saw him crawled up in the bed, sleeping.

Harry smiled vaguely and turned off the TV.

Quietly he took his shoes off and lay down beside Louis on the bed.

Gently he wiped the hair out of his face and put his arms around his waist. ‘Loubear...’ he said once again, softly in his ear. Louis murmured and turned a bit. ‘Are you awake?’

Without opening his eyes he nodded.

‘You’re back soon...’ Louis spoke in a sleepy voice.

‘Yeah, we decided to take tonight off.’

‘Because of me?’ now Louis opened his eyes and rubbed the sleep out of them with his hand.

‘No, because of me...’ Harry replied and he placed a tender kiss on Louis’ lips.

‘Are they mad at us?’

Harry shook his head. ‘Nothing to worry about love.’

‘Sure?’

‘Sure... are you tired?’ Harry asked when Louis yawned.  ‘Want to sleep?’

Louis shook his head.

‘Nope.’ ‘Good...’

 

Once again Harry leaned forward to capture Louis’ lips with his own.

He loved kissing him, it was something he could never get enough of.

Louis on the other hand enjoyed his kisses now even more than before. He was scared Harry would get mad at him once he told him the reason why he was here. So he tried to enjoy every second of the feel of his lovers hands on him.

‘What are you thinking about?’ Harry asked before placing another kiss on his lips. Louis thought about telling him right that second but decided that telling him now could mean Harry would stop touching him and as he did long for him, he decided he could tell him after he’d showed Harry how much he loved him, tell him when Harry was calming down or something.

 

‘Nothing... I love you!’ Louis answered and pulled him in for another kiss. Louis let his hands slip under Harry’s shirt loving the feeling of his bare skin.

‘Off...’ he breathed in Harry’s mouth. ‘What?’ Harry asked teasingly.

‘Everything...’ Louis answered and took the initiative of unbuckling his belt while Harry pulled his shirt off.

‘Better?’ Harry asked.

‘Much, but not completely...’

Louis didn’t have to say that twice and seconds Harry’s naked body was in front of him.

‘You too’ Harry motioned to Louis. ‘Nope. Let me take care of you please?’ Louis replied, knowing he wasn’t even allowed to have sex right now.

‘Sometimes... I really hate myself for letting you go the first time... look at all the time we missed...’ Harry spoke softly while covering Louis’ face with butterfly kisses.

Louis took his head in his hands and pulled him up to face him.

‘Don’t... we’ve got each other now, and that’s all that matters...’

With that said they kissed again, Louis taking care of Harry with a clumsy handjob.

 

 


	54. Chapter 54

 54

 

2014

 

 Louis woke up and became aware of the weight that was pressing against his body.

Smiling he opened his eyes and looked at the body lying on top of him. Harry was clinging to him as a child holding it’s teddy bear.

Harry looked serene and at peace. Though he loved being this close to him, Louis desperately needed to go to the bathroom and tried to climb out underneath Harry without waking him. He tossed and turned a bit, but didn’t wake.

The night before Louis hadn’t told him a thing, after he helped Harry to an orgasm, they fell asleep, totally forgetting to tell him the bad news.

Louis grabbed Harry’s shirt that was lying on the floor and put it on. He liked wearing his shirts, it was as if a part of him was still with him.

While finishing up in the bathroom Louis heard his phone ring. As quickly as possible he hurried towards his bedside and answered the phone before the sound would awake Harry.

 

Harry woke when he heard his boyfriend talk. First he lay with his eyes closed, trying to listen what he was saying, but he soon found that he was talking in a hushed tone so Harry couldn’t follow it. As soon as Louis noticed him being awake he smiled.

Harry smiled back waiting for him to hang up. While Louis was still talking Harry looked at him. He didn’t know why but for some reason he thought Louis looked different. Even more beautiful than ever. Maybe it was because he was wearing his shirt, maybe he just loved Louis even more. He didn’t know what it was but he couldn’t resist pulling Louis close.

 

Louis was holding him off as he was still talking on the phone and gave him a serious look. Once again Harry tried to kiss him. Louis pushed him away.

Harry let himself fall back on to the bed.

When Louis finally hang up, Harry looked at him and asked who it was.

‘My agent...’

Harry’s eyes lit up. ‘What? Does that mean you’ve got a new role?’

‘Yeah, but...’ ‘That’s great!’

This time Harry pulled him close and kissed Louis without giving him time to interrupt.

‘I knew you could do it. This is what you wanted to tell me, wasn’t it? You’ve got another part... What is it? When is it? Is it film, theatre? Are you joining Dana on the West End?’

Harry was rattling and Louis got confused. ‘Haz, listen... it’s not what you think it is!’

‘What do you mean?’

‘It’s not in England, it’s filmed in Italy...’

The look on Harry’s faced changed. ‘I thought you were going to tell the agencies that you were staying in England from now on...’

‘I am, but...’

‘But what?’

Harry got off of the bed and started to get dressed. ‘You know what? Never mind...’ he said and walked off to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

 

Louis sat on the bed with a confused look on his face. This wasn’t really happening again was it?

He quickly got his clothes on and walked to the bathroom where he could hear the water running.

‘Haz, come on... let me explain this before you get all mad again...’

No reply.

‘This is just for a TV-film, nothing big, we’ll finish the shooting within a week, you’re not even back then!’

Still no reply.

‘You’re seriously not going to be angry about something like this again, are you?’

Louis heard the water stop and he listened carefully while he leaned against the bathroom door.  ‘You know what?! This wasn’t even what I wanted to tell you but since you’re already mad at me, I might as well get it all out now!’

 

Louis took a deep breath, hoping to get a response out of Harry before he continued.

‘I have Chlamydia. Nothing to worry about, got it all checked and got antibiotics for it. But you need to get tested too. I’m sorry for being careless and stupid but this was all before we got back together. I didn’t go and cheat on you, I didn’t. But yeah, before we have sex again, you need to be tested and we need to get this over with. If you still want me that is...’

Suddenly the door opened and Louis almost fell, Harry stormed beside him and was packing stuff.

‘What are you doing? Can’t we just talk?’

 

For a moment Harry stopped and looked at him.

‘Talk? About what?! That we are at the exact same position we were in before? We’ve talked about this over and over and you promised something like that wouldn’t happen again... I can see now how much that promise meant to you!’

‘What?’

Louis felt the anger going through his body.

‘I told you before and will tell you again. This thing is finished in a week time, after that I’ll head back to England. Actually I can’t believe I let you run my life! You are in no position to tell me what to do!’

 ‘Am I not? I thought we were working on us being together, you going to Italy isn’t what I had in mind...’

‘I told you I come back before you even get home! Can’t you be pleased for me that at least I got the part?! You’re such a pain sometimes, do you know that?!’

‘I’m a pain? You’re the one who’s leaving once again... not me...’

Louis couldn’t believe his ears. He wasn’t hearing this, Harry wasn’t saying that.

‘You’re being unreasonable...’

‘No, we’re just back at the same point. And you know what, go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. Maybe we weren’t ever more then good lovers... Or maybe not even that. You go catch STD’s you probably have a line of lovers waiting for you back home...’

Louis jaw dropped and his eyes widened. He couldn’t simply understand why Harry was saying all these things.

Before he could speak Harry continued.

‘And you know what? I think it’s pathetic that you actually thought it would be a nice surprise to come all the way down here to tell me you’re leaving and that you probably infected me with whatever... Don’t know how that ever got into your mind?!’

 

 ‘The short movie wasn’t why I came over...’ Louis tried.

‘It wasn’t? No of course it wasn’t. You just wanted to come over to confess to me that you slept around and then, if that didn’t hurt enough, you thought it would be fun to tell me you were leaving me again, right? Well I’m saying now, you can go, just don’t expect me to be there when you get back!’

And with that said, Harry left the hotel room.

Louis was shaking, he could feel his entire body trembling and had to hold on to the bed not to fall down.

He began to cry and felt himself getting sick. He crawled towards the bathroom and threw up for dear life. Hoping he could throw everything out, Harry, the STD, the movie, everything...

 


	55. Chapter 55

 55

 

2015

 

Louis felt lost. He grabbed his stuff together and got to the airport as soon as he could. Luckily for him, he had plenty of money to buy himself a new ticket, otherwise he would have been stuck here.

He wanted to call Dana, he needed a friend, but he remembered his friend telling him this was going to happen one day, and he didn’t needed someone telling him ‘I told you so’.

He was alone, completely alone and lost.

 

Harry stormed into the studio and threw his bag in the corner.

‘What’s up with you?’ Liam asked. He was the only one there, it was still early.

‘I didn’t expect you this early...’

‘Nothing, can we just start?’

‘Erm... I don’t know if you’ve noticed Haz, but we are two members short...’ he said sarcastically. ‘Which is maybe a good thing. What’s up? And don’t tell me it’s nothing...’

‘It’s me... I don’t know what’s wrong with me?!’

 

Harry paced around throwing his hands up in the air.

‘I can name a thing or two...’ Niall said who just entered the studio. Liam gave him an angry look.

‘Not a good time to mess around Nialler...’

‘Sorry... What’s wrong?’

‘Stop asking me that, will you?!’

‘Easy Haz, he didn’t mean any harm. Tell us...’ Liam pulled out a chair for Harry to sit on but he kept pacing around.

‘I just walked out on Louis.’

His mates looked at him and then at each other. No one knew just what to say.

 

 

Thankfully Louis was able to get on the next flight back to the London.

The flight was long but it gave Louis the opportunity to think everything over.

He didn’t want to be with someone who wanted to control him, he had his own life, which he wanted to share with someone, not hand over.

He couldn’t believe Harry said all those things. Louis didn’t even got the chance to explain things.

Now what was he going to do? The way things looked now, there was no relationship anymore, and even if Harry would come to his senses, would he want to give it another go?

After all, this had happened twice now, who said it wasn’t going to happen another time in the future?

 

 

‘You probably don’t want to hear this mate, but Louis is right... you’re a real pain!’ Liam said when Harry told them what had happened.

Harry looked back at him, totally confused.

Niall nodded. ‘Not very wise of you to do...’

‘Then what was I supposed to do?! Just let him leave?’

Liam scraped his throat. ‘I don’t know if you got it clear Haz. But you left, telling him it’s over... You really lost him this time and it’s all your doing...’

Harry finally took the chair and sat down burying his head in his hands.

‘Can’t you just support him in his career? He does that when it comes to you...’ Niall added.

‘I know... I KNOW!’ Harry sighed. ‘I just... I don’t know, I’ve never felt this way...’

‘What way?’ Liam asked.

‘I don’t know what it is, really... It’s like I’m addicted. Can’t stand him not being nearby me...’

‘That’s because you love him mate’ his band mate pleaded.

‘Is it? I mean, I do love him, but it’s like I’m obsessed with him...’

 

‘That still doesn’t explain why you keep pushing her away...’ Niall said while pouring a glass of water for his mate.

Harry gave him a vague smile when he accepted the glass.

‘I’m just dead scared of losing him...’

Liam once again wanted to say something but Harry continued.

‘Part of me doesn’t understand why he’s with me, you know? How can I be that lucky, I don’t deserve him... and I’m just dead scared he’ll leave me... so I guess that’s why I can’t let him get too close, you know, it’s better if I walk out on him then the other way around... I mean, at least now it’s my own decision... does that make any sense?’

Niall shook his head. ‘You think way too much about these things Haz... why can’t you just accept that he loves you and that he wants to be with you?’

 

Harry shrugged his shoulders, deep down he knew that Niall was right...

‘Why don’t you give him a call... Just let him know that you didn’t meant what you just said, before he runs away... as then you’ve might lost him for good...’

Harry nodded and stood up. Slowly he walked towards the door where he ran into Zayn.

‘Hey mate! I know I’m late, but that’s nothing to be sad about!’ Zayn joked.

Harry didn’t react but walked on and out of the studio.

‘What’s up with him?’ Liam and Niall looked at Zayn and rolled their eyes.

‘Just let him be, we’ll fill you in!’

 


	56. Chapter 56

 56

 

2015

 

Voicemail. This was the tenth time Harry tried to call Louis but he didn’t answer.

 _I wouldn’t if I were him..._ he thought. He’d left him a few desperate messages already and was now on his way back to the hotel, hoping to find Louis there.

He ran as fast as he could through the streets, knowing that every minute counted, for all he knew, Louis could have left already.

Completely out of breath he reached the hotel. He pushed on the elevator button, but when he saw it was still on the fifth floor, he decided to take the stairs.

His muscles were burning, but he didn’t care. He _had_ to stop Louis from leaving, he _had_ to tell him he was sorry.

 

‘Loubear?’ he screamed when he reached the room. No answer. He looked around and noticed that his bags had gone.

He felt his eyes burn but swallowed away the tears. This was his own fault. Why did he had to be this stupid?!

He stood there for a while, thinking things over.

Suddenly he realised that he should go to the airport, see if he was there. Maybe he’d just left.

He hurried downstairs again and was about to ran outside when he saw someone standing in the lobby. In a daze he ran towards the man he thought to see.

‘LOUIS?!’ he yelled again. The man turned around and smiled at him.

‘Harry? What a coincidence! Long time no see... you’re here with Louis?’

 

It was Jeremy. He shook his head in confusion.

‘What are you doing here Jer?’ He said not realising how much anger sounded in his voice.

‘Well, nice to see you too... I told you on the phone, remember? I’m here for an acting course. You recommended this hotel...’

He remembered. Harry had called Jeremy a week ago to make up with him, as he still felt bad for the way he’d left him. They talked a bit and decided that they would try to stay friends. When Jeremy told him about the course in LA, he told him he was going to LA as well...

‘Sorry... I remember, I just didn’t expect you here... not now at least...’

‘What’s wrong? You look like you’re about to fall apart...’ Jeremy said.

Harry tried to speak. ‘It’s Louis... I... He...’

 

And that was all he could say. Right there in the hotel lobby he broke. Tears ran down his face and his body started caving in.

Jeremy didn’t say a thing he just took him in his arms and tried to calm him down. ‘It’s okay...’ Jeremy said softly. ‘Let’s get you to your room...’

Harry shook his head. ‘I need to... find... him... He... airport...’ He couldn’t find the right words.

Jeremy smiled friendly. ‘You’ve got to calm down first, then you can go, okay?’

Harry couldn’t do anything but agree, as his body just didn’t want to move anymore and he let Jeremy take him to his room.

 

 


	57. Chapter 57

 57

 

2015

 

Louis arrived back in London and went back home. As soon as the plane had landed, he turned on his phone again, seeing ten missed calls.

He listened to his voicemail and heard Harry trying to make up for what he’d said before. He erased the messages and crawled into bed.

He didn’t know how to deal with all this.

 

It didn’t take long before his phone rang again. Louis recognised the number being Dana’s and answered.

‘Hey you! You were supposed to keep me updated. Or did you two got secretly married or something?’ he heard his friend say. Once again Louis broke down in tears.

‘Hun? What’s up?’

‘H-he left...’ Louis stuttered.

‘Harry?’

Louis let out a loud cry which was a good enough answer for his friend.

‘Calm down sweetie. What happened?’

‘You were right... the same thing happened...’

Louis had been scared that his friend would just say ‘I told you so’ but Dana was nothing but understanding and tried to listen to him.

‘Don’t worry hun... you two will get through this!’ she said.

‘I don’t even know if I want us too!’ Louis cried when he’d told his friend the entire story.

 

Harry had calmed down a bit and told his ex what he had done.

‘You’re probably not expecting me to say this... but you should go after him!’

Surprised he looked at Jeremy.

‘Really. I may not have reacted really well when you left me for him, but I understand it now. I’ve seen a picture of the two of you in some tabloid and the way you looked at him... you never looked that way at me...’

‘I’m sorry...’ Harry said.

‘No, don’t be. It’s okay. It actually helped me get through it. I can only hope to find love like that one day...’

‘You will!’

‘Yeah, well, in the meantime, let’s get you and Louis back together!’

 

Louis talked with Dana for a long, long time and when he finally hung up, he felt loads better.

He decided that today wasn’t the day to make big decisions. So he planned on getting some sleep, getting rid of his jetlag and then think things over once again.

When he woke up the next day Louis realised that there was no way that he could live without Harry.

He did that once and didn’t want to go through that one more day.

But as he had that TV-film coming up, which he had already agreed to do, he decided to do that first and make up with Harry later. After all, a part of him wanted Harry to come to him... he was the one who started all this...

 

 


	58. Chapter 58

 58

 

2015

 

In the next couple of days Harry went back into the studio, trying to record the album with the lads. He called Louis every day, but he still didn’t reply.

Part of him wanted to go home and look for him. But there was an album to finish and he had obligations he couldn’t ignore.

The guys were there for him, tried to cheer him up, but none of it helped.

‘You are writing amazing stuff though Haz. I promise that we will go home as soon as possible. Would you like one of us to try and call him?’ Liam asked.

Harry shook his head. ‘No. I ruined this myself. Maybe he just needs a little time. He’ll call back, I’m sure he will... I know he loves me...’

 

As soon as he was finished in Italy, Louis got the first flight back to London. The minute he got home, he called Dana to come on over.

‘What’s up love?’ his friend asked while she sat down on the new couch in Louis’ place.

Louis pointed at the wall.

_Harry loves Louis_

It was still written on the wall with paint.

‘I could have told you that hun. He might have acted like a real jerk, but he does love you...’

Louis nodded. ‘I want to call him. I can’t live without him...’

Dana smiled. ‘Good!’

‘You don’t think it’s too late, do you?’

‘Does he still call you every day?’ Louis nodded once again.

‘Then I’d say no!’

Louis smiled for the first time in days.

‘Maybe I should pay a visit to a doctor first... just to have the all clear in... well you know what...’

‘You still haven’t done that? You should. Do you want me to come with?’

‘Would you do that?’

‘Of course! Let’s see if we can get an appointment today so you can call Harry tonight!’

 

Harry was completely knackered. Emotionally and physically tired. After another long day in the studio he went to the hotel bar where he saw Jeremy.

He was happy that they were friends again, he’d supported him a lot ever since Louis had left and he really appreciated that.

‘Hey you!’ Jeremy said smiling. ‘Any news?’ Harry shook his head.

‘And how’s the album going? Almost finished?’

‘Yeah. I can’t wait to go home.’

‘What will you do when you get there though...’

‘Trying to find him. I can’t believe he disappeared like this... I know I was the unreasonable one, but he doesn’t give me a chance to explain... I stopped leaving messages...’

‘Good, it’s up to him now. And if he doesn’t reply, you should be thinking about moving on...’

 

For a moment Jeremy put his hand on his and Harry got an awkward feeling that Jeremy implied something he didn’t even want to think about.

Quickly Harry removed his hand and stood up.

‘I’m going to the bathroom, I’ll be right back...’

He went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror.

He let the water run in the sink and splashed some of it in his face.

Why didn’t Louis reply? He needed to make things right...

He didn’t want to think about moving on, not without him at least.

 

Proudly Louis walked home. When he called the doctor he could come in straightaway and now his health was all restored again. He got it all in black and white. He was never going to be this stupid in his life, ever again!

Now all he needed was to call Harry. Happy with the thought of them making up and starting a new part of their life together, he got home and settled on the couch.

He looked at his watched and thought about the time difference. But he knew Harry and for some reason knew he would be awake and picked up his phone.

 

While Harry was in the bathroom, Jeremy dreamed off.

He still loved Harry, he didn’t want to, but he did. And though he really felt for him that he’d lost Louis, this could be perhaps his only chance to win him back.

He’d given Louis plenty of time to reply and since he hadn’t...

A load noise woke him up from his dream of living happily ever after with Harry.

He realised it was Harry’s phone. He had left it on the bar when he went to the bathroom.

Jeremy looked and saw it was Louis calling.

This was not what he had planned! All kinds of thoughts ran through his mind...

What was he going to do? Then he realised that if he truly wanted Harry back, there was only one thing left to do.

He grabbed the phone and answered.

 

Louis was nervous. He didn’t know what to expect...

‘Harry? Honey, I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner but I had to think about stuff...’

He heard nothing for a moment. ‘Haz? Are you there love?’

‘Harry isn’t able to get to the phone...’ a man replied. Louis thought he knew the voice but couldn’t really figure out who it was.

‘Sorry. Who is this?’ he asked.

‘It’s Jeremy. Nice to speak to you again Louis!’

Louis was shocked. Jeremy? How was that possible...

‘What are you doing with Harry’s phone? Where is he?’

He could hear Jeremy laugh. ‘He is in the bathroom at the moment, and I’m picking up as I’m waiting for him to come back.’

Still confused Louis continued. ‘What are you doing in LA?’

‘Didn’t Harry tell you I was coming over? Ah, I guess not... you haven’t been speaking to him, have you?’

‘What are you talking about? How long have you been there?’

‘Well, ever since you left I guess. But didn’t he tell you that before. I mean, we’ve been calling for weeks now... and he told me in which hotel he was staying. And since I’m taking an acting course here, and you left... well, I thought we could split the costs...’

 

Louis was in total shock. He heard Jeremy snicker.

Was that really true? Had he moved on so easily? Was that why Harry called him and didn’t leave messages anymore, as he wanted to tell him in person?

No way, that couldn’t be true... Harry wouldn’t do that... would he?

‘Tell him to get on the phone NOW!’ Louis said angry.

‘You’re not angry are you? I mean, he’s a grown man after all... He needed someone to comfort him. I think we’re even now... When Haz and I were going to a rough period you were there to pick him up, now it’s the other way around. The only difference is that I’m not that stupid to screw up a second time!’

 

This couldn’t be true... Louis didn’t know what to do.

‘Tell him I need to speak to him... I’m not believing a word you’re saying!’ he shouted.

‘Well, well... showing your true side now, are you? Hey, I’ve given you plenty of time to get him back, but he was all alone here and just needed someone to share his feelings with... You should have known what he was like, after all, he cheated on me with you for heaven’s sake! And you know what they say, don’t you? Once a cheater...’

‘Shut up! Just shut up! Let him call me back.’

‘No, you had your chance honey...’

And that was it, Jeremy hang up.

Louis couldn’t believe that was true. Harry would never do that, he loved him!

 

 


	59. Chapter 59

 59

 

2015

 

Harry came back into the bar and saw Jeremy with his phone. He hang up as soon as he saw Harry walking towards him.

‘You answered my phone?’ he said questioningly.

‘Yeah, it was Liam, I thought you wouldn’t mind, after all it could have been something important.’

‘Was it?’

‘No, he was just checking to see how you were. I told him you were fine and that I was here to cheer you up!’

Harry smiled vaguely.

 

‘He must have been surprised that you answered my phone...’

‘Yeah, well you know, Liam and I never really got a long but I believe he’s happy that I’m here to support you!’

Again Harry got the feeling Jeremy wanted something he didn’t.

‘I’m going back up to my room, I’m not in the mood for company tonight, I’m sorry...’

Jeremy looked disappointed. ‘That’s okay. You know where to find me if you want to talk!’

Harry nodded, grabbed his phone from the bar and walked towards the elevator.

 

Louis cried and cried until he ran out of tears.

He pinched himself, trying to convince himself that he was just dreaming, that this all wasn’t happening.

But it wasn’t a dream, it was a nightmare and he wasn’t even sleeping.

He thought back to the last time they broke up. It was all a bit too similar to this time...

 

_2012_

_It was the day that Louis had planned on going back home. He knew Harry had a hard time dealing with it, but he’d promised him to come back as soon as possible._

_Now he lay in bed, looking at the man she loved._

_His chest slowly going up and down with each breath he took. Gently Louis caressed his face with his fingertips. A soft moan relieved his mouth._

_He let his index finger roam over his soft lips. Louis was going to miss every little part of him, that was for sure._

_Harry still didn’t wake. Louis looked down at him, smiling. He couldn’t fight the urge to kiss him any longer._

_His lips brushed over his lovers’. In a response Harry opened his mouth, still half asleep._

_Softly Louis kissed his bottom lip. He could feel Harry stir beneath him._

_‘You awake yet?’ he asked. Instead of answering his question Harry kissed him back._

_‘Is that a yes?’_

_Harry nodded, making their noses touch. ‘But I don’t want it to be day yet...’ he said in a sleepy voice._

_Harry finally opened his eyes and locked his green eyes with Louis blue ones. ‘As I don’t want you to leave...’_

_Louis sighed. ‘We’ve been over this a million times. I’ll be back...’_

_Harry jumped out of bed and disappeared into the bathroom mumbling something like ‘No you won’t...’ as he slammed the door close behind him._

Louis shook his head, he wasn’t going to let himself think about that, he had to focus on what was happening now.

What was he going to do if this all turned out to be true? What if Jeremy spoke the truth? What then?

He spent the rest of the day in a daze. When he tried to sleep that night, he simply couldn’t.

He kept tossing and turning, trying to clear his mind, but nothing seemed to work.

 

Harry didn’t know what to do anymore, he felt lost. And he hated not being able to control the situation.

Niall told him it could be a good idea to send Louis an email, but he didn’t know what to write.

He lay in bed with his laptop, pecking away, and then erasing what he wrote.

He realised that whatever he wrote, it probably wouldn’t matter... Louis had given up on them, maybe he should too...

 

 


	60. Chapter 60

 60

 

2015

 

The next day Louis woke feeling as bad as he did the night before. Not knowing exactly what to do he decided to write down all his feelings, maybe that would help him decide on what to do next.

So he crawled back to bed, opened his laptop and began typing away.

 

Harry was still looking at the computer screen. Still not knowing what to write, he called Liam.

‘Mate, I need your help here...’

‘Sure, anything!’ Liam replied.

‘Niall told me to write Lou an email, but I don’t know where to start...’

Liam took a pause before he answered. ‘Just write down what you feel. Be honest...’

‘Yeah, well that’s harder than it looks seems!’

‘I know. But Haz, before you hang up, don’t get yourself in any more trouble okay?’

‘What do you mean?’ Harry asked, a bit surprised.

‘I’m talking about Jeremy. Zayn told me he ran into him. What is he doing here?’

‘I didn’t ask him to come Li. He’s here on his own account and he tries to help, really... You know that, you’ve spoken to him!’

‘No I have not!’

 

Harry frowned. ‘Yes you have. The other night when you called me...’

‘I haven’t called you. You said you wanted to be left alone, so why would I’ve called you?’

‘You haven’t? But...’

‘What?’

Harry shook his head. ‘If I seem to remember correctly, yesterday evening, I met Jer in the hotel bar. I went to the bathroom, came back and he was talking to someone on my phone. He said it was you checking up on me... I’m positive he said it was you!’

‘It wasn’t me Haz...’

‘Why would he say it then?’

‘I don’t know man, but it wasn’t me!’

‘B-but...’ Harry stammered.

‘Why don’t you check your phone to see who’d called you?’

‘Erm...’

Liam sniffled. ‘You don’t know how, right?’

‘Don’t laugh at me Liam. This isn’t funny! The whole situation isn’t funny!’

‘Sorry mate. Listen, I’ll come up to your room and we’ll find out who called you!’

 


	61. Chapter 61

 61

 

2015

 

“Dear Harry,”

That was it. Further he didn’t get. Time after time Louis tried to write it down, but nothing seemed good enough.

Louis didn’t even know where they stood as a couple...

He sighed. He felt nauseous but knew he had to eat something. Slowly he got up and made his way to the kitchen. He made himself a sandwich and went back into the bedroom.

He stared at the screen for a moment and closed his laptop. First he had to think about what it was that he wanted to write, when he found that out, he’d write it down.

He turned on her stereo and lay back down.

He put a pillow underneath his head and closed his eyes for a moment.

Music filled the living room.

 

_“_ _I've been broken, shut down and useless_   
_Feet above me_   
_Hands in the air_   
_You got me falling over and over_   
_You got me twisted tied up and tangled_   
_I do it all for you_   
_You know I've been a fool for you_   
_I thought I tripped on a shoelace_   
_I look down and it's only you_   
  
_Now I'm standing at a terminal waiting to connect to another plane_   
_If I told you I just cancelled my flight to America_   
_Would you call me insane?_   
_Everything I am has been neatly contained into_   
_the contents of a Samsonite bag_   
_Me, a laptop, 2 suitcases and I'm coming to see you_   
_whether you like it or not_   
_Whether you like it or not”_

Harry sat in his room, waiting for Liam. While waiting he opened Spotify, the account he and Louis had made together on his computer.

He didn’t really listen, he just needed something to play in the background while thinking. But when he heard Darren Hayes’ voice fill the room, he listened. It was as if the song was written for him, right now, right here….

_“I've been put down, picked up and put off_   
_I've been held up, pushed and shoved around_   
_You got me falling over and over_   
_I've been drifting this side and upside down_   
_I do it all for you_   
_You know I’ll be a fool for you_   
_I keep thinking I've lost something_   
_I look down and it's only you_   
  
_Now I'm standing at a terminal waiting to connect to another plane_   
_And if I told you I just cancelled my flight to America_   
_Would you call me insane?_   
_Everything I am has been neatly contained into_   
_the contents of a Samsonite bag_   
_Me, a laptop, 2 suitcases and I'm coming to see you_   
_whether you like it or not_   
  
_How many forms can indecision take?_   
_When does the warning light appear before a man breaks?_   
_Mine is a restless heart don't try to fix it_   
_You know sometimes, sometimes I want it to ache_   
  
_Everything I am has been neatly contained into_   
_the contents of a Samsonite bag_   
_Me, a laptop, 2 suitcases and I'm coming to see you_   
  
_And Now I'm standing at a terminal waiting to connect to another plane_   
_And if I told you I just cancelled my flight to America_   
_Would you call me insane?_   
_Everything I am has been neatly contained into_   
_the contents of a Samsonite bag_   
_Me, a laptop, 2 suitcases and I'm coming to see you_   
_whether you like it or not”_


	62. Chapter 62

 62

 

2015

 

Harry had never felt the anger he felt now. He kept pacing around, wanting to smash something.

‘Calm down!’ Liam tried.

‘Calm down? CALM DOWN?!’ Harry shouted.

‘I hate him, I really do… and I kept thinking we could be friends, I felt lucky to call him my friend… How could he do this?’

‘I think he still loves you Haz…’

‘Love? If he loved me he wouldn’t have been lying to me… Frigging heck! Who knows what he told Lou… Can you imagine what it would have been like for Louis, calling me and hearing Jer answer?’

 

In his rage of anger he opened the door of his hotel room and ran down the hallway.

‘Wait up!’ he heard Liam yell, but he didn’t wait. He had to talk to Jeremy.

As a madman he bounced on his door.

‘Open up now, I’m serious Jer… OPEN UP!’

While waiting for him to open, Liam caught up on him.

‘Man, what are you going to do?’

‘I don’t know… but it might be a good idea if you stayed here otherwise I’ll be ending up in jail for murder!’

 

Liam shook his head, he didn’t know what to do.

‘Jeremy, open up!’

There was no reply.

Harry rushed downstairs to the lobby, asking an attended if he knew where he could find Jeremy. But he couldn’t help.

‘What should I do now?’ he asked his band mate.

‘I don’t know Haz. Why don’t you go upstairs and write that email to Louis, then I’ll go and see if we can finish up here so you can get home.’

Harry looked surprised at his friend. ‘You mean that?’

Liam nodded. ‘If I were you I’d be dying to get home… and I guess we can finish the backing vocals in England…’

Harry didn’t answer, he just pulled his mate into a warm hug, then let go and went up to his room to write everything down.

 

Louis finally knew what he wanted to write and opened his laptop again. Listening to Darren Hayes had opened his eyes. He wasn’t going to let that Jeremy or anything else come between him and Harry, never!

He opened his mailbox and was pleasantly surprised when he saw he’d received an email from Harry. Quickly he opened it and began to read.

 

_“My dearest Loubear,_

_What can I say to make you talk to me again?_

_I miss you so much, I know I’ve been a real jerk and I can’t take back what I said…_

_But you have to believe me if I say that I’m sorry and that I want you back._

_I know ‘sorry’ is a word used way too often and probably lost its meaning, but I truly am sorry._

_I love you, only you._

_Today, or better said, a couple of minutes ago, I found out that you’ve talked to Jeremy. I don’t know what he said to you… But you need to know the truth about him being here._

_I called him some time ago – remember that we talked about that?-  and I didn’t had the chance to tell you about that yet as every time we spoke over the phone, we had more important things to discuss._

_Anyways, we talked things out and it seemed like we could be friends again. And when he told me that he wanted to take up on a course here in LA, I told him where I was staying. He came over just as you left, I thought he tried to help…_

_But I know he had his own agenda now and I need you to believe me when I tell you nothing happened between us!_

_You’re the only one that has been on my mind ever since you came back into my life…_

_Please Loubear, talk to me… I miss you!_

_I don’t know what else to say right now… call me, please…_

_I love you, I really do…_

_X H.”_

 

Louis read the mail a couple of times. He knew it. He’d known it all along… Jeremy had been lying to him! Thank God!

he could feel tears running down his face. Still trembling with emotions, he picked up his phone and dialed Harry’s number.

 

 


	63. Chapter 63

 63

 

2015

 

Harry packed all his stuff and was waiting for Liam to tell him they could leave.

While waiting he kept checking his email every minute, refreshing the page, hoping to see an answer from Louis.

When his phone rang he answered without looking who the call came from.

‘Liam? Can we go?’ he said, assuming it was Liam.

‘Haz? It’s Louis… not Liam…’

 

Completely shocked hearing the warm voice he’d been needing to hear for days now, he couldn’t speak.

‘Harry? Are you still there?’

He cleared his throat. ‘Yeah…’

‘How are you?’

‘Loubear, I’m so happy you called… I’m so sorry! Really!’

‘I know’ Louis answered. ‘So am I…’

‘And listen Lou, I can’t promise you that this won’t ever happen again… I love you, I really do, and sometimes I just do stupid things… That’s just the way it is… But that doesn’t change the fact that I love you, only you…’

‘I love you too.’

‘Does that mean you’re giving me another chance?’ He bit his lip waiting for his answer.

‘Yeah. I can’t imagine living without you…But we do have to work things out…’

Harry sighed relieved. ‘Thank you so much love. I promise you I’m going to do anything to make this up to you…’

 

While he was speaking to Louis he heard a knock on his door.

‘Hold on, I just need to open the door…’

It was Liam telling him they were ready to leave.

‘Lou, listen up, I’m coming home right now. I’ll call you as soon as we’ve landed okay?’

‘You’re coming home? I’ll come pick you up!’

Harry smiled. ‘Good, I love you…’

‘I love you too…’

‘Okay, I’ve got to go now, can’t wait to see you again Lou!’

‘Haz before you go, did you, you know… see a doctor?’

Liam came walking towards him again, telling him they needed to hurry up if they wanted to catch the plane.

‘Lou, we’ll talk when I get home okay? I really need to get to the airport… the guys are waiting for me, and as they are leaving because of me, I can’t keep them waiting…’

He heard a slight disappointment in his voice when Louis answered.

‘Sure. I’ll see you soon then…’

And that was that. He hang up, happy, knowing that Louis was going to give him another chance. And he was going to do whatever he could do to make him happy!

 


	64. Chapter 64

 64

 

2015

 

As soon as he hung up, Louis went to see Dana. He needed to talk to her about Harry and what he was supposed to do. Dana just listened and tried to let Louis come up with his own answers instead of forcing her opinion on him. He appreciated that.

 

When he got back home he tried to figure out what it was that he exactly wanted.

In a perfect world he would pick Harry up from the airport and pretend nothing had happened since he left to the states and live happily ever after.

But he knew that things needed to change before they could live happily ever after.

Not just Harry needed to change. This wasn’t all his fault.

Louis looked at the clock.

There were still many hours to go before the plane would land. An entire night had to pass by...

He decided to go to bed early. Hoping that time would fly while he was sleeping.

 

Time went by indeed and when he woke up Louis was dead scared of going to the airport.

He couldn’t eat. He knew he had to, after all he didn’t want to faint at the airport, but he was nauseous with nerves and thinking of food alone almost made him sick.

After deciding what he was going to wear, he called a cab and made his way to Heathrow Airport.

Once there he got hungry. Logically as he still hadn’t eaten a thing.

He didn’t fancy anything though. So he just bought some chocolate as that could work as comfort food as well, and he sure needed something to comfort him.

Slowly Louis walked to the arrival hall.

When he saw on the big screens that the plane had landed, it felt like his stomach was being held upside down.

What was he going to say?

He had thought about it long enough now, for days and nights it had been all he could think of, but now that the moment was finally there, what was he going to say?

While waiting for Harry to walk through the doors, he decided they needed to fight for each other because they wanted to be together, not because either of them felt obliged to stay with the other.

So with that decision made, he waited impatiently.

 

As soon as the plane had landed Harry got out of his seat.

‘Hang on mate, the doors aren’t even open yet...’ Liam said.

Harry hadn’t slept at all during the long flight. He had always been a terrible flyer but this flight had been the worst.

He wanted to get off the godforsaken plane and go home to Louis.

When they were finally allowed to get off the plane, Harry hurried to get his bags.

Of course his bags came last. He was getting more and more nervous by the minute.

‘Relax Haz. He said he’d pick you up so that’s a good sign isn’t it?’ Niall implied.

‘Once you’ve explained your weird behaviour everything will be alright again’ Zayn added, trying to make a joke to lighten up the atmosphere.

It wasn’t working.

Once Harry finally got his bags, he hurried to the exit, bumping into people accidentally. He kept saying ‘sorry’ ‘excuse me’ and got a few angry looks, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was Louis who was supposed to be waiting for him on the other end of the door.

When he finally reached the door a young girl approached him.

‘Are you Harry from One Direction?’ she asked. It tore him away from his own thoughts and he looked confused at the girl in front of him.

‘Sorry?’ he said. ‘You’re Harry from One Direction, right?’ she asked again.

‘Right’ he answered. ‘Can I have your autograph?’

In any other situation he would have said ‘no’ and walked off, but this young girl looked at him hopefully and for some reason he put his bags down and answered ‘Sure’.

He had been longing to see Louis, but now that he was so close of seeing him again, he got scared that things wouldn’t turn out as he wanted them to be.

So this was his way to give himself some time to think things over once again.

 

When Niall came walking through the doors, Louis smiled and waved at him.

‘Sorry I caused so much trouble...’ he said when Niall came walking towards him.

‘That’s okay Lou. Just work things out...’

‘Is the album finished already? I mean, you weren’t supposed to be flying back yet...’

Niall shook his head. ‘He wasn’t any good since you left so we decided to come home and finish the rest here...’

With ‘he’ Niall implied Harry, and Louis knew all too well that though the lads weren’t angry with him, he was to blame for the album not being finished yet.

‘I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have messed things up! I promise it won’t happen again!’

Niall smiled vaguely. ‘Like I said. Just work things out...’

With that said he left, leaving Louis all alone again.

He noticed himself chewing on his fingernails. He was too damn nervous to act normal. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all, picking him up from the airport. Maybe he should have waited for him at home...

But there was no turning back. Harry just walked through the doors and was looking at him.

 

Slowly Harry walked through the doors, his eyes scanning the place, looking for Louis.

Once he found him he saw Louis looking right back at him.

Louis didn’t wave... he didn’t smile... Was that a bad sign?

A thousand thoughts crossed his mind while Harry was walking towards him. He could feel a knot in his stomach. For a moment he thought back to the last time they were on the airport together and smiled at his thoughts.

Did he just see Louis smile back at him? He thought he did. He used to be able to know what Louis thought just by looking at him. But this time he didn’t know what he was thinking.

Only a few more steps to go, he thought.

 

‘How was your flight?’ Louis asked.

The most stupid thing to say of course... Louis knew it was probably horrible but he didn’t know what else to say.

Was Harry expecting him to kiss him? Did he want to?

God this was weird. Louis tried to smile, maybe that would make them both feel better.

Harry looked hurt and Louis’ heart told him to take him in his arms and tell him everything would be okay. But thankfully his mind was telling his not to.

After all, he didn’t know if it was going to be okay.

When Harry didn’t answer Louis took one of his bags which made their hands touch.

‘Let’s go home...’

 


	65. Chapter 65

 65

 

2015

 

They went outside and got a cab. While the driver put Harry’s luggage in the trunk, both of them seated on the backseat.

Neither of them was sure what to say. There was an awkward tension between them.

While driving home, every now and again they would look at each other, smiling vaguely.

 

Harry was a nervous wreck. From the corner of his eyes he kept looking at Louis. He looked different. He couldn’t tell what it was that was different, there just was something...

It was good that they were driven by a cabdriver, if he had to drive himself they’d probably ended up in an accident. He brushed his hands against his jeans, they were damp from the tension. The reason why he was that nervous was that Louis hadn’t given him any sign of what he was thinking. On the phone Louis had said he would give him another chance, but the welcome hadn’t been exactly warm.

Harry gazed out the window and tried to come up with something to say.

 

Louis fought the urge to put his arms around Harry. He wanted to but didn’t want to act like everything was alright. He looked at Harry, his face slightly turned away from him, eyes focused on the outside world.

Louis scanned his entire posture with his eyes. His hair, ears... Harry hadn’t shaved and he could see the stubble and thought back at the times he felt that same stubble against his skin.

Louis drew in a deep breath. He couldn’t fight it anymore and his hand slowly reached out to Harry’s, which was lying safely on his upper leg.

Louis’ fingers softly brushed over his.

 

Harry shook up when he felt Louis’ hand against his.

Not believing what he felt he looked down at his hand, as if he needed proof that it was not just his imagination. Nervously he opened his hand and let their fingers entwine.

He looked up and his eyes met with Louis’. This time Louis smiled, not insecure, he just smiled. Gratefully Harry smiled back.

It seemed to take ages for them to reach their house.

Quickly Harry paid the cabdriver while Louis had already gotten out of the car.

Harry got his bags out of the trunk and hurried after him.

It was a strange feeling to be ‘home’.

He hadn’t even really lived here, it was still Louis’ home, but before he had left, they had decided that they would live together.

Harry followed his boyfriend in to the living room and sat beside him on the couch.

This was the most uncomfortable he’d ever been in his entire life.

 

‘So... well... How are you?’ Louis asked with a crack in his voice.

‘I’m okay I guess... this is so...’

‘I know.’

 

Silence once again.

Louis was afraid to look him in the eye. Knowing that he’d probably lose herself in those big greens.

So he stared to the floor instead.

Harry cleared his throat.

‘Loubear... I really don’t know what to say. I can tell you I’m sorry a thousand times, but I don’t know if that’s enough...’

Louis didn’t answer but Harry saw by the look on his face that his mind was working over time.

‘Is it?’

 

‘What?’ Louis asked.

Harry looked at him but he still didn’t look back.

‘Enough? I don’t know what else there is I can do...’

Even though Louis had his face turned away from him now, he was sure he could see something glistering in the corner of his eyes.

Louis nodded.

‘Really?’ Harry asked.

 

‘I know you’re sorry, so am I’ Louis said, his voice shaking and a tear running down his face.

‘If it’s enough, then why can’t you look at me?’

In slow-motion Louis turned his face towards him. His cheeks were wet from tears.

‘Don’t cry. I love you... and if you let me, I’ll never leave you again!’

Harry could feel his own eyes burn but swallowed away the tears.

He wanted to pull Louis into his arms but wasn’t sure if Louis would let him, so he gently took his hand and squeezed it.

Louis’ breath stammered while he looked at Harry with watery eyes.

 

‘I’m sorry...’ Louis said. ‘I didn’t mean to cry... I’m really happy you’re back...’

He let his head drop against Harry’s shoulder.

This was all the permission Harry needed to put his arm around his shoulder.

‘It’s okay... we’re going to be okay...’ Harry hushed while planting kisses on Louis’ temple.

They sat there for a while, this time silence said more than words could have done.

 

Louis buried his face in the crook of Harry’s neck while Harry’s hand moved in soothing circles over his back.

Sure Louis knew there were probably a million things they should be talking about, sitting on the couch like this was all that he wanted right now.

Gently he pulled away and lifted his head up. His eyes interlocked with Harry’s.

Not knowing if he could, Louis leaned in forward and let his lips brush against Harry’s.

Quickly Louis pulled back as if asking if it was okay.

Harry’s lips curled in a smile. His hand brushed Louis’ cheek.

 

‘It’s okay’ he said. ‘I’m not going anywhere...’

Harry ran his fingers through Louis’ hair and pulled him closer.

They shared another tender kiss.

Harry kissed his lips, his cheeks and pulled Louis into a warm embrace.

Neither of them wanted to let go.

When they finally did part there was an awkward tension again.

 

‘You okay?’ Harry asked. Louis nodded.

‘You?’

‘A bit tired, but I’m okay...’

Louis jumped off the couch. ‘Blimey, I’m so sorry! I totally forgot that you just had the longest flight... You should rest a bit...’

Harry grabbed his hand and tried to pull him back on the couch.

‘No, I can do that later, I want to stay with you...’

‘I’m not going anywhere and you should get some rest. What do you say if I’ll join you?’

Harry looked pleasantly surprised. ‘You? Why, are you tired then?’

Louis didn’t want to tell him that he couldn’t sleep without Harry and there for hadn’t been sleeping well the past days, but he nodded and mumbled a quiet ‘Couldn’t really sleep the past days.’

‘I see, me neither...’ Harry answered.

‘Good, then let’s go upstairs. Do you want to shower first?’

Harry shook his head.

‘I just want to lay next to you!’

 

They went upstairs and got undressed. The moment they lay in bed Louis giggled.

‘Remember, we are going to rest... so no fooling around!’

Harry smiled. ‘I usually wouldn’t settle for that, but I’m dead tired... so this time it’s fine by me...’

He spooned him up from behind and put his arms around Louis’ waist. Nuzzling his head in his hair.

‘I’ve missed this...’ Louis said softly.

 ‘Me too’ Harry replied and yawned.

‘Loubear?’

‘Yeah?’

‘I don’t want to push it here, I mean, I’m real glad that you’re giving me a second chance, but...’

‘But what?’

Louis turned his head slightly towards him.

‘What about me moving in here? Does that still stand?’

 

He saw a little twinkle in Louis’ eyes.

‘Of course it does, silly! We need to work on being together, now how are we going to do that if we aren’t together in the first place?’

Harry smiled. ‘Just wanted to know.’

Louis planted a light kiss on his lips. ‘Now you know. Go get some sleep now...’

He nodded and lay his head back on the pillow.

‘Sweet dreams babe’ he said.

‘Sweet dreams.’

 


	66. Chapter 66

 66

 

2015

 

Harry woke up to find the bed empty beside him. He reached to the cupboard next to the bed and looked at his watch. He’d slept for two hours.

He still felt tired but knew that if he’d stayed in bed longer, he’d probably not be able to sleep during the night.

For a few minutes he lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Realizing that none of his stuff was here yet.

Slowly he got out of the bed and walked downstairs, not bothering to put some clothes on.

 

‘Loubear?’ he said while entering the living room. ‘Are you here?’

He heard some stumbling upstairs and walked back into the hallway.

Louis came walking down the stairs.

Harry looked surprised. ‘I thought you were downstairs.’

‘I was in the bathroom’ he answered.

‘You okay?’ he asked. 

Louis nodded. ‘You’re sure? ‘Cause you don’t look okay...’

‘Well thanks!’ he said smiling.

‘Oh sorry... I didn’t mean it like that... damn I’m not good at this am I?’

Louis smiled at him. ‘In what exactly? Walking around in your undies?’

Harry shrugged and laughed. ‘No, I mean, perhaps... I just realized that all my stuff is at my place... But that wasn’t what I meant....’

‘I know what you meant Haz. But you’re doing alright. And don’t worry, I’m fine, really, just felt a bit nauseous.’

Harry gave him a worried look. ‘Are you sick? Did you sleep at all?’

Louis took the last few steps of the stairs ‘till he was standing in front of him.

‘I told you I’m fine... you go take a shower, then we’ll go to pick up of some of your stuff okay?’

He shook his head. ‘If you’re sick, you should be in bed...’

‘I’m not sick! Really... now go get that shower so we can get going, or do you want to go like this?’ Louis said looking at him from head to toe.

‘Alright, I’ll get going... but you have to promise me that if you’re not feeling okay, you’re going home, okay?’

Louis sighed. ‘Sure...’ 

 

When they were at Harry’s place they started packing.

Not much though, just clothes for now, the rest could wait and they probably needed a truck for all his stuff.

Louis sat on the floor with piles off clothes in front of him. While cleaning out the closet, in the drawer with all the socks, he found the letter he wrote to Harry.

‘If you want to hide stuff, you’d better find a new place...’ he said smiling to Harry would was selecting what to take with them.

Harry looked at the letter in Louis’ hand and smiled back.

‘Put it in one of the bags, I don’t want to lose it.’

Louis did what he asked. Harry walked to the hallway.

‘You want to eat something? I’m starving...’ he said.

Louis nodded. ‘Me too!’

‘Good.’ He went downstairs for a moment and hurried back.

‘I only had some muesli and bread left... hope that’s okay...’ he said and handed Louis a bowl of muesli.

 ‘Not good?’ Harry asked when he saw Louis reaction to the bowl in front of him.

‘You’re sick... just admit it...’ he said softly. ‘Let me feel your head...’

Gently he placed his hand on Louis’ forehead. ‘You don’t have a fever...’

‘I’m alright Haz.’ ‘No you’re not. Let’s get you home and back into bed!’

 

It wasn’t possible to object. So Louis let Harry take him home.

There he had to go to bed, there was no way he could change Harry’s mind about that. As soon as Harry left him alone in the bedroom, Louis picked up his phone and called Dana.

‘Danes, I need your help again...’

He could hear his friend laugh at the other end of the line.

‘What is it this time? You’re really helpless without me aren’t you?’

‘You laugh, but this isn’t funny!’

‘Alright, alright... what’s up?’

Louis sighed. ‘Haz thinks I’m ill but it’s just a reaction to this stupid antibiotics but I haven’t told him that...’

‘Why not?’

‘Because I he just got home and we haven’t fought yet. Bringing up the whole STD thing will make him angry again...’

‘You do know he needs to be checked too right? Or maybe he already did and he is either on the same antibiotics or he’s gotten the all clear.’

‘You know what I mean Danes.’

‘If you don’t want to talk to him about that for now, fine. But then I don’t see what the problem is?’

‘The problem is that I keep getting sick and he keeps me in bed...’

‘Well, I can’t blame him. He really thinks you are sick. So my advice, either deal with him keeping you in bed or you tell him why you’re sick, the truth...’

Louis shrugged. He knew his friend was right. Maybe he should tell him...

 

Harry didn’t mean to eavesdrop on him, he didn’t. But when he stood in the hallway and he heard his boyfriend say ‘I don’t want to talk to him about that for now’ and ‘I keep getting sick’ he got worried and kept on listening. The worst scenarios crossed his mind. Apparently Louis’ condition was worse than he thought.

Otherwise he would tell him what was wrong, right?

He ran down the stairs and called Liam.

‘Hey Haz. Have you two worked things out yet?’

Harry spoke softly, scared that Louis would hear him.

‘I thought we had mate, but I think there’s something wrong with Lou...’

‘What do you mean _wrong_?’

‘He’s sick, keeps throwing up. I just thought he had the flu or something, but I just overheard him talking to Dana, saying he didn’t want to tell me what was up but that he kept on being sick...’

‘You think he’s like... _really_ sick?’

‘I don’t know Li, I’m scared to think anything, what if he is... I mean what if he’s d...’ ‘Don’t say that mate! You can’t think the worst yet, you don’t even know what’s wrong!’ Liam interrupt him.

‘Listen, you have to confront Louis with what you heard...’

‘I don’t want him to think I’m spying on him!’

‘You’re not, mate, you’re worried... what else did you want to do? Wait, and hope for the best?’

‘I don’t know, that’s why I called you...’

‘Yes, well, I’m saying that you should talk to her about it. I thought you two wanted to work on your relationship... Keeping important things from one another isn’t a good way to start that...’

Harry thanked his friend and hung up.

Slowly he walked up the stairs again, with each step he found it harder to keep going. What if Louis was really sick?

 

 


	67. Chapter 67

 67

 

2015

 

Louis heard Harry come up the stairs. He didn’t know yet how he wanted to tell him,  he didn’t want him to get mad at him again for sleeping around before they got back together, he felt bad about that enough.

As Harry opened the bedroom door, Louis quickly closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep. He needed a plan first before talking to Harry.

 

Harry looked at Louis. His chest rising up and down with each breath he took.   
He sat down at his bedside and gently stroke the hairs out of his face.

He whispered to him, who knows, maybe in his dreams Louis could hear him...

‘You can tell me anything, you know that don’t you?’

Harry’s voice stammered. ‘I love you... we can handle anything right? Just don’t leave me... so whatever it is that you think is wrong... just tell me...’

He placed a tender kiss on Louis’ cheek, stood up and left the room.

 

Louis opened his eyes. What had he done? Harry must have overheard his phone call to Dana, and now he thought there was something wrong!

He sat up and got out of bed.

There was no going back now, he needed to talk to Harry, now the only thing he could do was pray that he wouldn’t get too angry at him.

 

Harry sat on the couch with his head in his hands. He was still enormously tired from the long flight but didn’t allow himself to give in on that.

There were more important things, way more... He didn’t know what he would do if it turned out that Louis was really sick. He only had him back for not even a day... He knew he couldn’t take it if he’d lost him again.

When the door opened and Louis walked in, he looked at him, eyes widened.

 

‘What are you doing out of bed?’

‘I’m not tired Haz...’ Louis spoke softly. Harry looked at him questionably.

Just as Louis sat down beside him and wanted to speak, Harry stopped him.

‘No! Wait, before you say anything...’

Harry didn’t know what he was doing but he wasn’t sure if he could cope with what Louis was about to say.

‘I love you... you know that right?’

‘I know Haz, just let me talk okay?’

‘No... not before I tell you that... you don’t have to be scared okay? Whatever it is, we can deal with it, together, right?’

 

Gosh, this was going to be harder then he thought... Louis took a deep breath and look Harry in the eye. He looked so worried.

‘I’m not sick... really, I’m not!’

‘You don’t have to lie to me babe, I’m here for you...’

Louis sighed. ‘Harry, listen: I’m NOT sick, not... I’m not dying or anything!’

He gave him a questioning look.

‘You’re not sick?’ Harry said. ‘But you were throwing up and...’

‘Please Haz, let me try to explain!’ Louis interrupted.

‘It’s the antibiotics okay? I didn’t want to tell you because I know it’s a sore subject, but I’m still on these bloody antibiotics and they keep making me sick. But it’s just for two more days so I’ll be fine. And I know I should’ve brought it up sooner and I need to know if you got tested yet and if so, what the doctor said, but I was scared okay? You got so angry the last time and I just got you back...’

Louis looked at Harry, nervous about what he was going to say.

 

 


	68. Chapter 68

 68

 

2015

 

Still no reply, Harry looked at Louis but had been quiet for too long now.

‘I...’ Harry started but was cut off by Louis again. ‘Listen, I know you must be thinking all sort of things now, like why I didn’t tell you before, but you understand, right? I mean, you didn’t take it well the last time I tried to tell you...’

‘Stop!’ Harry said, holding his hands up making a gesture so Louis would stop talking.

‘Please, let me say something...’

‘Sorry...’ Louis mumbled. ‘I just really need you to understand, that’s all...’

‘It’s okay, just let me talk now okay?’ Harry said looking Louis deeply in the eyes.

‘You are okay?’

Louis didn’t reply. ‘You are. Like, you’re not seriously ill?’ He asked again.

Louis looked at him with widened eyes. ‘No... NO! Did you think I was... NO. I’m fine. Just the bloody side effects of these pills!’

‘You’re...’

‘Fine’ Louis finished the sentence.

Harry broke their engaged look and stared at his feet. ‘You’re sure?’

Once again Louis nodded.

 

Now Harry’s look changed. ‘You are just fine.’

‘Well yeah, I mean I had that stupid STD but after this cure is finished I’ll be just fine. This is what I was trying to tell you back in the US you know...’

‘You could have said something...’

‘Are you mad at me?’ Louis asked with puppy eyes.

‘No, no... I’m confused that’s all.’

Louis reached out and grabbed Harry’s hand.

‘Confused... okay. But like, you understand, right? And did you get yourself tested?’

 

Harry looked him in the eye again and nodded. For the first time since Harry had gotten back home, Louis looked into his eyes again knowing what he felt. Finally his Harry was back, really back.

Louis smiled and touched his cheek with his free hand.

Harry didn’t verbally answer his question, he just smiled.

 

‘I did... yeah I’m fine strangely enough. And you’ll be too...’

Relieved with Harry’s response Louis let go of his hand to brush his own hair out of his face. He hear a soft sobbing sound and looked up at Harry again.

Harry hadn’t moved, he was still sitting on the couch, his elbows on his knees and his hands covering his face.

A vague smile appeared on Louis’ face. Gently he moved closer to Harry on the couch.

‘Hey...’ he said. Putting his arms around Harry and pulling him as close as he possible could.

Making soothing circles with his hand on Harry’s back while whispering hushing words.

A loud cry escaped from Harry as he buried his head in the crook of Louis’ neck.

Louis could feel Harry’s tears against his bare skin and t-shirt.

He gently put his hands on Harry’s face and forced him to look at him.

Louis’ eyes interlocked with his, tears still streaming down his face.

 

‘What are you crying for, hey? You said you were okay...’

‘I-I... I am...’ Harry stuttered

Louis let his fingers stroke Harry’s cheeks to remove the tears.

Tears kept rolling down his cheeks. Louis had seen him cry before, but never like this.

He felt a tear roll down his own cheek as well, Louis had a week spot for men in general who cried, but to see this man cry, and knowing why he was crying...

 

‘What are you thinking about?’ Louis asked.

Harry gave him an awkward smile. ‘Nothing. Just happy you’re okay...’ 

But then Harry sighed and added. ‘But this was apparently a big deal to you if you didn’t want to talk to me about it. Do you feel guilty? Is that it? Is that why you took me back?’

 

Louis’ eyes widened. ‘Honestly Haz. I have thought about that too. I even considered not taking you back...’

This time it was Harry who widened his eyes.

‘As I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be in a relationship that needed so much work... and after talking to Jeremy, for a moment there I really thought you went back to him. But I think deep down I just knew. That we would be okay even with all the drama that has been going on lately. And I was scared of talking to you about all this because you got so mad at me last time, but I know you didn’t really mean that...’

 

It was all a bit overwhelming for Harry, he didn’t know just quite what to say or do.

‘Don’t get me wrong Lou. I am really happy with us and now that the whole situations is cleared up... but I think I need to have a moment to myself... I’m going to take a walk... okay?’

Louis was surprised. ‘Do I need to get worried?’ he asked.

Harry shook his head. ‘No, I´ll be back in a bit. Don´t worry.´

He leaned forward and placed a kiss on Louis’ forehead. Then walked into the hallway, grabbed his coat and left.

Louis was astonished. Sitting by himself on the couch. Even though Harry had told him not to worry he couldn´t help but to do so.

Why did he leave him alone?

 


	69. Chapter 69

 69

 

2015

 

Louis didn’t know what to do. He kept looking at the damn clock, hoping, praying that with every minute that had passed by, the chance of Harry getting home would increase.

What was taking him so long? And why did he leave in the first place?

Sure he knew Harry, and he knew that he often needed some time to think things over, be left alone for a moment. But leave on a moment like this?

No, he never thought Harry would do that. He’d expected him to be either okay or angry ‘cause he’d told him only now, but never had he imagined anything like this would happen.

Did he need to worry?

 

One more time Louis glanced at the clock. He stood up and walked to the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of him walking towards him down the street.

He went back to the couch and sat down on it. Grabbed the remote control and started flipping through the channels until he found something to watch.

He was going to sit and wait for Harry to get back, no matter how long it would take.

 

Harry walked around for a bit and ended at his own place.

There he sat down, trying to reminisce the lot.

He thought about calling one of the band mates for advice. The thought of calling his sister crossed his mind as well, but soon he realised that this was something he needed to figure out on his own.

What was it he wanted?  
He had been praying with every fibre in his body that Louis would take him back.

And now he had, he was sitting on a chair in his own house, by himself.

Something was wrong with this picture.

 

But he didn’t really knew if going back home to Louis would fix it.

He let all the different thoughts pass the revue, and realised he needed to listen to what his heart said.

What did he really want? That was an easy question, but the answer was a lot harder.

He wanted Louis, all of him, with him, forever. At least, that was what his heart told him. It was basically as simple as that: he wanted Louis, knowing it would be unbearable to live without him once again.

He really wanted to spent his life with him, even though it probably meant making sacrifices. That’s what a good relationship is all about in the end, giving _and_ taking.

He needed to forget what had happened in the past and move forward, and most of all, he needed to stop leaving Louis behind.

Right at that moment he decided it was time to go back home. _Home_ he thought... That sounds pretty good.


	70. Chapter 70

 70

 

2015

 

‘Hello?’

Louis hesitated before speaking. ‘Liam? It’s Louis. I’m sorry to be bothering you on this hour...’

‘Louis?’ he could hear the surprise in Liam’s voice. ‘Why are you calling?’

‘Erm... Did you talk to Harry by any chance?’

He had waited and waited, but since it was getting late, he was getting a bit desperate. He needed to know where he was.

‘Harry? No, I haven’t why?’

Once again Louis hesitated. ‘Nothing, I was just wondering...’

‘Everything okay?’

‘Sure... sure. I was just looking for him and he has his cell turned off.’

‘Right. Did you two make up?’

Louis nodded, but realised that he was talking over the phone and that Liam couldn’t see that.

‘Yeah’ he said. ‘I think so.’

‘That doesn’t sound too convincing.’

Liam was right. It didn’t sound convincing at all.

‘I just wish I knew where he was...’ Louis spoke softly, letting a sigh escape from his mouth.

 

‘What do you mean _where he is_? Did he walk out on you again?’

Louis could hear the disbelieve in his voice. He nodded.

‘Did he?’ Liam asked again.

‘Yeah, sorry... I nodded...’ Louis replied fast, shaking his head realising Liam couldn’t see him nod.

‘Maybe he just needed time to think...’ Liam tried to imply.

‘Like we haven’t spend enough time apart to think things over!’

The words came out before Louis could bite his tongue.

But it was the truth and maybe it needed to be said.

 

‘I know Louis. Listen, I really hope you two will sort things out, just so you know, I was there when he found out that you left him and I must say, I’ve never seen him like that. He really loves you, just keep that in mind...’

Once again Louis sighed. ‘I know... loving was never the problem... But thanks Liam, I’ll just sit and wait I guess...’

 

Harry hesitated before turning the key. The lights were still on so he assumed Louis was still up waiting for him.

He took a glimpse at his watch, 2 am. Blimey, it had taken him longer to make his way back then he thought.

He stepped in the house, that still had a vague smell of newness about it. It smelled of paint, new fabrics, not really like _home_.

He could hear the TV in the living room, Louis probably hadn’t heard him come in, or else he would have said something, right?

Harry took his coat and shoes off and left them in the hallway, slowly making his way to the living room, knowing it was time to come clean to Louis.

He stood in the doorpost when he saw his boyfriend lying on the couch, eyes closed, his cell phone firmly held by his hand.

 

‘Loubear?’ he whispered and walked towards him.

When he came closer he noticed Louis had been crying. He could see the stripes of dried tears on his cheeks. Louis had probably be waiting for him, or at least to hear from him and he hadn’t called. Harry wanted to talk to him, wanting to make everything alright.   
But he didn’t had the nerve to wake him.

Gently he placed his hand on Louis’ arm. His skin felt soft, but cold.

 

For a moment he wondered what to do. Seeing Louis, sleeping in such serenity, he looked so beautiful Harry fought the urge to wake and kiss him.

There were a few things he could do, first he could wake him, but that didn’t seem right. After all he was probably exhausted, he had a rough day with feeling ill and needed his sleep.

Then there was the option to carry Louis up the stairs and put him into bed.

But what if he would wake? No, that wasn’t the right thing to do.

So Harry went upstairs, grabbed the blanket from the bed and went back down again.

Gently he tucked Louis in, he moved for a short moment but never woke.

Harry wondered what to do next. He couldn’t just go to bed and let Louis sleep downstairs alone, could he?

Then Louis would wake, thinking he’d still hadn’t come back.

So he decided to stay with him, but where? Harry wanted to hold him so badly, but what if Louis wouldn’t want to?

 

Harry thought about it for another brief moment and crawled on to the couch.

Holding him, making sure he couldn’t fall off, he lay down beside Louis.

Pulling the blanket around him he took Louis firmly in his arms, pulling him close.

Still asleep, Louis reacted by nuzzling his head on Harry’s chest, murmuring something he couldn’t really make out.

Harry let his lips brush again his forehead. ‘I love you...’ he softly whispered.

Louis let out a deep breath, it was as if he could hear Harry and was relieved that he said those three words. Harry closed his eyes, telling himself that it was a stupid thing to think, after all Louis was fast asleep. But then his eyes opened again and he smiled when Louis murmured again, hear able this time. ‘Love you too...’

He smiled, placed another kiss on Louis’ forehead and closed his eyes to fall in a deep, deep sleep.

 


	71. Chapter 71

 71

 

2015

 

When Louis woke up he was surprised to find himself in Harry’s arms. He couldn’t remember hearing him come home.

He didn’t really know what to think of Harry laying beside him. A part of him regretted that he hadn’t heard him come home, as they still hadn’t talked and Louis wanted to know where things stood between them.

But the biggest part of him was extremely happy finding himself in his arms again, and it was that very thought that scared him the most.

 

Was he making too much of a deal out of this already?

Maybe Harry didn’t mean to imply that everything was alright again, maybe that was just Louis’ own thinking, but lying here, safe in his arms, made Louis’ mind go blurry.  
It all felt so good. They fitted so well together.

But still, Harry had left him alone last night, not knowing where he went or how long he’d stayed out.

And Louis had been worrying practically all night. Sure he understood that Harry needed a moment to let everything sink in, but if they wanted to make their relationship work, Harry needed to understand that sometimes, things needed to be discussed. And that running away was not the best solution to do so.

Without waking him, Louis sat up, stretched his arms high above his head and got up.

 

As silently as possible, Louis went up the stairs, took a shower, got dressed and went back downstairs to the kitchen.

He was starving. He couldn’t remember the last time he ate.

When he had decided what he wanted to have, he grabbed a plate and reached for the bread.

Just as he was about to take a bite from his home-made sandwich he felt two hands on his hips, startled and dropped the sandwich on the counter.

 

‘Sorry... didn’t mean to scare you...’

Louis stared at his fallen sandwich.

‘That’s okay...’ he said in a muffled voice. Not completely sure how to react to the sudden contact Harry was looking for.

‘How did you sleep?’ Harry asked.

‘Okay, I guess... would have slept better if I knew you’d gotten home...’

Louis kept staring at the counter.

‘You looked so at peace, didn’t had the nerve to wake you...’

Harry dropped his hands. ‘Can we talk?’ he said in with a deep voice, something he always did when he got serious.

Louis didn’t know what to expect, but he did want to talk. So he put his sandwich back on his plate and walked over to the dinner table.

 

 

When Harry had woken up and heard Louis in the kitchen, he didn’t know what to do.  
He sat there, knowing that there was no way he could postpone the talk they needed to have. He glanced around and saw a picture of them on the shelf next to the couch.

Quickly he got to his feet and walked towards the kitchen. Louis was facing him with his back. He’d apparently showered and changed, as his hair was wet and the clothes he was wearing were different from the clothes he had been sleeping in.

Harry placed his hands on Louis’ hips, hoping he’d turn around and kiss him.

But Louis startled and dropped his bread. Reluctantly Harry pulled his hands back. He never intended to scare him.

 

Louis’ reaction wasn’t what he’d hoped it would be so he suggested they would talk. Louis agreed and walked past him to the dinner table.

Harry followed him and sat down on the opposite side of the table.

 

‘Where were you?’ Louis asked, giving him a stern look.

‘I went to my house...’ he softly answered. ‘Loubear, listen. I’ve been thinking...’

‘So have I’ Louis interrupted.

Harry looked at him. ‘You want to go first?’ he asked.

Louis shook his head. ‘No, it’s fine. You talk first.’

‘Okay. Erm... I don’t really know where to start, but I’ll just start talking and if I’m not making any sense, just say so...’

Louis nodded, not wanting to interrupt him again.

 

‘Alright. So I went back to my place and thought about things.’

There was a short pause before he continued.

‘You know me. I mean, you really _know_ me. Or at least, I thought you did...’

‘I do!’ Louis said hastily.

‘I know you do. But if you really knew me, then you would never have thought that I would have gone back to Jeremy...’

Louis opened his mouth again to speak but before he could start, Harry quickly continued.

‘I know, he made it look like it, and I understand that was confusing but you should have trusted me and you didn’t...’

He saw Louis stare at the table.

‘I’m not saying I don’t understand, I mean when it comes to trusting one another, I didn’t trust you either...’

 

Louis looked up again with a puzzled look.

‘Honestly, I didn’t. It all started with me not trusting the way you felt about me. I got angry that you left again, just like I did the first time we met. And that’s because I still don’t trust these feelings...’

A tear rolled down Louis’ cheek.

‘How can you not know that I love you?’ Louis asked, his voice sounded a bit shaky.

‘I know you love me. It’s just...’ Harry swallowed. He felt the urge to cry but he didn’t want to.

‘I know you _say_ you love me... but so did Jer, and look how that turned out! And I’m not comparing you to him, I’m trying to be honest to myself.

And I don’t think it’s your feelings I mistrust, it’s more my own feelings...’

 

Tears kept streaming down Louis’ face.

Harry continued. ‘I know I love you, there’s no question about that. But that’s the problem all the same... I don’t think I deserve your love in return and that makes me uncertain. You are... perfect...’

For a second Louis smiled. ‘No I’m not...’ he said.

‘To me you are, and perhaps I’m not the best you can get... I’m the one you left your home for, you left your family and friends behind, just for me. And what do I do? Push you away... I’m not an expert in this, I haven’t had that many long term relationships. I’ve only shared my house with someone twice, and both times everything seemed to go wrong. I don’t want that to happen to us. I love you and I want to make this work...’

Now he felt a tear run down his own face and quickly removed it with the palm of his hand.

 

‘You’re stupid...’ Louis said.

‘What?’

‘How can you possibly think that you’re not worthy of my loving? Or that you wouldn’t be enough for me? You are my everything... ‘

 

‘Why didn’t you told me you were feeling this way? I didn’t know why you were acting out, if you’d only told me... And you are right about the trusting part but that’s something we can work on, right? Just talk to me next time... you can talk to me about anything... you know that, don’t you?’

Harry nodded, while he was still trying to swallow away the tears.

‘And don’t run off to your place... this is your home now...’

Harry smiled.

‘That other place is just a house...’ he said. ‘Just like this is just a house. You’re my home...’

With that said he couldn’t control his tears any longer.

Hastily Louis jumped up, his chair clashed on the floor. He hurried to Harry’s side and wrapped his arms around him.

‘Don’t cry silly... everything will be alright... You and me... we’ll be fine! And just so you know, you’re the best a man can get. If there’s anyone who should doubt if we deserved one another it should be me... look at you... you’re the best man any man can even dream off. And you’re my home too...’

Gently Louis touched his chin and lifted it up so their lips met.

A soft, loving, longing kiss followed.

 

 


	72. Chapter 72

 72

 

2015

 

Shouldn’t they have been talking more? Louis thought while settling himself on Harry’s lap, one leg on each side of his. Sometimes, he convinced himself, action spoke more than words could.

So Louis continued tugging on clothes while he felt Harry’s tongue on his lips, forcing his mouth open.

They only broke the kiss because they were both out of breath. Gasping for air, their foreheads attached, they looked deep in each other’s eyes.

This was the first real kiss they’d shared since their break up.

‘I’m really sorry for everything...’ Harry said.

Louis interrupted him with a messy kiss.

‘No, I’m sorry...’ he said back.

 

This time it’s Harry who interrupts Louis by kissing him back, pulling him as close as physically possible, knowing that all of that didn’t matter. They were both sorry, so no arguing about that, they were alone now, that was all that mattered.

Louis broke the kiss and without hesitating, jumped off Harry’s lap. Taking his hand in his own, dragging him through the hallway, up the stairs and into the bedroom.

Closing the bedroom door, Louis turned around to face his boyfriend. He took another glance at Harry before wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck and pulling him in for yet another breathtaking kiss. This time it was Harry who pulled away first.

 

‘Can we do this?’ Harry whispered, still trying to catch his breath.

Louis could only nod, he wasn’t quite able to speak yet.

‘Sure? I mean... shouldn’t we talk...’

Louis smiled and took another moment before finally answering him.

‘It’s fine. Really...’

Harry was glad Louis said that as he wasn’t sure if he could have controlled himself otherwise. But since Louis told him it was okay, Harry put his hand behind Louis’ head and pulled him into another kiss.

‘I want you so much...’ he sighed into Louis’ mouth.

 

Louis started to pull at the remaining buttons on Harry’s shirt. Completely careless, yanking it off his shoulders, letting his hands roam Harry’s upper body.

‘I know, I know, I know... Me too...’

Hearing that gave Harry enough reason to push Louis against the door. Pulling his shirt over his head, managed to get it tangled in Louis’ arms, so Harry ripped it off in frustration.

The sound of tearing material sounded, but neither one of them cared.

Harry plunged into Louis’ neck. Not gentle anymore. He bit and sucked until he knew he had branded Louis with his mark then softly kissed the bruise he’s left.

Louis gasped when Harry kissed his was down to his chest and tummy.

‘Feels... so... good...’ he breathed, knowing it sounded ridiculous but he didn’t care.

 

Louis fumbled with the buttons of Harry’s jeans, gently stroking his fingers over Harry’s lower stomach ending at the small trail of hair below the waistband.

Just as Louis lowered his hand resting it on the bulge pressing through Harry’s jeans, Harry reached around and forcefully took Louis’ bum in his hands. Louis obeyed the unspoken command by jumping up and wrapping his legs around his waist.

As Harry lay him down onto the bed, Louis could feel the stubble-burn on his lips, he whimpered a bit as Harry lay down on top of him.

It took less than a minute before the rest of their clothes were shed.

Then suddenly Harry stopped, lifting himself a bit up and looked up.

Louis’ eyes met with his, he could see the lust, love and everything in between in those glistering green eyes and felt that he wass about to lose control.

‘You okay?’ Harry asked, brushing his nose against Louis’.

‘Never better... just don’t stop...’

 

They were completely exhausted. Louis lay still with his eyes closed trying to regain some of his energy.

‘You’re heavy...’ he whispered to his lover who was still covering his body with his own.

‘Sorry...’ Harry mumbled and he tried to move.

‘Don’t!’ Louis kept him in place.

‘I never said you could move... I like this... it’s comfy...’

Harry let out a soft giggle.

‘What time is it?’ Louis asked.

Harry lifted his head up and looked at the alarm clock. ‘Barely afternoon... why?’

Gently Louis ran his hand through Harry’s curls.

‘Do you need to be somewhere else today?’

Harry shook his head. ‘No, I don’t think so no...’

‘In that case, could you just lay here with me all day. Just don’t let go of me, will you?’

Harry smiled and placed a kiss on his forehead. ‘That can be arranged, no problem.’

 


	73. Chapter 73

 73

 

2015

 

‘Morning love.’ Harry said the following morning.

Louis’ eyes slowly opened. Harry lay on his side, gently brushing the hair out of his lover’s face. Louis loved the feel of Harry’s fingertips on his skin and softly sighed.

‘Good morning. How did you sleep?’ he asked.

‘I barely slept...’

Louis frowned. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing,’ Harry smiled. ‘I was just enjoying watching you sleep.’

Louis smiled back. ‘You should get some rest though...’

‘I know. I just missed having you beside me.’

Louis yawned, stretched his arms in the air and sat up. He placed a kiss on Harry’s cheek.

‘Missed you too. Now, I’m going to get a shower...’

 

He was already out of bed when Harry got up and followed him.

Louis giggled. ‘No, no, no! We both know what happens when you join me...’

Harry cocked an eyebrow. ‘And? What’s wrong with that?’

‘Nothing. But we have plenty of time for that later, I’ve got other plans for today!’

Harry pouted.

‘Don’t give me that look Mr. Styles!’

It was hard to resist but Louis quickly ran into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

‘You know...’ he shouted through the door. ‘Why don’t you give Liam a call to let him know we’re alright. And that if you guys need to finish the album, I won’t be in the way...’

 

Harry shrugged and went back to the bed, sat down on the edge and grabbed his phone.

He waited for Liam to answer.

‘Hey mate, are you back home?’

‘Hi Li. Yeah, I’m home.’

‘You know Lou called me the other day, said you hadn’t come home yet... where did you disappear to?’

‘My own place, I just needed to clear my mind. But that’s why I’m calling...’

‘Aaaah!’ Liam said full of enthusiasm. ‘You’re going to tell me you’re back together!’

Harry laughed. ‘You just read my mind!’

‘Good, good. I’m really happy to hear that mate. This time, try to not screw it up immediately!’

‘I won’t. Hey Li?’ ‘Yeah?’

‘Louis said that if you need me, you know, to finish the album, I’m all yours!’

‘Did he? Does he want to get rid of you already?’ Liam answered laughing.

His laugh always worked contagious.

‘No!’ Harry laughed.

‘We’re back together and we’re really good again. And that does mean that we can do things separately from each other...’

‘Alright, alright...’ Liam said. ‘Well, I’ll ask the others when they’re free, so let me get back to you about that.’

‘Sure. And Liam?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Thanks for everything...’

‘You’re welcome mate!’

 

Harry hang up the phone and let himself fall back on the bed. He felt incredibly happy.

He got Louis back, they were happy again and his band was going to release a new album

It was like all his dreams had come true in once.

He heard the door squeak and looked up. Louis walked in the room, his head bowed forward, while he was trying to dry his hair with a towel.

He’d totally neglected to put on any clothes, which Harry didn’t mind, he shamelessly  admired the view.

 

‘You know...’ Louis began without looking up. ‘With the new album coming up, you must start planning tour dates... we should talk to the guys about that if we want to go on that holiday we talked about last night...’

He listened to Louis but didn’t really hear him. He was way too preoccupied watching him move across the room.

Finally Louis looked up.

‘Are you listening to me?’ he said.

Harry’s eyes met his. ‘Sorry?’ he said.

‘A penny for your thought...’ Louis answered.

‘Erm... nothing, what were you saying again?’

Louis snickered while he walked towards Harry and put his arms around his neck. ‘Are you blushing?’

Harry shook his head.

‘What were you thinking of?’

‘You!’

‘Really?’ Louis said with a cheeky smile on his face. ‘I thought so.’

 

Louis leaned in and kissed him, then quickly pulled away.

‘But we are so not going there right now! You need to take a shower as we need to get going!’

Harry frowned. ‘Where are we going?’

‘I’m not saying yet, go on! Get your shower or else I’ll be going alone!’

Harry gave him a quick peck on the lips and got up.

‘You better be dressed when I’ve finished showering, or else I can guarantee you that we will not be going anywhere!’

 


	74. Chapter 74

 74

 

2015

 

‘Where are we going?’ Harry asked for the thousands time.

‘Wait and see...’ Louis answered and kept walking on high speed.

‘At least tell me what’s the rush?’

Louis grabbed his hand and dragged him along, only increasing his walking speed.

‘Just hurry or else we’ll be too late...’

‘Too late for what?’ Harry was now almost running to keep up with his boyfriend.

Finally Louis stopped.

‘We made it!’ he said overexcited.

 

Harry still didn’t get it and looked around. ‘Made what?’

‘Mr. Tomlinson?’ a man in a dark suit approached them.

‘Yes, that’s me. Thank you so much once again.’

‘It’s my pleasure sir. Now if you can walk with me...’

He began to walk and Harry looked questioningly at Louis.

‘Who’s this man and where is he taking us?’

Louis started to giggle. ‘I thought you wanted to learn how to trust me...’

Harry rolled his eyes and walked along.

 

They ended at water side of the Thames, in front of a small boat.

The man helped Louis on it who looked over his shoulder to Harry.

‘You coming or what?’ he said reluctantly.

Harry hopped on board, still not knowing where this all would lead but he decided to go along with anything. After all, Louis was right, he just had to trust him on this.

He smiled when he saw a table for two.

‘Could I intrigue you to have lunch with me?’ Louis asked and wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist.

Harry kissed his temple, then walked to the table and sat down.

‘When did you do all this?’ Harry asked.

‘I got the idea late last night, but made the arrangements this morning while you were taking a shower.’

‘On such short notice?’

‘Yeah, well. Sometimes it pays off to be famous!’ Louis answered laughing.

Harry had missed that smile.

 

They could hear the engine start and soon they were floating around the Thames.

When they’d finished their lunch, they went onto the deck and enjoyed the lovely view.

‘This is lovely...’ Harry pleaded.

‘I know...’

He had his arms firmly wrapped around Louis and pulled him into a kiss.

‘You know what?’ Louis said when he pulled away. ‘When we get home, we should call a removal agency to help us clear your place out.’

Harry buried his head in the crook of his neck.

‘We should!’

 

They got back to the shore and got off the boat.

‘So, where to now?’ Harry asked.

‘Let me just make a quick call and I’ll be right back...’ Louis said.

‘What? No more surprises okay?’

Louis left him with a cheeky smile on his face.

It didn’t take him long to get back.

‘So?’ Harry asked. ‘What else do you have planned?’

‘Nothing... well maybe a little something but nothing much. Let’s get going!’

Harry sighed as he walked with his boyfriend once again.

‘You’re obviously not going to tell me where we are going this time are you?’

Louis laughed and shook his head.   
But when they turned the corner, Harry recognized the street.

  
‘You’re taking me to the LAMDA, aren’t you?’ he said with a grin on his face.

‘Don’t look so pleased with yourself for finding out where I’m taking you...’   
Louis replied.

Harry took a quick look on his watch. ‘Isn’t it closed by now though?’   
Louis shook his head. ‘Why do you think I was making a call earlier...’   
Harry snickered. ‘Right! What is it you want to show me there anyway? Are you going to perform for me?’ He kept on laughing.   
‘Well I’m certainly not giving you the show you’re hoping for!’ Louis teased back.   
They walked up the stairs and entered the building.

  
‘Thanks Jim for keeping this place open.’

‘You’re welcome Louis. Just let me know when you’re ready to leave. I’ll be right down here!’   
Louis thanked the clerk again and hurried to the elevator.   
‘Now you just hold on, I’m sure you’re going to love this!’   
Harry wasn’t going to argue with that, for some reason he was sure Louis was going to surprise him once again.   
‘There we go!’ Louis said when they reached the top floor. ‘This way!’   
Harry followed him without questioning. Louis entered the furthest classroom and closed the door behind them.

‘Now what?’ Harry asked.   
‘Look up...’

  
Harry did as told and saw a string hanging from the ceiling.

‘Pull it, carefully though...’   
Again he did as told and it appeared to be an opening to go up to the roof. As he pulled the string, a ladder came down.   
‘Up we go!’ Louis said with the biggest smile. Harry went up first, followed by Louis who admired the view of watching his boyfriend climbing up a ladder.   
‘Wow...’ he heard Harry say just as he reached the top step.   
‘I know...’ Louis said, standing behind him, wrapping his arms around Harry’s waist. ‘It’s pretty isn’t it. Dana and I used to get up here a lot. It was our secret hide-away. Look at that view...’

  
There was a moment of silence in which they both enjoyed the view over the centre of London.   
‘Hey Loubear?’

‘Yeah?’ Louis placed a kiss in between Harry’s shoulder blades.

‘Why are you doing all this? Not that I don’t appreciate it, I’ve loved every single moment of today, but why? Am I forgetting something here? Is today a special day that I don’t know of?’   
Louis laughed shortly. ‘Every day with you is special, just so you know. And well, today isn’t a really special day, but tomorrow is and I wanted to start it already this evening...’

  
Harry turned around to face him and frowned. ‘What is important about tomorrow?’   
Again a smile showed on Louis’ face.

‘Haz, what is the date today?’   
He thought but had to come to the conclusion that he wasn’t quite sure what the date was.

‘It’s the thirteenth... February the thirteenth, which means that tomorrow...’   
Harry’s eyes suddenly enlarged.

‘Is Valentine’s day! Oh God I’m stupid!’   
Louis shook his head. ‘No, you’re not!’   
‘Yes, I am! I totally forgot... you did all this, which I was never going to top to begin with, but I didn’t even buy you a present!’

  
‘I don’t need a gift. I have you and that’s way more important!’   
Louis leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

‘I promise I’ll make tomorrow special for you babe, can’t believe I forgot that. Just with all that has been going on... I think it just never really crossed my mind you know?’   
‘I know. Don’t sweat about it. Us being here is perfect enough for me.’   
‘Well, happy valentine’s night then.’   
They kissed again. The kiss lasted for minutes until they heard shouting from below.   
‘Louis? Sorry to interfere but I really have to close this place now...’   
Louis sighed. ‘We’re coming Jim!’   
‘Well... there went our perfect evening...’ he sighed again.

‘Well, the evening has only just begun you know. Let’s start by having dinner somewhere fancy and ending this night by going to bed early...’   
Harry grabbed his hand and helped his boyfriend onto the staircase.

‘That sounds perfect to me’ Louis replied with a kiss when they stood in the classroom again.   
‘Great, then let’s go!’


	75. Chapter 75

 75

 

2015

 

Louis woke up the next morning, his arm slung around Harry. He could feel  Harry breathe deeply. That confirmed that he was still asleep.

Yesterday had been one of the best days of his life. Now Louis was nuzzling his head against Harry’s back, planting butterfly kisses wherever he could possibly reach.

Harry stirred a bit, making a sound that looked a bit like a purring kitten.

‘Morning...’ he mumbled and turned around to face Louis.

‘Good morning!’ Louis replied with a grin on his face.

Harry yawned and stretched his arms high above him. ‘What time is it?’

‘Early.’

‘Then why are we up? If my memories serves me correctly we went to sleep pretty late...’

 

Harry gently rubbed Louis’ lower back.

‘I know... but can you blame a guy to want to look in his beautiful boyfriends eyes...I think you should try and sleep with your eyes open!’

Harry gave him a quick peck on his cheek.

‘You’re sweet’ he said.

‘So are you. Happy Valentine’s day!’

That made Harry sit right up and rub his eyes franticly.

‘Damn, see... I almost forgot again!’

He stood up and hurried towards the bathroom. ‘Thanks for waking me!’

 

‘Where are you going?’ Louis said in a loud voice while covering himself with the blanket.

‘Make this Valentine’s day special!’ he replied.

Louis shrugged his shoulders. ‘Being here with you is kind off perfect enough to me...’

Louis waited while he heard the water running. When Harry came back into the bedroom, with wet hair and a towel ‘round his waist, he smiled.

‘Honestly, just get back into bed and my day’s perfect... I don’t need cheesy Valentine’s things...’

Louis pouted, hoping that it would convince him to dive straight into bed.

 

Harry quickly gathered some clothes around and got dressed.

‘Save the pouting for later! I’ll be back a.s.a.p.!’

He leaned over, gave Louis a kiss and quickly hurried downstairs.

Louis could hear the door close behind him and sighed.

While he waited for Harry to get back home, he took a shower, did a bit of cleaning and started to relocate some boxes that he still hadn’t opened since he’d moved in.

They were all standing in the room next to their bedroom, Louis looked at the room and the thought of the room being the perfect room for a baby entered his mind. He shook his head at the thought and murmured _‘one step at a time’_ to himself as he started to unpack.

 

When Harry came back, Louis didn’t even hear him enter the room. He was too busy singing along with the music on the radio.

Harry turned off the radio leaving Louis singing by himself, quickly shutting up the moment he heard that the music had stopped.

‘Oh, don’t stop singing on my account!’ Harry said, while leaning his shoulder against the doorpost. Louis turned around and gave him an evil look.

‘Hey, don’t look at me like that, honestly, you’re not that bad!’

‘Ha-ha!’ Louis answered sarcastically.

‘You’re clearing out this room first, why?’

‘It’s just the place where I stored most of the boxes... But I thought one day it might make a good nursery?’ Louis blushed and his voice got quieter towards the end of his sentence.

‘You’re cute. And yes, this would make a lovely nursery.’

 

Louis stood up, brushed the dust from his clothes and walked over to him.

‘I know it’s something we should discuss in the future, I just thought of it you know. No pressure, promised! Now, you’re finished with whatever it was you were doing? ‘Cause I really thought we got up too early...’

Harry snickered. ‘Me too. But before you go and plan this day... here’s my Valentine’s gift!’

He handed Louis an envelope. Louis raised his eyebrows and looked at him.

‘Seriously... it took you three hours to get me a card? Seriously?’

Harry rolled his eyes. ‘Just open it, okay...’

 

Louis shrugged his shoulders and opened the envelope, revealing the ultimate cheesy Valentine’s card. The worst he’d ever seen.

On the front it said ‘I love you’ the card was red and covered with pink hearts, when he opened it, it said ‘Will you be my Valentine?’

Louis smiled.

‘What? You don’t like the card?’

Louis shook his head. ‘I like it alright, it’s a bit cheesy, but I like it. What’s this?’ he asked while looking at the two tickets, carefully fold into the card.

‘These’ Harry said with a pause. ‘These are the ultimate Valentine’s day date tickets...’

‘No way!’ Louis said laughing. ‘Well, we never actually had a real date have we? And the only time I can recall us going to the cinema was on your premiere night, and we weren’t going together that day...’

‘You’re cute!’ Louis gave him a quick peck on the lips and took his hand.

‘Well, let’s get going. And start the ultimate cheesy Valentine’s day!’

 

 

 

 

Laughing they walked back to their home.

‘I can’t believe how you planned this day without planning it!’ Louis said.

‘I know... and all those people doing the exact same thing! Kind off sad, that people only do this on Valentine’s day though...’

‘What do you mean? People should always buy tickets to the movies when they have absolutely no intension of watching? I mean, can you recall what the movie was about?’ Louis answer giggling.

‘No, don’t think anyone else there could either! But that’s the thing. Why do we need a certain day of the year to express our love to one another? And why should it be on a cold day in February?’

 

Harry shivered and put his hands deep in his pockets.

‘Well, I don’t know why it is just one day a year, but I do understand why they chose February...’

‘Why is it then according to you?’

Louis grabbed his arm which made Harry stop walking, leaned over and whispered in his ear. ‘So we can warm each other up during the night...’

Harry smiled. ‘I see... well I must say, after the movie, dinner and that nightclub, I think I’m too tired to warm anyone up!’

Louis pinched him in the side which made Harry laugh and playfully pinch back.

‘We wanted the ultimate Valentine’s day, better said, YOU wanted that. And you know what mister?’

‘What?’

‘That means you’re getting the ultimate Valentine’s day ending, whether you like it or not!’

 


	76. Chapter 76

 76

 

2015

 

The next following days, they tried to continue the life they had before they’d split up. They called a movers company, and turned Louis’ house into _their_ home.

Just a week after Harry got home, he had to go back into the studios to finish the album. Not much needed to be done, but they wanted to finish things.

It was later that day that Harry called Louis to tell him they’d finished everything and they would be having dinner with the lads to celebrate.

Louis was excited. This was the first time he would see the guys (and their wife’s) since he picked Harry up from the airport.

Excited and a bit scared.

After all, if it hadn’t been for him, things would have gone smoother, easier and he felt like he had some making up to do.

 

Harry had told him not to worry about it, he had talked it out with them, but still.

Not that there was anything he could do but apologise.

Louis took his time to pick something to wear. He had never really felt good about the way he looked, there had always been a million things he’d liked to change, but Harry made him feel good about himself and gave him a lot more confidence.

Satisfied with the way he looked, he went downstairs, trying not to trip over all the boxes that were still standing in the hallway.

 

His phone rang, quickly he grabbed it out of his pocket, he wasn’t late was he?

‘Lou? It’s Sophia, Liam’s wife.’

A bit surprised Louis replied.

‘Oh, hi Sophia. How are you?’

‘Good thank you.’

‘I was just on my way out to go to the restaurant.’

‘That’s why I’m calling, you want a ride?’

‘Erm... sure, I was going to take the bus so I’d love to get a ride! Thank you.’

‘I’ll be there in five minutes.’

 

Louis hang up. He hadn’t expected that at all, but it was a nice surprise.

The moment Sophia’s car entered the street, Louis grabbed his coat and made his way outside.

They gave each other a kiss on the cheek and started driving.

‘This is really sweet of you!’ Louis said.

‘No problem.’

‘Sophia, may I ask you something?’

‘Sure, what’s up?’

‘Was Liam mad at me?’

A soft smile lingered on Sophia’s face.

‘No, he wasn’t too happy with the tumult of everything, but that’s more because he cares about Harry. He wasn’t mad at all.’

Louis sighed in relief.

‘That’s good to know...’

‘Well you know...’ Sophia continued. ‘I think that even if he would have been, I know for a fact that I was happy to have him home earlier!’

She gave Louis the most loving smile, making all his nerves go away.

For a moment he looked at Sophia, smiling right back at him. What a special woman she was, they hadn’t met that often, but Louis could tell she was special and he really hoped they could be friends.

 

They stopped in front a fancy restaurant and got out of the car.

When entering the large building they could already hear Niall’s laughter and Louis laughed along.

‘I told you, nothing to worry about, I believe they’re in a very good mood!’ Sophia grabbed his hand for a moment and gave it a soft squeeze.

Louis felt right at ease, Sophia had that sort of motherly love she showed, and he knew he had nothing to worry about.

Harry’s eyes lit up the moment he saw Louis walking towards the table.

‘Hey beautiful!’ he said standing up to give Louis a warm embrace.

‘That was my line...’ Louis laughed.

He let go and gave Harry a quick peck on the lips.

‘Hi everybody’ Louis said, and he looked across the table. They all said hi back and Louis sat down.

‘How are you Louis?’ Zayn asked.

‘I’m doing good, thank you. Well, I would feel loads better actually, if I could just apologise to you all... I’m really sorry for the mess I made, I can promise you that it won’t happen again.’

‘Yeah we know that Harry’s a bit of a pain, so we can totally understand!’ Zayn joked, everybody laughed. Niall’s laugh towering above everyone else.

 

The atmosphere was relaxed and while dinner was served, jokes were made and Louis felt more and more at ease.

‘So Louis,’ Simon, One Direction’s manager asked while waiting for dessert. ‘Do you have any acting jobs scheduled or will you be able to join us on tour?’

‘Oh you should!’ Perrie, Zayn’s wife added. ‘Would be great having you with us.’

Louis smiled. It felt good to know he was accepted in the group.

‘I have nothing planned, no. Though I’d love to do something. But you guys haven’t set the dates yet, have you?’

He looked questioningly at Harry.

‘Well,’ Simon continued. ‘Not yet, but you know how things go. The moment the album is out, the fans expect the lads to come with a brand new tour. And arena’s have to be booked. So we have to start thinking about it.’

‘I understand’ he replied.

 

‘We were thinking to do a UK-tour only to start off.’ Liam pleaded.

‘Let’s see, we’ll release the album begin March, so I guess touring will be somewhere September, October, right guys?’ Niall added and they all nodded.

That gives us 6 to 7 months to come up with something’ Zayn said. ‘Any ideas?’

Everybody sighed.

‘Not yet Malik. But like you said, we still have some time to think about it!’

 

Louis grabbed Harry’s hand and leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

‘Did you think about our holiday?’

‘Yeah, but with promo stuff and then tour I’m not sure what would be best...’ he whispered back.

‘I know! But maybe... with the tour and all... we can just have a couple of days off. Maybe half way the tour so you can have a break.’

Harry smiled. ‘I’d like that a lot! Though you are going to try and go on tour with me right?’

 

‘You know that whispering while you’re in company is quite rude...’ Liam joked.

‘Knowing them, and those cheeky smiles on their faces, I don’t think I want to know!’ Zayn added.

‘Sorry.’ Harry said. ‘We just had to... erm... We wanted to go on a holiday. But maybe we can find some time in between the tour? Even if it’s just a couple of free days?’

He looked over at Louis. Who smiled and made an encouraging gesture with his head..

Louis grabbed his hand and softly squeezed it.

 

‘What? You finally tricked him into marrying you and you want to run away?’ Liam asked, Sophia hushed her husband.

‘No’ Harry shook his head. ‘Not yet. We just want to spend some time together. Just us.’

 ‘Well... who would have thought!’ Liam said.

‘Finally Styles, was about time you got your shit together!’ Niall pleaded.

Zayn grinned. ‘You just love to mess our schedule up don’t you?!’

Louis got all defensive, starting to apologize when Zayn interrupted.

‘I was just kidding love! We’ll plan it all in, no problem, right lads?’

They all agreed.

It had gotten pretty late so they all decided to call it a night.

 

Louis was knackered, all the anxiety that had brought today was just a bit too much.

‘You look tired...’ Harry said the minute they got home.

‘I am. I was so nervous meeting everybody again!’

‘I told you not to worry about it.’

‘I know Haz. And you were right, they’re a lovely bunch of people!’

They went upstairs and straight into the bedroom.

‘I don’t know how it’s possible, but I feel like I’ve got energy for ten!’ Harry said.  Louis laughed.

‘You’ve been oozing out energy all day! So I guess that means you’re not going to bed yet?’

Harry shrugged. ‘I’ll stay with you ‘till you’re asleep, I think I’ll sort out some of the boxes downstairs. The sooner everything’s tidied up, we can start buying stuff for the other rooms you know?.’

Louis gave him a fond smile, knowing Harry gestured to the nursery Louis had mentioned days before. He crawled into bed and waited for Harry to come lay beside him.

‘You don’t have to stay here you know...’

‘I know, but I want to, now come here and get some sleep!’

‘Yes sir!’ Louis replied while snuggling up against him.

How did he ever get this lucky?

 

 

 

 

 

 


	77. Chapter 77

77.

 2015

 

‘Fuck!’

Harry heard his boyfriend curse and walked up the stairs to the bedroom to see what was wrong. In an hour they were supposed to be at Dana’s house for her birthday party and Harry was waiting for Louis to get ready.

‘You okay in there?’ he asked. He found Louis sitting on the edge of the bed, sitting in his underwear, clothes lying all over the floor.

‘What are you trying to do?’ He couldn’t help but laugh, it looked too funny not to.

‘Stop laughing this isn’t funny!’ Louis pouted.

‘Tell me what’s wrong? Can I help?’

He sat down beside Louis and brushed a lock of hair out of his face. Harry thought his pouting was incredibly cute.

‘I want to wear my jeans to the party...’ Louis sobbed.

‘And?’

Louis let out a sigh. ‘I can’t!’

Harry smiled. ‘Then put something else on... it’s just a birthday party!’

Louis looked at him angry. ‘I want to look nice, it’s a party and I want to look nice!’

 

Harry couldn’t help but laugh again.

‘You look great in anything love. Why can’t you wear your jeans?’

‘Because I’m too fat!’

 ‘You’re not fat.’

‘Then why don’t these fit?!’ Louis threw a pair of black skinny jeans at Harry.

‘Hey Lou?’

‘What?!’ He huffed.

‘I think these are mine... so the not fitting would be normal. Let me find you your own jeans in this mess...’

 

Louis pouted. ‘Sorry... I’ve just been so stressed with the audition for that play that I’m turning into a total ass...’

Harry sighed but smiled back at his boyfriend.

‘Just put on your own jeans, throw on a shirt and then we’ll go, okay?’

Louis nodded though he still didn’t look happy.

Harry gave him a kiss on his forehead and left the bedroom. ‘I’ll wait in the car okay?’

He hoped that would speed Louis up.

 

Patiently he waited, then pressed the horn shortly so Louis knew he had to hurry.

Finally he came down.

‘Hey you? What’s wrong?’ Harry said as he could tell he had been crying.

Louis shrugged his shoulders. ‘I don’t know...’ softly he sobbed.

Harry undid his seatbelt so he could turn slightly to face him. He gently took Louis’ face in his hands.

‘Look at me... go on... I won’t bite...’

Tearful eyes met his.

‘First of all, you look amazing in this outfit, secondly, if you don’t want to go, we can stay at home. And thirdly, I love you. Now get that smile back on that beautiful face of yours!’

A weak smile appeared on Louis’ face.

‘Sorry’ he mumbled.

‘You want to stay home?’ Harry asked. Louis shook his head and sniffed.

‘No, it’s Danes’ birthday, I can’t miss that. Haven’t seen her for far too long now!’

‘Sure?’

Louis nodded. ‘You drive while I’ll try to refrain myself!’

 

They arrived at Dana’s place not long after and rang the doorbell.

‘You made it!’ Dana screamed and hugged her friend the moment she opened the door.

‘I’d never skip your birthday party! Happy birthday sweetheart!’ Louis said and kissed his friend on both cheeks.

Harry followed the example as they entered the house.

‘Oh are you okay?’

Dana looked at Louis.

‘What?’

‘I don’t know love, you look a bit upset...’

 

Louis shook his head. ‘I was being stupid and stressed out over an audition. I’m fine now promised!’

Louis turned towards Harry who immediately put his arm around his boyfriend. Louis was never the best in stressful situations, Harry knew that.

 ‘Stop thinking about that babe. This is a party after all...’

‘Sorry’ Louis mumbled and made his way into the living room which was filled with people.

‘Lou! Over here!’

Louis turned around and saw a smiling Patrick walking towards him. He looked surprised.

‘Patrick? What are you doing here?’

It didn’t take Louis long to find out what was going on. After a short conversation with Patrick, he made his way through the room again to find Dana.

 

‘YOU!’ Louis said and dragged his friend into the kitchen.

‘You didn’t tell me you and Patrick are dating?!’

Dana giggled like a teenage girl. ‘Because I don’t know what we are doing yet!’ ‘What do you mean, you don’t know?’

Again his friend started giggling.

‘We only went out a couple of times, he’s really busy-busy, you know?’

‘And?’

‘And what?’

‘And have you kissed or anything?’

This time his friend turned a red all over her face and tried to hid her face behind her hands.

‘You SO had sex with him!’ Louis said out loud.

Dana hushed him. ‘Can you keep your voice down please?! Like I said, we never said to each other that we were exclusive or anything... so please don’t tell anyone...’

Louis smiled.

‘Well you better make it official... he _is_ at your birthday party after all. And I have a vague feeling he’ll be the last one leaving, _if_ he’s leaving that is!’

At that point, Harry walked into the kitchen.

‘Are you okay babe? Just checking to see if you’re feeling better...’ He walked towards Louis, put his arm around his waist and kissed the top of his head.

‘I’m fine Haz. Thanks for putting up with me, you’re the best.’

‘Aaawww... look at you two!’ Dana said. ‘Who would have thought we’d be standing here today when we first met!’

A soft smile appeared on all their faces.

‘I know’ Louis said.

‘We are the luckiest couple in the world’ Harry added and shared a quick look with Louis.

 


	78. Chapter 78

 78

 

2015

 

The following weeks seemed to fly by.

Both Harry and Louis were extremely busy. Harry had to do all kinds of promotion and Louis got the part for an animated movie he had auditioned for. In between the two found some time to redecorate the house and all the moving-boxes were finally gone.

 

Louis, however, was feeling incredibly insecure about himself lately.

The guys were rehearsing for the new tour and where surrounded by all these beautiful male and female dancers, let alone the massive amount of fans. Harry kept saying he had nothing to worry about, he was the only one he’d even look at. But still.

Proving him wrong, Harry decided it would be a good idea to surprise Louis.

That same evening, while they were getting ready for bed, he told Louis to sit down and close his eyes.

‘What’s this about?’ Louis asked while doing what he was asked to do.

‘It’s a surprise! Don’t peak!’

‘I’m not...’

Louis heard him opening and closing a drawer then walking towards him.

‘Give me your hands’ Harry said.

Louis held them up, anxiously waiting. ‘Can I look already?’

‘Be patient!’

Harry laughed while placing something in Louis’ open hands. Paper, he thought, tickets perhaps?

‘Go on, open your eyes!’

 

‘What’s this?’ Louis asked looking at the envelope in his hands. He looked at Harry questioningly, Harry cocked his head, encouraging Louis to open it.

Slowly he did, not breaking the connection of their eyes.

Louis broke his stare to look inside the envelope and saw a bunch of papers. 

‘What is all this?’ he asked.

‘Look at it...’

Louis let his eyes skim through the papers and his jaw dropped.

 

He felt his eyes burn and tried to swallow away the already forming tears.

‘B-but... is this... adoption?’ he staggered.

‘It’s nothing really, I just thought I’d get the ball rolling. I googeled it and these things happen to take a lot of time. This is what you want right? I’m not forcing something on you?’

‘Oh Haz...’ Louis sighed and wrapped his arms tightly around his neck.

‘I love you so much. Thank you...’

‘For what? It’s not only for you, you know!’

A wider smile appeared on Louis face.

‘I know that silly, but still. Thank you for always looking out for me, and still loving me even when I’m being annoying!’

Harry laughed. ‘You’re not annoying... well not the entire time. And I can’t help it, I love you. And I want this. I want a future with you.’ He said placing his hands on either side of Louis’ face to draw him in to a kiss.

They sat there for a while before laying down, pulling the covers around them.

 


	79. Chapter 79

 79

 

2021 

 

“But I don’t want to go to bed, I want to go with you and daddy!”

Harry bit his lip as he looked at the pouting face that was sitting on his lap.

“This is a grown-up thing alright sweetie. And it’s probably going to be very boring, really...”

“But you said daddy’s going to win a prize!”

“That’s what your daddy wants, but there’s only a slight chance...” Louis interfered lifting the little girl up from Harry’s lap and into his arms.

“But papa said it and he knows everything.”

Louis laughed. “Is that so? Well, we have to see about that. Now you go upstairs, auntie Dana is waiting for you, she said something about watching some movie with princesses and fairies or something.”

 

A big grin appeared on the girls face.

“Put me down, put me down, put me doooooown!!!”

The minute her tiny feet landed on the floor she ran away, up the stairs shouting to Dana she was flying as soon as she could.

Harry laughed. “That always does the trick doesn’t it. Now, you ready to win this thing babe?”

Louis shook his head.

“You shouldn’t expect me to win, ‘cause I probably won’t.”

“Haven’t you heard what our princess said? Papa’s always right, you know?”

“Yeah, well she hasn’t known her papa as long as I have.”

 

The doorbell rang which meant it was time for them to go. Just as they reached the door a high-pitched voice made them stop.

“Daddy waaaait!”

“What’s wrong munchkin?” Louis asked while he watched Lily trying to climb down the stairs.

Once she made it down, she ran towards her parents.

“Here, for you!”

A tiny hand pressed into his, leaving a tiny bag filled with silver glitter behind.

“What’s this sweetie?”

“Pixie-dust.” She stated putting her little hands on her hips.

Louis gave Harry a questioning look.

“It’s for luck. From Tinkerbell. It will make you win that prize daddy.”

Louis bent over and gave her a kiss.

“Thank you very much. I’ll be sure to keep it with me all night. Now be a good girl to aunt Dana okay?”

Lily nodded firmly.

“Okay, bye sweetie. See you in the morning!”

 

“And the BAFTA for best supporting actor goes to...”

Harry squeezed his hand as if he was more nervous than Louis was.

“Louis Tomlinson-Styles, the lake of the dead languages.”

Louis heard someone shout “Yes!” and kiss his face but it didn’t quiet register yet.

“Loubear, you won, you need to get up love!”

“I...”

“Go on!!”

 

Harry had to push him in the right direction and half way down the stage Louis realised he’d really won.

He managed to get up on stage and to the microphone without tripping over his own two feet.

“Wow... I honestly didn’t expect that. Thank you BAFTA. I’d like to thank Carol Goodman for writing such an amazing book, Robert Schwentke for turning it into an amazing film and all the actors, crew and everyone who has been a part of this movie. I wouldn’t be standing here without you.

But most of all I’d like to thank my husband, Harry, for his love, encouragement and making me feel like I can achieve whatever I want to. And to my daughter Lily, thank you for the pixie-dust. I guess you were right and daddy did win. All we need is faith and trust, and a little bit of pixie-dust. Thank you!”

 

It was almost morning when they finally returned home. As quiet as possible they went to bed, knowing Dana would be there the moment Lily woke up.

Despite that, Louis heard someone enter the room a few hours later, probably trying to be quiet but failing in the progress.

“Shhh... let your dad sleep some more princess” he heard Harry’s whisper as the weight on the bed changed and he felt someone crawl in between them.

“It worked, didn’t it papa? Tinkerbell always helps when you need her.”

“Yes it worked. You did a very good job there. Now shall I go downstairs with you to make some breakfast?”

 

“Auntie Dana is making pancakes.”

“Oh is she really? Then I guess we have to hurry before she eats everything herself.”

Louis smiled as he heard them leave the room, yawned and stretched before opening his eyes.

He quickly slipped on his robe and followed the rest.

“Sorry ‘bout that, couldn’t control her any longer” Dana said as Louis entered the kitchen.

“That’s alright, I’ll survive. How are you feeling? Hope she didn’t keep you up too long.”

Dana picked up the last plates as they walked to the dining room.

“I’m good.”

As they sat around the table Lily did most of the talking as usual.

This time claiming to have found her prince charming and that they were going to live happily ever after in a giant pink castle.

“And where may this castle be, are we allowed to visit?” Louis asked.

She thought about it for a while and then answered.

“At grandma’s! She wants a new place, right papa? We could all live there together.”

“Alright, and who’s this prince charming of yours then?” Harry asked.

A finger was pointed straight at Dana.

“Dana’s a girl sweetie. Or do you mean Patrick?”

She shook her head firmly.

“Nooooo!”

Dana smiled. “I think I know what she means, I reckon she wants to marry the baby when he’s born, right Lily?”

“No, I don’t want to marry a baby. Yuck. You said you were getting a boy!”

The whole table laughed.

“Something like that yeah. Why don’t you eat the last pancake hun, we’ll arrange that marriage later on!”

 

Louis looked around and smiled. He couldn’t imagine life could get any better than this. Harry was gathering all the plates together when he turned and gave him a messy kiss.

“You had some syrup on your face.” Harry said as an excuse and gave him a wink. “You’re unbelievable, know that?”

“Yeah, that’s me. Mr. Incredible. Thank you babe.”

“For what?”

“For coming back to me.”

“What brings that up all the sudden?”

Harry shrugged. “Am just really happy.”

“So am I. There’s no place like home.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is it. This is the end.
> 
> WOW. can't believe I finished this so quickly. But I had to since I'll be crazy busy with school as from tomorrow so I wanted to finish this a.s.a.p.
> 
> Hope you all liked it, do check out my other stories.   
> For those reading 'Aint no sense in love' I promise to do my very best to work on that inbetween exams and stuff.
> 
> Also, loved all your comments. Honestly, they mean the world to me. So thank you all for reading this <3


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